Several years ago I had a toxic gf who introduced me to the world of paying for sex after we paid to have a girl rub me off in a massage parlour while we were getting massaged beside each other. After that relationship I spiralled from hand jobs into full on sex with random girls online as well as escorts etc. I had some incredible sex and loved the variety of women I got to see and fuck. I got into such a rut of meeting escorts and masseuses that when I met my now wife I carried on fucking others behind her back, even after we got engaged. Me and her would talk such filth (long distance) that I was horny 24/7 so it made me hornier and go fuck girls more. We then got married months later and unfortunately, one small miss on my part meant she discovered my secret life on my phone 3 days after we got married. She even spoke to oke of the prossies. Despite this, she stayed with me, not sure why or how. I tried counselling and other things but I couldn't get enough of the variety and spontaneity of seeing and touching various girls. I denied myself sex with more but continued with happy ending and body to body massages even after marriage. One day I went for what I thought was a massage and ended up fucking the masseuse as she got horny after seeing how "handsome" I was. Ended up fucking my wife only 2 hours later. I felt like such a cunt but the joy of multiple women still plays on my mind too much. I still meet random girls but not for sex, maybe a hj or bj at most but still go for happy ending massages. Do I need help? I'm a real perv. I would fuck my wife's sisters at the drop of a hat if I could but she knows I'm a horny pervert and doesn't like me talking to them. I also don't want to ruin the marriage because she is a really a good girl. Am I a real cunt? Any advice or thoughts?

Mail Order Bride: My Experiences
This is probably going to be a long read.
I'm not sure if anyone on this site has delved into mail order brides, but if you've got the money and you're lonely - it's not the worst thing in the world to do. I've always had several fetishes for oriental and even Russian ladies. So after grieving for a few years after my wife left me for another woman (yes, that fucked with me in so many ways), I decided to try the dating scene. I'd make matches, sometimes even hook up with the lady but nothing really ever clicked enough for me to have a long term relationship with the women. It was date, fuck, on to the next. It got old fast and I was looking for something more, looking for a woman that was actually in to me. So one day I decided to try it.

The sign up fees are stupid and can range from $70 - $200 a month depending on the package you select. I figured I'd make quick work out of it and find someone I was interested in and exchange personal information with them. SO I signed up.
A lot of these girls look like 10/10 models - they all have professional pictures taken and I was like "well I just got scammed, they're all fake as fuck." Seeing all of these flawless women was a bit of a turn off for me - being in my late 40s, I knew I wasn't a bad looking guy but these women - all of them were way out of my league and I had my doubts, especially because I know a majority of them are after citizenship. I felt like I made a big mistake.
I contacted a couple of the ladies, usually didn't get a response. One day I logged in and this very attractive Filipino lady left me a message, just saying "Hi. Saw your profile."
I went to her profile and looked at her pictures, and just kinda shook my head.
I was talking to other women on there, but nothing really panned out. A lot of them barely spoke English.
So I chatted her up. I told her that we had an obvious age difference, and that I didn't know if she'd be comfortable with that. She replied back, "Most Filipina ladies like older men, it's kind of a cultural thing. I like older white men."
So we hit it off. We decided to exchange personal details and I called her up and we'd talk on Skype too. We'd laugh, joke, and just talk about everything under the sun - including her past relationships. She was engaged to be married but the guy got another woman pregnant and the marriage was cancelled. She talked about some of her boyfriends being abused and drinking all the time. She told me about her parents and how she moved out of the house at a young age and supports herself by having a masters degree in economics and works in Manilla and helps with city planning. We talked for months and months. We'd get intimate on Skype, she'd start fingering her pussy, moaning that she wished I was inside her.
"When are you coming, or should I come visit you?" she asked.
My heart raced. So I made plans to take off work for a week and fly out to the Philippines. It's a long flight and I couldn't even sleep - but when I got on the ground I got off the plane, and went outside the airport and called her. She was waiting for me and saw me standing by the road, and honked her horn. She got out of her car and ran up to me, gave me a great big hug and kissed me on the lips. Holy fuck she looked better than her pictures, she could have easily been a model. I loaded my luggage in her car and hopped in the passenger seat. I'm used to order, at least somewhat order - but driving in the Philippines scared the ever fuck out of me. It was very unnerving. From nice paved roads to roads cratered with massive potholes then to dirt roads - we finally made it to her small house that she was renting. We talked all the way to her place, I was so shocked I finally got to meet her - because I didn't feel like it would ever happen.
I was nervous and didn't want to push myself on her, I was worried that maybe I was ugly to her in person.
We got inside, and she made me feel right at home.
"You must be hungry! I cooked this yesterday for you, I'll heat it up, and I'll get you some tea!"
She spoke perfect English, with a small accent from Tagalog.
I told her not to worry. I felt a bit nervous - all the discussions we had, all the cybersex we had - I felt out of place.
She called me over to her small little kitchen table and had a plate prepared for me, with hot peppers, fish and some other ingredients. I have no idea what it's called (even to this day).
"You said you like spicy babe," she said smiling.
I took a few bites. My mouth was on fire, tears ran down my face.
"Holy fuck!" I said, "It's perfect."
She giggled, and her small firm chest bounced at bit. She caught me looking.
"Now now, there's enough time for that later. You still think I'm attractive right? I was so worried that you wouldn't think I'm attractive... "
I looked at her, "You're beautiful, absolutely stunning. Of course I'm attracted to you - physically and mentally. Hopefully I'm not ugly to you..."
Her eyes widened, "Oh, you're fucking hot dude, I'm still very interested in you!"
So we watched some TV, she obviously was horny, as I held her hand she guided me down her shorts to reveal a shaved and dripping wet pussy.
I haven't had sex in a long time. I didn't last long at all. Just how tight she was, how perfect her body was, and how beautifully she looked right into my eyes while I was inside her. I felt her touch my soul so deeply.
"I always imagined this moment, just like this..." she said, smiling.
"Oh, I thought I'd last a lot longer than I did, it's your turn to cum..."
She moaned as she played with my cum dripping out of her swollen pussy. Her fingers spread her dark brown pussy lips aside, showing a beautiful pink inside, as white dribbles of my sperm leaked onto her couch.
My mouth found her small supple tits, licking and sucking - I worked my way down to her dripping shaved pussy, and started massaging her clit with my tongue.
She moaned and grabbed a fist full of my hair, pulling me closer as her hips moved back and forth as I ate her out.
"I'll always be yours, I love you..." she moaned.
"I love you too," I said taking a quick breath.
She began to buck and moan, "Fuck..." she whispered, releasing my hair from her grip.
"I'm not going to want to leave you here," I admitted.
It got late, we ate dinner and went to bed. We fucked again before falling asleep.
We were to lovers who seemed obsessed. She took the week off of work so she could show me the sites around Manilla.
While she took me around to see the sites, something popped into my head - "just marry her already."
I went into a jewelry store by myself (she had errands to run) and got her a nice engagement ring.
The next time she took me out on the town, there was this big beautiful fountain (not sure of the name of it) and I got down on one knee.
"You bring so much life to me, my mind body and soul would ache without you being in my life, will you marry me?"
Her eyes widened, and she looked right into my eyes. There was an uncomfortable silence which seemed to last for an eternity.
"Of course I'll marry you!"
People around us clapped and congratulated us.
I didn't know how easy it was to get married in the Philippines. It's almost like Vegas but without Elvis overseeing your vows.
We fucked every single day, sometimes twice to three times in the same day. We discussed that she was going to quit her job and move with me to the USA. So I helped her pack a lot of her stuff in boxes and we mailed the boxes to my address. She talked to her landlord who owned the property and told them she was leaving at the end of the week, so she can move to the USA with her husband.
The landlord congratulated her and wished her well.
I've been married to her for 15 years and she is still the most amazing woman I've ever met in my life.
We've had 2 kids together and her body snapped right back into shape. She's as beautiful as ever. A timeless beauty. So yeah. Sometimes those crazy mail order bride sites actually work.

Hey, Trying to find a porno I watched years ago. Can't remember the name though.

Was about a girl who has an imaginary male friend who she ends up fucking. They end up roaming the streets finding people to have sex with and each time the fuck them to death. One of the first they find is a hooker, and the girl is all nervous and asks her for an "around the world". Weird movie but it was awesome. Pretty sure it was filmed around 1990 - 2000.

Help me out. Cheers.

Hello my wife and I we are a kind of legend of scat on the internet and we have many fans around the world who have followed us across the years ,we are into scat, piss, vomit, fetishes for 35 years with quite bit of experience without any restrictions ,we love playing scat at least 2 time a week in all its forms, we are always naked at home 12 months per year and always ready to play extreme filthy games including shit eating ,piss drinking,full scat smearing, farts smelling, dirty talk, messy anal sex, sex toy
we are both totally addicted to those fetishes and we are seeking

a single bi /100% busty toilet bbw with big fat ass and shaved pussy into the same interests with a quite bit of experience without any taboos and sexual limits,so if you recognize yourself in our request add and you want to live a dirty messy threesome mff with a nice perverted couple you are welcome ,like we are both retired we can accommodate at home without problem ,you must like all perversions we mentioned above and be covid and diseases free

my wife and I we can be also dominant than submissive and we need switch woman
to giving /receiving from USA or Canada only with a naked selfie gallery on motherless
no pics no answer we need someone serious in their steps no spam or false profile

why in the world does the facebook of sex ad have to come up on every page? its super annoying and makes me not want to come here

Trying to find a "sex map" I saw somewhere in the world of perverted things we have out there... it was sort of like a checklist? Had pretty much everything you can think of. anyone? thanks.

I'm fucking pissed. I just found out that this US Marine that I've chatted with got arrested in a sting operation for soliciting sex with minors. We both have profiles on a site similar to this one and that's where we chatted. He wasn't too bright, obviously, but he was a sweet kid who is just a horny sexual libertine.

Some fucking douchebag Homeland Security agent created a fake profile on the site, told my Marine friend that he had a son and a daughter who he was raising as cumsults who loved to suck their daddy's cock and invited the Marine to come visit and join in. This poor, dumb kid thought he'd struck gold and had met a real father who was head of a sex-positive household and just wanted to join in the fun.

What the fuck is Homeland Security doing running pedo stings, anyway? Have the smelly foreigners from the part of the world where bedsheets pass as casual wear been so lacks in their attempts to kill Americans that Homeland Security are now the small town cops who hand out traffic tickets for trumped-up violations like they're goddamn Jehovah's Witness Watchtower pamphlets because they have nothing better to do? Last time I checked, the purpose of Homeland Security was to keep the camel jockies from committing acts of terror . . . NOT ARRESTING HORNY U.S. MARINES FOR TRYING TO GET THEIR DICKS WET!!!!

That poor boy's life is over.

Bastard fucking Puritanical cunt-sniffing Pat Robertson's-dusty-old-butthole-licking addlepated fart-huffing ignorant ass-backward mosquito-raping dickless fuck-face shit-eaters!!! It makes me wish there was a god, so that the judgmental, unethical twat-wrinkles that support this unjust justice system could rot in Hell for eternity, getting ass-raped by sperm whales.

Fuck You, Dickworms! Fuck you in your fat, fucking assholes!!!

My Cousins Future Wife To Be
From Stroke4Stroke"

She was my roommates new girl friend. She was
about four foot ten inches tall and weighed about
80 to 90 pounds. Small petit, breasts a bit large
for her small frame. Her legs were well shaped
and so smooth looking. She was also on the shy
side.

I knew that my roommate was not fucking her,
he was quite religious and didn't believe in
sex before marriage. That is until he became
engaged to her. Yes, I knew all about my
roommate. He was also my cousin, Jeb.
We were living together in a small two bedroom house that we had
rented, both of us working in the
same town but different businesses.

Natalie was her name and he told me she was
seventeen. A nice young age. He also told me
that she had told him she was a virgin. He had
not even fondled her breasts.

I could see that he was enthralled with her.

Now my roommate, Ted, was not the brightest
man in the world. He was twenty eight but he
did have a good job, in fact an excellent job that
paid damn well.

Natalie was still living at home, but working at
a good company. She had graduated from high
school about six months before.

I first met her when he brought her to the house
and they sat watching a show on TV. She acted
so shy, her eyes dropping whenever she looked
at me and saw me looking at her.

She always dressed conservatively with a blouse
that covered everything and a long skirt that came
down to her knees. One thing I did notice, she
never wore any stockings or nylons.

Another thing I noticed was that when she would
see me looking at her, her nipples would get hard
and stiff and swollen and show through her blouse.
I could make out her swollen stiff nipples through
her blouse, the way they poked the material.

I got the impression that my looking at her actually
turned her on. I think she knew that I would love
to be able to enjoy her body. I was sure that she
was actually turned on by my looking at her
attributes.

As I would sit there and stare at her, she would
wiggle around as if she couldn't get situated, either
that or that she was turned on and wanted to
at least finger fuck herself.

Jeb never realized what was happening as he would
sit right there beside her, not even realizing that her
nipples were swollen and stiff or that she was
squirming and uncomfortable.

They had dated for about three months, always
coming over and watching movies, sitting together
on the couch. I never once seen him kiss her while
they sat there holding hands. I wondered if he was
even kissing her good night.

Then came that Friday night when they came in
after a movie and was sitting there. One thing
different that night was that when I offered both
of them a drink, they both said yes.

I knew that Jeb did not drink or at least did not
drink much.

Well that particular night after that one drink he
wanted another, then another, then another. I don't
think that he even realized how much he was
actually drinking. That and the fact that I kept
putting a little more in each time.

Natalie was also feeling what she had to drink but
I had not increased the alcohol in hers like I did
his and she was not drunk, but pleasingly relaxed.

She was also not quite so careful with her skirt and
her moving around had caused it to pull up letting
me see her well shaped legs and thighs clear up to
her panty covered pussy.

She didn't seem to realize that she was letting me
see her womanhood.

As I watched her she even spread her legs a bit more
giving me an even better view. When she did she
gave me a shy look and smile. She glanced at him
then back at me.

Jeb with what he had to drink was by then drunk. He
was slurring his words and could hardly talk. He
finally was sitting there with a glazed look in his
eyes. I knew he was on the verge of passing out.
Hell I had been to that point several times, but not
this time.

My drinks had very little alcohol in them. Not like
how I had his fixed. Natalie was affected by what
she had drank, giggling and laughing, especially
when she would see me looking right at her
panty covered pussy, but she never once closed her
legs.

Finally I told her that I had to put him to bed in his
room. She giggled and said she would help. She
followed me into his bedroom as I almost had to
carry him. Once I had him in his room, she insisted
in helping me undress him.

When I had him down to his shorts I started to cover
him up and she giggled told me that I hadn't
completely undressed him and she pulled his shorts
down and off, then stood there staring at his wilted
cock.

When she looked at me, I could see that glazed look
of desire in her eyes and on her face. She looked back
down and stared at his cock again.

Finally I covered him and went back to the living
room. This time I set on the couch and motioned
for her to sit beside me. She hesitantly did. Right
next to me.

We sat there a full minute not saying anything. I
decided to push things. I put my arm around her
and pulled her to me, kissing her on the lips.

Boy did she respond. Her arms went around my
neck and she pressed herself against me, as her
lips, trembling caressed mine, then her tongue
slipped between my lips to caress my tongue.
She moaned as I sucked lightly on her tongue
and caressed her lips back with mine. My hand
began roaming her small body. She didn't
resist and let me touch her wherever I wanted
too.

She gasp when my hand slipped up slowly to
cup her small breast and squeezed it lightly.
That was the beginning. I soon had her blouse
unbuttoned and was not only fondling and
squeezing both of her bare breasts, I also leaned
down and carefully licked and sucked her breasts
and nipples.

She was moaning and groaning as she held my
head and mouth against her breasts, keeping me
sucking on them.

As I did I slipped my hand down to her bare
leg and began caressing her soft but firm
legs and soon her inner thigh. She didn't stop me.
As I moved my hand higher she spread her legs
wider, kissing me passionately.

Natalie seemed to want me to enjoy her body and
I was sure going to as far as I could take it. I soon
had her blouse completely off, leaving her naked
from the waist up. She didn't stop me there. When
my hand softly touched her wet panties right on
her pussy, she again gasp and spread her legs wider.

With that I slowly pulled her panties down and again
she didn't resist. We were not speaking or saying
'anything, we were enjoying each others lips and
tongues and I was enjoying her bare breasts and then
her bare pussy. She had no pussy hair, having shaved
it. Her cunt was wet and well lubricated. with my
fingers rubbing her wet pussy, she reached down and
taking my hand pushed my finger up into her own
tight hot wet cunt.

I didn't feel a hymen, so I figured that this was not the
first time she had had sex. I was wrong. I found out
later she had torn her hymen during gymnastics at
school.

She was tight. She was hot, She was wet and she
acted like she wanted me to fuck her. I soon had
her stripped and she was then undressing me.

When she pulled my pants down, then pulled my
shorts down. She stared at my stiff cock, then
smiling, she wrapped her hand around it and began
slipping it up and down my thick shaft.

I almost cum right then. She kissed me again and
our naked bodies caressed each other. I began to
lay her down, but she, smiling, stood up and pulled
me up by the hand. She then led me into my cousins
bedroom where he was passed out naked on the bed.

She pulled me onto the bed, then laying me down,
she kissed me then began kissing her way down my
stomach until she got to my stiff cock.

She was hesitant at first as she slowly licked her
tongue around my cock head. Then with that gleam
in her eyes, she opened her mouth and slipped it
down over my cock head.

She looked me right in the eyes as she sucked my
cock in and out of her mouth with my cousin laying
right there passed out.

As she sucked my cock, I pulled her around until
she was on me, a leg on each side of my head he
sweet looking wet pussy right at my lips.

I slowly licked my tongue up her wet slit tasting
her sweet juices. Then as she sucked my cock and
licked my cock head, I licked and sucked her tight
wet pussy and swollen pussy lips. She moaned
loudly when I licked and sucked on her sensitive
swollen clitoris.

It seemed like a very short time and she suddenly
stiffened and cried out with a muffled cry, her
mouths full of my cock head.

I pulled her off of me, then I spread her legs,
moving between them. When I began slipping
my cock up and down her wet slit, she reached
down and taking my cock in her hand, rubbed
it up and down her slit, then guided it to her
opening and pulled on it pressing it against
her hole.

I looked at her and seeing the sexual gleam
in her eyes, I kissed her. When I did I lunged
and plunged my stiff think cock up inside of
her until I had it buried deep.

She cried out as my cock plunged up inside of
her stretching her wide. I felt no hymen when
my cock plunged up inside of her until it
plunged against her vaginal wall and her
cervix.

She wrapped her legs around my waist and began
pulling her cunt up at my cock each and every time
I drove it up inside of her.

I was in heaven and I guess she was too, because in
a short time she cried out with pleasure once more
and pulled my cock up into her as deep as she could
get it and held me there with her strong legs as her
vaginal muscles milked my cock until I flooded her
cunt with my hot fertile sperm. She cried out when
she felt my sperm flooding her womb.

That was not the end of it. We lay together with my
cousin right there beside us. We didn't even uncouple
once. I fucked and fucked her, pumping my sperm up
inside of her four times, taking her through orgasm
after orgasm.
Finally exhausted and no longer able to even get
stiff and hard again, I finally got up after kissing
her long and passionate.

As I got up out of bed, I noticed that I had covered
her small petit breasts with my teeth marks and her
nipples were swollen.

She lay there naked beside my cousin, her pussy
gapping and leaking my sperm. As I watched her,
she slipped her finger up inside of her and then
rubbed it over my cousins wilted soft cock.

She did that until his cock was coated with her
pussy fluids and my sperm. Then smiling at me
had me kiss her goodnight again, then told me
she would see me in the morning, after she had
convinced him that he had fucked her.

I didn't know why she was doing that. But I
wasn't going to ask questions. I had enjoyed
fucking her to much and was hoping to get to
fuck her again.

I went to bed, and sleep to dream about fucking
my cousins girl friend.

It was really something seeing my cousins look
when he came out of his bedroom, with his
girlfriend still in bed naked and him thinking
he had fucked her.

He said nothing but he looked embarrassed when
she finally came out with a big smile on her face
and went to him and kissed him. She looked at
me and winked at me, then told him she needed
a ride home. That her parents would be worried
about her not expecting her to be out all night.

After that he would bring her to the house and
they would snuggle up on the couch but he would
never take another drink.

It was about a month and a half later that he told
me that he and Natalie were getting married. That
was when he told me that she was pregnant, that the
night she stayed all night and he got drunk he had
had sex with her and she had gotten pregnant. I knew
immediately that the baby was not his, that it was
mine because he had not fucked her.

The next time she came over she grinned at me
knowing that I knew she was pregnant and that the
baby was not his but mine.

He had to leave for about an hour and during that
brief hour, I again enjoyed the feeling of my cock
buried deep in her now pregnant cunt. She told me
that he believed he had fucked her that night getting
her pregnant. She also told me that she would be
seeing me once in a while when we could be alone
so that she could fuck me. Hell yes I was agreeable
to that.

She was four months pregnant when they stood up
before the minister and tied the knot. When she
kissed me after the ceremony her tongue darted into
my mouth to caress my tongue and then was gone.
As she hugged me, she whispered that she would
see me soon.

They were gone on their honeymoon for a week.
When they returned, she moved into the bedroom
with him. Of course she had the run of the house
also. She didn't insist that they get an apartment
or a house. She was content with them staying
there with me.

One nice thing about it was whenever he was gone
to work, I was enjoying his bride who was pregnant
with my baby.

I was fucking her more than he was. He never gave
any sign that he knew I was fucking her or that he
knew the baby was mine and not his.

They lived with me up until she had the baby girl,
which he was delighted. But once she was born,
he decided that he wanted a house of their own for
their daughter. The house they bought was only a
couple of miles away. It was quite something when
he found out she was pregnant again. It seems he was
after her to have another baby. Well she made sure
she got pregnant again. What he didn't realized or
know was that while he was at work, I was planting
a second baby in his wifes womb. He was excited
as hell when he found out his wife was pregnant
again.

No I didn't fuck her every day from then on. Only
once in a while. It was great fucking her with her
stomach swollen with her second baby. She told
me it was exciting having him fuck her with my
baby in her womb. She thought it was exciting
having another man's baby in her womb with
her husband fucking her, pumping his sperm up
into her, thinking that it was his baby she was
going to give birth too.

Then unfortunately, his job transferred him and they
had to move out of state to another town. She had
too move with him after one last fuck from me.
Before they moved though, she had her second
daughter. When they were getting ready to leave
she came over to see me and that last fuck. While
she was there, she told me that she would be back
to visit and that she wanted me to fuck both of the
girls when she came back so that I could take
their virginity, then she was going to get her
husband to fuck both of them. Once he did, she
was sure she could get him to have me fuck her
while he watched and fucked the two girls once
she got him to fuck the girls after I took their
virginity.

Oh yes it was going to seem like a long time
until she has me fuck the our two daughters,
that her husband thought were his and take their
virginity then talk him into fucking them
enjoying them.

In the mean time, my sister is going to move in
with me. I don't think it will take very long before
I have my sister sleeping with me then once I plant
my seed in her, she will let her boyfriend think that
it's his. Oh yes she knows about me and my cousins
wife. That's how she came up with the idea of having
me fuck her and get her pregnant and let her boy
friend that she wants to marry think that it is his.

That is going to be one joyous night when I fuck my
own sister during her fertile period, taking her
virginity and getting her pregnant. I can hardly wait.
After all sis tells me she is still a virgin and she won't
let him fuck her until after I fucked her all during her
fertile time. Then she will get him to fuck her and
let him think the baby is his.

Sis just told me that next week is her fertile week and
she wants me to fuck her all week so that she can then
let her boy friend fuck her and think he was the one
that got her pregnant. She was sure if I fucked her all
week, she would be having my baby. But she would
tell him it was his. She had then hugged me and
kissed me, then giggle and told me "No I could not
fuck her until then. Then I would be taking her
virginity and getting her pregnant at the same time.

I knew that I would be spending most of next week,
day and night in bed with my cock buried deep inside
of my own fertile sisters tight cunt, planting my seed
in her fertile garden.

Damn this was going to be a long five days until
Friday, when I would be fucking my own sister
enjoying her fine, beautiful young virginal body.

Since getting released from prison recently after doing the best part of a decade in there my wife has tried to make me feel very welcome back at home and she tries to do anything she can to make my transition back to the outside works as easy as it can be. The truth is though that I would much rather still be in the prison. I heaps prefer the prison environment, everything you need is there or easily obtainable. The sex is out of this world and since prison although I’m not gay I have no interest in women and would much rather sex with another man. The raw animalistic nature of man to man sex is something they cannot be surpassed. So easy to just proposition another man and within the hour have his cock balls deep in your ass. 

I got divorced almost three years ago. I am a female, in my late 30s, and I have been married for 15 years, so I married young.

He was my first, if you dont count a few innocent hs pettings, and our sex life was pretty non existent, for the last few years of marriage. I have relived myself, many times, and eventually got sucked into the world of erotic forums, porn sites etc.

After we split up, my libido just jumped through the roof, and my online addiction sky rocketed. I wanted sex so badly, I have caught myself having these indecent thoughts about men around me, at work, at the supermarket etc.

Why didnt I do anything?

I am affraid. I have had sex with only one man in my life, and I guess I was insecure, so I stayed locked inside this cage I have built for myself.

Through all this, I started chatting with this man, some ten years younger than me, via this erotic forum. It became a form of hotting, with words at starters. Then I sent him some photos of me, without face and clothed, he sent me his, and he is a handsome, handsome man, so handsome, that I have wondered what such a good looking man is doing sexting a woman like me.

It evolved, i sent him some bikini photos, than partial nudes, and full nudes at the end, and eventually we saw each other on cam.

It was so sexy. He was raining down on me with compliments, throughout all of this, how beautifull I am, how hot I am, and such things are nice to hear. LIttle digression - I know I look good, and my looks werent the obstacle for me to find someone to have sex with - it was the other issues, I discussed earlier.

So we continued with this for more than 6 months, and it was hot, so intense. He was so good at describing things, it was like living through an audio version of the best erotic story ever written. Him, talking, made me climax every time, but looking at him through the camera didnt hurt either.

And he was obsessed with my behind, always asking for me to show it, and if I did, he would climax almost immediately. He would always tell me how he wants me from behind, or in a reverse cowgirl etc, and it got me appreciating that part of my body, and I did become aware that it does look good for a woman of my shape and size.

Long story short, after almost half of year of this, one day he sends me a message that he is coming to my country on business (we both live in Europe - different countries), and that he will be in such and such hotel, room number ..., and gives me his telephone number, for me to call him, so we could go out for dinner and, who knows.

I decided not to go, not to call him, it was all fun, but one thing is a fantasy through the weil of some anonymity, and this would be something completely different.

I was fighting myself on this one, I wanted to go, but I was scared, really scared that I will ruin it, by meeting him. You have got to understand, this was a kind of a relationship for me, something I was looking forward, seeing him online.

He was staying there for three nights. On the second night, I called him at 1 a.m. My voice was... I was scared. Asked him if I can come over to his room.

An hour later, I was there, in leather pants (god, what was I thinking), and a bottle of wine. We started going at each other immediately, we were both so desperate. He ripped my blouse off of me, and went for my breast right away. I was on fire, ready to go, like I have had hours of fore play.

And as we started to undress, I remembered his fixation, so as he was laying on his back, I got on top of him, kissed him, then turned the other way. I have never had sex in this position, so I was a bit scared, but ready to go. He had a condom on... And he came after no more than 20 seconds.

My dissapointment was inmesurable. He did try to get me off, afterwards, but wasnt good at it, so I faked it. I excused myself, and lied to him that I will see him again tomorrow, and told him it was good, it was all I was hoping for.

Never saw him again, not in real life, nor online. But this awkward experience was an eye opener of sorts. What was I affraid of?

Two weeks later, I met a man of my age, also divorced, like me, and I am having the best sex of my life.

I think this whole experience helped me understand a few things about myself. And one thing is for sure, I lost years of my life, living of sexual scraps, from my husband, later on, from online erotica, but nothing beats the real thing, when it is done right.