Me and my wife started swinging few years back. It didnt happen over night, but we somehow got to this point.

Little back story - we are together since high school, married young, and now we are in our early 40s. She was petite, and I am very tall, but over the years she gained weight, and lost a lots of her charm, but I love her, and still find her very beautiful, even though she objectively isnt.

We learned sex together, trying out all sorts of things, which made us trust each other in the explorations of finding new sexual adventures, so the idea of swinging came up, gradually. She found out, through gossip, that one of her co workers (male), did swing with his wife, and that got us to talk about it, laughing at first, but then, through time, came close to that idea.

So we found this small "club", and went to one of the parties, wanting to just observe for starters. And we did, and it was scary, a bit over the top for the both of us, and we spent the night at the bar, where we met this other couple, in the same predicament. Talked all night, got a little drunk, and agreed to meet up, separately, just for the company, since the swinging thing seemed not to be for us.

We didnt call them, I guess they hesitated too, but after some time, she called my wife, and we decided to meet up. Had dinner, at a restaurant, the subject came up, and we kind a all agreed that this thing might be interesting, if neither of us pushes it too far.

It was a journey. We started with being comfortable naked around each other. After some time, we were having sex, each with our own wife, while we were in the same bed. After that, it was just a question when will it happen.

The suspense, the excitement!!!! I was pretty reserved that this thing might work, but the fact that his wife is hotter than mine, this slim, fit body, made me want her so bad. And the sex we had (me and my wife), after those nights with them, was amazing.

I guess we were all a bit scared of each others reactions, and feelings, even our own, that this took a lots of time.

First inter couple contact was in a form of a mutual masturbation. Dear god, it felt surreal. After that,came oral. We would lick each others wifes, and then go back and fuck our own. Then we evolved with getting a bj to completion from each others wifes. And finally, the sex, a true wife swapping, on their king size bed, next to each other.

We started from seeing each other once a month, to twice a month, to every weekend. We became friends, and developed a kind of trust, I honestly thought isnt possible, and I even think that all this made our marriage better - I dont feel bad, neither does she, and our sex life is insane.

Last weekend, we even did anal. It was.... perfect.

The only thing is, that I am now afraid, that sooner or later, this has to end, and that we will never find someone so compatible with us. What will happen after that?

Maggie's imprisonment Part II

The went down many stairs to an area that was lit by electric lights. Then they went through a doorway and went down another set of stairs to an area that no electric lights at all. The only light came from a torch in the hand of one of the men.     They went down a long flight of stairs and ended up in a long hall way with doors lining both sides. They took her to one of the doors and threw the door open. "Welcome to your cell, Maggie," one of the men said.    Although Maggie's cell was completely devoid of light, she had gotten a very good look at it when she had first been chained up. The room was about 3 meters deep and about 2 meters wide. The ceiling was about 3 meters high. There were no windows at all and the only door to the cell was made of solid iron. The walls were made of large stone blocks, held together with old mortar. There were no modern conveniences in the cell. No electric lights, no running water, no toilet. There were no creature comforts either. No bed, no chair, not even a pile of straw to lay on.
The one thing the cell did possess was shackles. Four heavy and shining shackles to be exact. Two shackles hung from the upper part of the wall opposite the cell door, they were passed through huge metal rings, which were fixed in it. The shackles were separated in this way for app. 60 cm. Two other shackles were attached at the lower part of the wall, their chain passed only through one ring. The shackles were opened, with a joint at the side of the connection to the chain. They positioned Maggie directly beneath the shackles, her back to the wall.    
Then they uncuffed her wrists, they were hurting after being mistreated the whole time. The skin was bruised and swollen. Maggie's right arm was raised to the dangling shackle pulling it down, until the other shackle hit the metal ring with out loud clanking sound. They wrapped the metal shackle around her wrist, and pressed it firmly together. It closed with a clicking sound and fitted tightly around her narrow wrists, pressing firmly in the bruised skin there.     Maggie looked at her slightly upraised arm. She saw the shackle locked around her wrist. As the men walked to her left side, she gently shook her raised arm.     The iron chain rattled gently in response.     Suddenly the movement of her left arm brought her attention to her left. It was raised over her head to the other shackle which was pulled down. The rings were fixed very high und the shackle’s chain was short, show she was lifted up to stand on her forefeet. She watched with sick fascination as the shackle was locked down around the left wrist. It was just as tight as the right shackle was. The sounding of its closing mechanism was clearly audible for everyone.     Maggie was standing on her forefeet like the letter Y with her arms chained in the air. She looked at her upraised arms one last time and she became aware of the captors kneeling in front of her. She heard the shackles at her feet moving and she looked down. They uncuffed her ankles, then took one shackle, wrapped it around her right ankle and locked it the same way like the others. This ankle shackle was even tighter than the wrist shackles, pressing ugly in the damaged skin. It hurt like hell, and she began to tremble. She noted that there was an obvious distance between the last open shackle and her left ankle that still was free. When they pulled this shackle down, the locked shackle started to torture her right ankle severely and she had to lift herself upon her toes. Only now the men were able to lock also the last shackle.
They had finished their work, they lifted up and went back. They seemed to be satisfied with the results. Maggie was moaning intensely, because her body stretched and the tight shackles biting in her wrists and ankles.
One of the men said: “These shackles are really tight, aren’t they? Well, that’s the way all the prisoners here are treated. You will get used of them after a while. The locks are closed permanently, so you won’t never get free again.Maggie understood now what has happened: These strangers have fixed her body at this wall in this nasty cell in a painful way, she never won’t be able to get free by herself and no one will find her here down in this hidden dungeon. This was insane! She started to scream until one of the men hit her in her face. Then she felt in silence. In her head a strange mood emerged, it seemed that she separated her mind from her body.
    Maggie closed her eyes, expecting to feel something. Anything. Maybe he was about to place a blindfold over her eyes. Maybe he was about to inflict some type of painful stimulus. But there was nothing but the sound of the door closing behind her. Maggie opened her eyes to look, but with the torch gone from the room, she truly realized how totally dark the cell was. Undeterred, Maggie tried to look behind her best she could, but with absolutely no light in the room, she saw nothing.     Although she could see nothing, she could still hear. She heard the sound of the iron door closing behind her. She heard the sound of a deadbolt lock being thrown closed. Then she heard the sound of a large sliding lock being engaged. Finally, she heard was could only the sound of a large iron bar being lowered over the door.    Three locks made certain that the door would never open from the inside.    Then there was nothing but silence in the cell.    And that was it. Maggie was chained up. A 21st century woman chained in a 13th century dungeon cell. These huge shackles around Maggie's wrists and ankles held onto Maggie just as tightly today as they had done for years. Times and technology may have changed, but the shackles were just as effective on Maggie as they had been on girls in days gone by. He whole body was stretched by standing on her toes.
    Maggie would experience three phases of captivity during these first twenty hours.  The first phase began only a few seconds after the door was closed. Once Maggie realized she was alone, naked, and chained in a room that there was no way she could leave, pure terror overcame her and she began screaming.     She screamed at the top of her lungs. She screamed for help. She screamed obscenities. She screamed out all manners of words. She screamed out noises. She shook the chains that kept her arms stretched up. She shook the chains that kept her legs shackled to the floor. She shook them with all the strength that she had. She screamed out pleas for help. She screamed out curses and threats. She literally screamed until she totally lost her voice. Every inch of her naked body became covered in sweat as she exerted all of her strength in an attempt to break her bonds. Her mussels began to cramp, especially in the calves.    That was the first hour of her captivity. A panic attack. A mental breakdown.    Absolute. Terror.    Her voice now silenced, the second phase began: crying. Silent tears fell as she first thought about her three children and her husband. She thought of friends and family members and coworkers. She thought of the Disney vacation the family had taken last year and how they had plans to save up enough money to go in another 3 years. She thought of her pet cat. She wondered if her family knew she was missing. She wondered if the police were searching for her. She wondered again where she was.    Tears flowed unobstructed, as her shackled hands made it impossible for her to wipe them away. Mucus began flowing from her nose. Salty tears didn't stop for three hours. That was the second phase.    The third phase was silence. She had no strength to shake her bonds. She had no voice to make noise. She had no more tears to weep. She stood there and thought about her predicament. She had no idea what the future had in store for her, but she figured it was bleak.     After 20 hours standing in chains, Maggie was exhausted, sore, aching. Maggie was defeated.     There was no way she could ever escape the cell, even if she could somehow remove the shackles that secured her hands high over her head and her bare feet to the wall. Her shoulders ached intensely, her hands and feet feel cold and numb now, there must be swollen. Her struggling against the shackles have damaged the skin at her wrists and ankles, because every movement of her hands and feet, including of her fingers and toes, is really painful. How long can she stand this? And what will happen if she remains shackled like this for the rest of her life.
There was absolute silence in the cell as Maggie held her breath and listened. She couldn't hear anything outside of her cell. For all she knew there was no world outside of the dungeon. There was just her, waiting, chained in Maggie's cell.

Hello everyone, I'm looking for a bit of help. 

Recently I went for a week away with my wife to a sunny island. It was a very nice hotel with a pool and it also has a private beach. Between the pool and the beach, these places got me into trouble with her. I got into trouble because she said that I was staring at women who were around the two places, the beach and the pool. Well, I probably was looking, sorry, I was looking, but to be honest there was some really not looking chicks there. I tried to tell her that she's only thinking this but one bay at the beach I just couldn't help myself but look and she cough me. It really wasn't anything but a look but that didn't go down well at all.

Just to let you know, my wife is really sexy looking. I'm definitely punching above weight. But she didn't forgive me for quite a time, I had to keep my eyes looking down at my toes for the rest of the stay.I'm going to post a couple of photos just to let you see my problem that I was dealing with. Looking at these, I want to know how could a red blooded man not look and definitely I was wishing for just 1 hour with the one on the beach.

The first is at the hotel. There were many looking like this.

The second is the one at the beach and  I'd love a hour with. I only saw her once.

The third is some sneaky photos I took of my wife changing. You can see that she's sexy, well I think so anyway.

Please let me know what you think of my predicament andwhat would you do?

I confess that regular porn doesn't turn me on. I prefer the thrill of the hunt instead.

Yeah, breasts and pussy and ass are nice, but they just don't do anything for me. But through a combination of trauma and mental disability, I would just look at the naughty bits and think "Oh! Those are naughty bits!". By themselves, they don't turn me on.

What does turn me on, however, is the act of restraint and confinement. You know, things like home invasions... kidnapping... taking a cute girl and fully restraining her, turning her into an unwilling vessel for sexual fun. There's something really exciting about hunting down a woman, fully restraining her so she can't get away... and then slowly fondling her, undoing her clothing, degrading and making her feel embarrassed... listening to her moan in defeat as I tell her what I want to do to her. Sliding my fingers into her panties despite her gagged cries to let her go... moaning softly into her ear as I take her, feeling her tighten around me, her body in full betrayal towards my will.

I hope to find a woman like Asiana Starr or someone similar someday. A girl who is utterly adorable and sweet and happens to like tough bondage, who not just knows, but anticipates the idea of a man binding her tightly and putting her in tough predicaments to chase that orgasmic high... who would gladly play into the idea of a rape fantasy, being bound and gagged in her own bed by a stranger who will not just use her, but torture her, ravish her, tell her what a good girl she is when she is forced to cum over and over again... but that's just a fantasy I have.

I had to endure many subway rides were a man's dick was nestled between the cheeks of my fat ass.

On one occasion when I was a teen and was quite plump, and on my way to college, I was abused in a crowded subway. A perv got on the train and probably spotted me and moved in behind me. I had nowhere to go and he had me cornered against the train door. He had sweatpants on that had pockets. He had his hand in his pocket and the pocket lining was cut out so he could access his dick through the pocket (my friend educated me on how they do that). He was obviously jerking off and would stop every few seconds to hump against my ass. He was jerking off with his dick against my ass (his hardon was obvious through the sweatpants). After a few seconds I caught on but couldn't move.
The man had pushed himself harder against me. There was no doubt now that I could feel his erection through the fabric of his sweatpants and my leggings.
I could feel the heat and weight of the man's flesh through the lycra of my leggings. I could definitely feel his hard cock rubbing on my ass and then settling into the crevasse between my butt, rubbing on my leggings.
The crowded train and the doorway offered me nowhere to go. My face turned a bright red as I was forced to accept my predicament. Shamefully I was getting wet. I couldn't help it. But I didn't want to. This wasn't right. This stranger was taking advantage. But what if I just let him...what if I just let him satiate himself against my fat ass? What if I allowed him to that? If he didn't put it inside me there was no harm no foul was there? He might get angry otherwise. He might try and rape...no! He wouldn't surely! Maybe just let him continue to do what he was doing? So-what if I was a little wet and shit scared?
He grew bold as he saw I offered no resistance and placed his left hand on my left ass cheek and humped away against my ass with his dick in between my cheeks and then lowered his sweatpants just slightly and came all over my ass. He rubbed it into my ass with his dickhead and got off at the next stop leaving me molested and with a huge cum stain on my leggings.
On my next stop I had to run to a washroom and wipe his cum from ass using a handkerchief. I did my walk of shame to the college. Anyone paying attention to my ass would know that my ass was cummed on. My entire day was traumatized but moreover I felt guilty for being wet by getting abused and molested.

My therapist said that it's common and a biological response from my body to not get hurt from being assaulted (Although he never penetrated me)
What I didn't tell her was that I went home traumatized and while undressing I saw the thick stain of my juices on my panties and although ashamed and guilty I became wet again. Then strangely out of nowhere I shamefully smelled my leggings, it was a stench of my sweat, my juices and his cum. I inhaled it by pressing my nose into it as I rubbed my clit roughly imagining the traumatizing event of the day. I started moaning and to gag myself I shoved the cum covered handkerchief in my mouth. Drooling and swallowing my saliva with my molesters cum. As if that was not enough I wore my leggings over my head pressing my nose on the places of cum stain and where his cock was. In my mind I was degrading and shaming myself, calling myself a whore, slut, cunt as all the feminism and my dignity was dripping out my cunt. I felt guilt and shame of how I am behaving and how I was wet during the molestation and it made me cum, my legs shaking and my eyes rolling back in my head as my body convolusing violently. My body went limp and after a few minutes I gathered my strength to slowly pull off the leggings above my face and I saw myself in mirror beside my bed. I was naked lying face down, sweaty, handkerchief in my mouth, leggings stuffed over my head. Shame, regret and guilt filled me as I started to see the pictures of my friends and family on my dresser. With tears in my eyes I realized of what I have done and how lowly, Wanton and a filthy whore I am. I was ashamed of the person in mirror who didn't have any dignity, self respect and was lying like a piece of limp fuckmeat. And then I felt the tingle in my stupid cunt again and I started rubbing again feeling the mix of regret, shame, humiliation as I saw the stupid fuckmeat in the mirror along with my friends and family pictures. Gagging on the handkerchief I called her disgusting names as my reflection came like a bitch. Shamefully again I covered my face in leggings and I rubbed my shame on my molested leggings.
That night I came 2 more times while degrading and abusing my cunt as moved from awake and sleep states. The next morning I woke up with tired body, sore mouth, sore cunt and reeking of the stench of my juices, sweat and his cum.

Pauline The Slut - Part 12: My First Women

On Friday he came home around midday. He went upstairs and came down with two suitcases. "I left your clothes on the bed. Hurry and get dressed." A few minutes later I came down dressed in a black leather mini skirt and black leather bra. Our trip in the car went by in silence. After an hour and a half we turned down a forest road. 10 minutes later we went through a gate and along a track until we arrived at a cabin.

We went inside. He had me make some lunch. After we'd eaten we went to one of the bedrooms. He took a black babydoll and thong out of one of the cases and told me to put them on. When I changed he picked up the camera and took some photos of me. After 10 or 15 minutes there was a knock on the bedroom door. He opened the door and a man came in. They shook hands. He was Gary and in his 40s. A little taller than my husband, he had fair hair."Come here slut."I went over to them."What are you.""I'm Pauline and I'm a slut.""She is still in training and needs plenty of discipline." I was mortified as he went on to describe the things he had done to me.Gary then brought us to the other bedroom at the end of the corridor. I froze when I saw a woman standing by the window dressed exactly like me but in red. She was about 40, slim with black hair. I felt sick as it dawned on me what was going to happen. The thought of having sex with another woman had always repulsed me. But there was no doubt that it was about to happen. This was one of the awful things my husband had promised to have me do."This is my fuck slave wife, Ellie."My husband told me to go stand beside her. He and Gary started taking photos of us."Smile slut" my husband said. "Put your arms around each other "

"Kiss"I hesitated but Ellie turned to me and kissed me. I felt her tongue enter my mouth. I didn't move.

My husband came over and grabbed my nipple. "You will do everything Gary and I tell you to do. If you don't we will spend all weekend torturing you. It's your choice. Now kiss and lots of tongue in her mouth and in her pussy."Ellie and I kissed again. This time I used my tongue."Slut massage the fuck slaves breast while your kissing her." Gary demanded."That's it, play with her nipple.""Now get on the bed."We moved to the bed. I hadn't noticed the three video cameras before, one placed each side of the bed and one placed at the end. Gary switched them on.We were told to lie facing each other and kiss. I was told to smile and enjoy myself. Ellie knew exactly what to do. She was running one hand up and down my body while the other caressed my hair. Gary told me to take her babydoll off and kiss her neck and make my way to her breasts and kiss and suck both her nipples. My hands were shaking as I removed her babydoll exposing her small pert breasts. I couldn't bring myself to move down to her breasts.
"Ahhhh." My body was convulsed in pain. I looked around. Gary was holding some kind of electric baton. He prodded me again. My body was rocked in agony. He bent down over me. "You're going to kiss and suck every piece of the fuck slave's body. You're going to be lovers. Refuse or hesitate again and I'm going to shove this up your cunt and fry you. Now get kissing and sucking those tits and do everything we tell you." He then prodded me again.When I recovered, Ellie put her arm around me and kissed me passionately on the mouth. Knowing what awaited me if I did nothing I returned her kiss. I ran my hand across her chest taking one of her breasts and massaging it. I broke away from our kiss and lowered my lips to her breasts taking her nipple in my mouth. She let out a sigh as I ran my tongue around her tip. I started to suck as she pressed my head against her breast. After a few minutes she moved my head to her other breast.I heard my husband tell me to slip my hand inside her thong and finger her pussy. I moved my hand down her stomach until I reached the waistband. I shuddered as I slipped my hand inside the thong and felt her slit. I lingered there, repulsed at the idea of going any further. Then I heard Gary slap the baton against the bed.I swallowed hard and moved my hand between her legs. Ellie spread them wide giving me full access to her vagina. I rubbed along her slit before I pushed a finger inside and moved it in and out. My husband told me to insert a second finger and quicken my pace. Ellie responded to my fingering, lifting her behind off the bed and meeting my thrusts. Gary focused a camera on her vagina. He had me remove her thong and push three fingers in her. She was now starting to pant hard.I was told to remove my clothes."Now get your head down between her legs and start licking her cunt." my husband said.I let out a cry. My worst fear was being realised. I froze looking at Ellie's vagina. She moved her hand down and spread her lips apart in anticipation. I still couldn't move. Then Gary came towards me with the baton. He turned to my husband and said "Grab her legs and spread them so I can fry her cunt."My husband grabbed my legs. I tried to kick out but he was too strong. I looked to Ellie for help but she was excited by the prospect and started to rub herself vigorously. My legs were spread and Gary shoved the baton inside me. His finger hovered over the power button. I begged him not to."I beg you don't do it. I'll lick her, I swear. Please don't do this."Gary started to fuck me with the baton. "What are you going to do slut.""I'll lick her vagina, just don't switch it on'"He shoved the baton further in, pushing it in and out as roughly as he could. "Say it properly slut. It's not a vagina, it's a cunt. And you're not just going to lick it, you're going to eat it. You're going to stick your tongue all the way up her cunt and give her a tongue fuck. Say it."I was trembling with the fear that he would switch the baton on. My vagina was being brutalised by the rough treatment it was getting. I couldn't take any more pain."I'm going to eat the fuck toys cunt and stick my tongue into her cunt and give her a tongue fuck." Gary and my husband smiled at each other. They had me get between her legs. My husband took one of the cameras so he could film real close. When I was in position Gary pushed the baton into my vagina. "Do it right or I'll fry you."I stuck my tongue out and licked along her slit. Gary started to direct me, telling me to increase my pace, having me suck her clitoris and insert my tongue. I tried to block out what was happening but Gary's constant instructions made me too aware of my predicament. Ellie started to respond, moaning and moving her hips. She grabbed my hair pulling my face right into her vagina while at the same time grinding herself on my tongue. I was forced to push my tongue in as far as it would go. After several minutes of my tongue work Ellie started to cum. I got my first taste of a woman cumming.When she finished I thought I could relax. However the men had other ideas. My husband handed his camera to Ellie and took off his clothes. He lay on the bed and told me to mount him. Ellie started filming us as I moved up and down on his cock. I then felt Gary get on the bed behind me. He pushed me forward on to my husband and positioned his cock against my ass."Noooooo......" I screamed and struggled to get up. My husband grabbed my two arms keeping me in place as Gary got into position. I let out an agonising scream as he pushed inside me. I now had two cocks inside me. In all my nightmares I had never envisaged this happening to me.

I heard my husband tell Ellie "Come here fuck slave and film her face. I want a souvenir of that pain in her eyes."By now the two of them were in rhythm fucking my two holes. My screams just seem to excite them more. Both their cocks were fully inside my vagina and ass. After what seemed like hours they started to cum. Finally Gary got up and my husband pushed me off him and got up off the bed. He took the camera from Ellie."Spread your legs slut." Ellie got between my legs and started licking the cum from my vagina. She pushed her tongue in as far as she could. When she cleaned it out she did the same to my asshole. My husband leaned down and said to me "It'll be your turn to do that to the fuck slave later."I cried as she continued to work her tongue up my ass. What had become of me. A few weeks ago I was a happily married wife and mother. Now I was just something my husband used and abused for his pleasure. My life was destroyed.

https://motherless.com/G8ACCD78

Yes,, I would take advantage of her predicament . ♂♀

A couple years ago, I met a doctor that specializes in the unique physiology of shit eating. He is gay and has been active in the scat scene for a long time. Almost all of his patients are shit eaters and he has a lot of experience with the problems that shit eaters' experience. He stays familiar with the pathogens that are going around in the area and what preventative treatments are needed. He offers a program for shit eaters that start with a variety of vaccines and a supply of prophylactic antibiotics, anti fungal and stuff for parasites and worms that you take before eating shit at scat parties from a lot of anonymous men during group sessions. The program includes regular checkups every 2 weeks to every 2 months for overall health, proper nutrition, checking for parasites and a list of other things.

I heard about him from another shit eater at a scat party I attended in West Hollywood and I was given his office number. When his office opened, I called and made an appointment to see him. On my first office visit with him, I thought I would make an impression and dressed very slutty in my scat party lingerie. I wore a very short tight light brown pleather skirt with a thin yellow belt over brown string bikini panties that had SCAT BOTTOM printed in bold pink letters across the butt. My skirt did not completely cover my panties and it was easy to read it. I always wear a tight silicone cock ring and balls stretcher that makes my 7-inch cock look bigger and it pushes my balls out so they are always easy to grab. With a soft cock, my scat bottom panties just barely cover my cock and balls. I went braless and wore a skimpy tight sheer yellow tube top over my 38DD boobs so they could bounce around and be seen very easily, the finishing touch was my SHIT EATING SLUT necklace.

The waiting room was crowded and everybody just stared at me when I walked in. There were a few guys, two girls, and one cute T-girl waiting to see the doctor. I checked in at the counter, then turned around and introduced myself to the group that was eyeballing me. I said "Hi I'm Kelly" and two guys said they knew me from some of the parties they went to so I started flirting with them. They were telling me how impressed they were when they watched me under the toilet chair at a scat party and they let everybody in the waiting room know all about my performance that they witnessed. When the nurse called one of them in to see the doctor he asked for my phone number and the other guy wanted it too. I told them I did not have any of my cards on me and asked if they had a pen. They did not but this cute petite blonde girl with huge boobs sitting next to them said she had a pen and handed it to me. After I gave my number to the two guys, the cute girl shyly asked if she could have my number too. I smiled and wrote my name and number on a piece of paper and underneath wrote, "You're hot! Call me for some hot dirty fun." When I gave her the paper, she looked at it then looked back at me and smiled and told me she would call me later that day to set it up. She was staring at my boobs and I asked her if she liked playing with big boobs and she said "oh for sure I do." She said she liked the way my boobs looked under the sheer tube top. I told her that she had bigger boobs than I did and she was much smaller than I was too. I sat down by her and we started talking about our shit eating experiences. She had a lot of experience eating big dumps from guys and she was so cute too. Hard to find beautiful girls that really get into eating and digesting big loads of shit. She told me that she had seen many of the professional scat vids that I did for Hardcore and she said I was her favorite shit eater. I asked her where she was staying and she said she just lost her apartment and was on the streets. I told her she could stay at my place if she wanted to but I would want to be fucking her a lot. She was okay with that then I told her about the young boys that hung out at my place. She asked how young is young? I told her they all have ID that says they are 18.
Then the door opened and the nurse called my name, when I walked behind the door the nurse gave me a look of disgust and told me she was glad I did not dress like a slut. I just smiled and said thank you. She led me to the exam room, handed me a gown to wear, and then told me that I probably did not need it since I was pretty much naked already. She told me the doctor was very busy but he would see me in a few minutes and walked out closing the door. I removed my tube top and skirt and sat on the edge of the table wearing just my bikini panties while I waited for the doctor. For some reason while I was sitting there, my cock became rock hard and my panties were so small they would not cover it when it was hard so it was sticking out the side of my panties and the balls stretcher I was wearing made my balls easy to see under my panties. The nurse popped back in and took my blood pressure and pulse without saying a word, when she finished she said the doctor would be right in and I'm sure I heard her whisper "what a slut" as she walk out the door. By the time the doctor walked in my hard cock had softened up and it was back under my panties.

When he walked in, I noticed his eyes went straight for my boobs before he looked at my face. The doctor asked me to describe my scat activities to him so he could have an idea which treatment I needed. I started to describe my activities in a very graphic detailed way while I watched the doctor's eyes keep glancing down at my boobs, which made my cock start growing. While I described the intimate details of my shit eating, I noticed his cock was also getting hard and it quickly got huge and was bulging out in his pants. By that time my cock was as hard as a rock too and it was sticking straight out of one side of my panties with my balls sticking out the other side. The doctor knew I could see his huge hard cock and I could tell he did not know what to say about it so I broke the silence and asked him if he would like me to eat his shit sometime. He smiled and went on with his interview and both of our cocks stayed hard the entire time. After a few minutes, he stopped and told me that he was sorry for being unprofessional but he could not get the visual picture out of his head of me eating his shit. He told me nobody had ever done that to him and he had to either end the exam and reschedule or we could just go for it and I could eat his shit right then and there. I told him I would love to do it for him and promised to not make any mess and keep it all in my mouth. He told me he would love to see me do that and hoped I was hungry because he had not shit that morning and his colon was full of shit for me to eat. I told him I was actually starving for exactly that and would devour all of it. He walked over and locked the door then took off his pants and opened a drawer and pulled out a big syringe and filled it full of water. He handed me the syringe and told me to put the water in his ass while I sucked on his hard huge cock and balls. I ended up filling his ass with three full syringes of water and sucked his cock for about 5 minutes while the water loosened up all the shit in his colon. I could hear his colon rumbling, it was building up pressure, and doctor told me to lie on the floor and get ready to swallow. I laid down on the floor, opened my mouth wide and watched his huge cock and big balls bouncing around over my face as he lowered his ass to my mouth. I started stroking his cock with both hands and he demanded that I keep my lips sealed tight around his ass and not allow any leakage. He told me the exam would be free if I did not let any out of my mouth and he did not want to smell it either. I had my lips pressed tight around his ass and moved my tongue to the side so the flow could go directly down my open throat. Then the deluge was released and it was blasting out like a fire hose. The doctor was not kidding when he said he had a lot for me to eat and it just kept flowing out as I was gulping his colon full of thick brown shit juice filled with gobs and gobs of heavy sticky turds down my throat like a hungry wolf. I even surprised myself by swallowing it all with just a little brown juice coming out at the corners of my mouth along with a small amount of shit juice that came out of my nose when I choked for a moment at the very end when a large gob of solid shit plugged up the entry to my throat, which is pretty normal when I swallow gushers like that. After he served the main course of my meal, I jacked him off while I kept sucking out the remaining packets of shit that kept exploding out of his ass for a few more minutes. After a few of the packets blasted out, he had a massive orgasm and completely covered my boobs with cum. While he shot his cum all over my boobs he blasted out another large amount of shit down my throat. I came right then too and blasted a big load of sperm over my belly and on my boobs. I started to clean his ass up with my tongue but he told not to bother, grabbed my tube top, and wiped his ass with it. Then he stood up and washed his shit down my throat with a long hard piss. He got dressed and handed me my tube top to put on. I slipped the skimpy sheer top over my boobs and it was covered with shit from wiping his ass with it. He said I looked good with the top stained like that and he continued the exam like nothing happened. At the end of the exam he mentioned that he had me fill his ass with the water to see if I was telling the truth about my abilities and he was very surprised that I swallowed it all. Before I left, he wrote his personal number on the back of his business card and handed it to me. He said he would love to take me out to dinner and if I spent the night he would have a big breakfast meal for me to eat. I told him I was very attracted to him and would love to have dinner and I was available that evening to spend the night with him. He said that was perfect and he asked if I was submissive. I told him very submissive and would love to be treated as his slave. He said I was exactly what he has been searching for a long time. He told me he was into the gay BDSM scene as a Dom and had posts on craigslist and ads in various gay publications looking for a submissive Tranny that was into BDSM and heavy scat play. He said he did not have any success finding anybody that had a look that got his cock hard until he met me.

The doctor asked me what my limits were. I told him it depends on the relationship I have with a Dominate man. I said when I am in a serious Master/slave relationship I had absolutely no limits to the point that I was willing to die for a Master's pleasure. He looked surprised I said that and I added that I never expected that to happen but if for some reason it became necessary I would never deny Master that use of me after I agreed to it. I reminded him that I had only agreed to that in two serious Master/slave relationships that required full control of every aspect of my life. I told him it certainly would not apply to causal dating and BDSM sessions. In those circumstances, I would prefer to not end up in the hospital when it was over. The doctor told me he was very surprised that I was willing to die for a Master. He heard stories of slave agreements like that but did not think it was true. He told me he would definitely enjoy using me in some very disgusting and sadistic ways. He said it would be a very interesting experience to be with a submissive willing to let things get to the level that I just described. I told him he did not seem like the type of man with a sadistic mindset and it excited me that he would like to explore that with me. He said I would be very surprised with all the sadistic fantasies he wanted to explore with me. He was excited about using me without limits and he was very impressed by my looks and attitude. He told me I really made his cock hard and gave him a very hard orgasm, and added that he had never considered the aspect of using a subs life but he often fantasized about getting close to that point and bringing the sub back to life. I told him that I could see myself becoming very intimate with him and we could explore that at some point. The doctor walked over to me pulled down my tube top, cupped my breast with his hand and pinched my big nipple and he kissed me passionately. After we kissed, he told me he would love to become very intimate with me. I kissed him back and told him I would love that very much Sir. We ended our talk with him telling me to show up at his place wearing some slutty leather BDSM lingerie under an elegant evening gown and that he had a fully equipped underground dungeon that I would be very impressed with.

When I got home I did not know if I should be scared or excited with the possibilities that might happen that night. I prepared myself in every detail to look the best I could for him and got my head in the proper perspective for a night of sadistic painful torture and I was sure he was going to enjoy beating the fuck out of me. When I thought about that my cock got rock hard and I started thinking about all the ways he might want to beat me. I started shaking in fear about him getting carried away and possibly end up going all the way with it. Part of me said let him but the other part said wait until he becomes my Master.

The doctor sent a beautiful big limo to my place to pick me up early that evening. I was wearing a sheer black elegant evening gown and wore a 1/4 cup purple and black bra that displayed my big boobs and hard nipples in a sexy but elegant way. The limo driver knocked on the door and I invited him in for a moment and introduced him to my cute 18 year old lover, Ellen that was in the front room playing video games with two cute boys. Ellen is a very cute and petite Fem Boi that is hung like a horse. She came over, shook his hand, and told him she was glad to meet him. He told her she was very pretty and then escorted me from my door to the limo and complimented me on how sexy I looked. I asked him how well he knew the doctor and he said he was the only driver the doctor used and they were personal friends. He helped me in the back door of the limo and as we drove I asked him if he was by chance gay and played around with the doctor. He hesitated for a moment not knowing what to say and I told him I knew all about the doctor's personal life and he sort of loosened up and told me that yes he was gay and played around with the doctor. I said and scat too? He said of course he did scat with the doctor and that was what the doctor was mostly interested in. I asked him about the doctor's dungeon and the driver told me it had many types of torture devices and bondage equipment. It had an area set up just for scat, which was used quite a lot. I asked him why it was underground and the driver said probably so the screams would not be heard. I asked Screams? He did not say anything for a few minutes then said he was sorry but he could not talk about the things that went on there.

The driver then told me he was surprised that the doctor was having a lady over since he was usually picking up young teen boys for the doctor. I laughed a bit and told him that I was a lady but I also had what the doctor liked. I slipped my panties to the side and exposed my hard cock, which had been hard the entire time I was getting ready for the doctor. The driver looked back over his shoulder and saw my hard cock and he could not believe what he saw. He said he had no idea that I had a cock and that was incredibly hot. I told the driver I was also into the young cute boys, especially the boys into scat. I told him the cute girl he met at my place was a submissive fem boi that just turned 18 and moved in with me. The driver said to me "you are kidding me? Right? That cute little girl has a cock? I thought she was your daughter or niece something like that." I told him yes she has a cock and she is my girlfriend and is very much into the scat scene and so are the cute boys you saw hanging out with her.

The driver told me the thought of Ellen and those cute boys eating shit just got his cock rock hard and he apologized but he needed to stop and jack off to get his cock down. I told him I would normally offer to suck him off but I could not do that since it would ruin my make up, then I told him he could fuck me if he wanted to. He liked that idea and quickly parked the limo and jumped in back with me and I quickly got my panties off and put my ass in the air for him fuck. His cock was nice and big and he got in me right away and started pounding my ass hard with his heavy balls slamming hard against my balls as he bottomed out in me. I started talking dirty to him about how nasty the boys at my place got when they were eating shit. He instantly had a huge cum blasting orgasm in me and shot a huge load of cum in my ass. He filled my hole full of cum and his huge thick cock had opened me up so much I could not close my hole to keep his cum from dripping out of my ass as I put my panties back on. I did not know what the doc would say about my cum soaked panties but I assumed he knew I was a slut and could not pass up a hard dick to play with.

When we got to the doctors place I was amazed by the size of the estate. The place was completely hidden from the road and from any neighbors with a tall security fence around the estate. When the limo pulled up to the front door a cute boy came out, opened the limo door and very politely invited me inside. The boy complimented me on how I looked and told me the doctor would be very pleased with me. When I walked in the main room it was decorated in a medieval type of setting, with wrought iron staircase and furniture. The boy told me to make myself at home and he wandered off. I walked around and checked out the authentic medieval antiques that the doctor was collecting. I did not know what some the devices were but they seemed to be used for some type of sexual torture or chastity. My cock was hard, tingling thinking about what the doctor was really like, and what possible latent sadistic things he planned to use me for.
The doctor walked in and I stood there for him to check out. He had me do a 360 and then told me I looked fabulous and just perfect for the night of fun. He had in his hand a leash and collar and told me he needed to put it on me and he had a script written in Latin for me to agree to and sign. He said we could dispense with the dinner and get things started if that was okay with me. I agreed with him and told him I was excited to get things started. After he put the collar and leash on me, I got on my knees before him, handed him the leash, and begged him to use me as he desired. He slapped my face hard on both sides and asked if I was ready to be put in my place as his slave. I responded Yes Sir please use me as you desire. That made him smile and he snapped his fingers and had two young boys come over and remove my evening gown. I stood there in my leather BDSM outfit and he noticed the cum on my panties. He asked me if the limo driver fucked me and I was hesitant to say anything not wanting to get the driver in trouble. He then slapped me hard over and over and told me he would not stand for this type of insubordination he demanded that I tell him the truth. I quietly told him yes the driver fucked me but it was my idea. He said that he was disgusted that I asked his driver to fuck me before he did. I told him I figured he knew I was a slut and got fucked a lot. The doctor said it was not a problem for him but it was definitely and problem for me now and he asked me what punishment I deserved. I did not know what to say and told him that it was not up to me to make any decisions about those things. He grabbed me by my collar and twisted it until I could not breathe and told me he didn't ask me to decide how he would punish me just what I thought I deserved. He began to slap me very hard and said to answer him. I calmly told him he probably should beat me for doing that. He asked me to what degree? I said I was not sure but I did not think I would deserve a death sentence for it. He said, "Oh you don't do you, well what if I feel you deserve death for that serious mistake you made. I looked at the ground and told him then I guess that is what I must deal with." He asked me "so are you giving me that option right now? I started crying as I told him I did not want him to do that but I felt that he probably should have that option. He slapped me again and told me that was not a specific answer, he demanded that I answered yes or no if I gave him the option to snuff me as his pleased. . I dropped to my knees and started crying like a child, I apologized repeatedly for being a slut, and then finally I looked up at him and said yes Sir I want you to have the option to snuff me any way you please. He twisted my collar again and asked me if I wanted him to do that to me now and to look him in his eyes when I give him my answer. . I looked up at him in his eyes, began to cry even more, and shook as I told him Yes Sir I am so sorry for being so disrespectful to you and asking your driver to fuck me. I deserve to be immediately disposed of, and I beg you to do it. . Both of our cocks got rock hard when I said that and he told me he was glad that I wanted him to do that. He told me he would hold that offer in abeyance but it would not happen that night.

I thanked him for his mercy and he told me that I did not need thank him. He then called the boys and told them to escort me to the dungeon and secure me under the toilet. He told them they could both shit and piss in my mouth all they wanted and they could smack me around all they wanted too. The boys pulled my hands behind my back and handcuffed my wrists. They both went and got electric cattle prods and took turns shocking me on my ass and boobs as they lead me to a hidden door to the dungeon. The door opened and an elevator was behind the door that took us down to the dungeon. Before we got out of the elevator the boys took turns jamming the cattle prod on my balls repeatedly, electrocuted my balls until I was screaming in pain, and begging them to stop. They told me they did not need to stop but they would this time.

Then they gave me a tour of the dungeon. It was decorated in the same medieval decor as the main room. But this place was lit with burning lanterns and had rings on the wall to secure people to, there was a whipping post and a rack. There were a few stocks to secure the head and arms in with various things behind them for either whipping or fucking. Then we came to something that made me freeze in fear, it was a real guillotine with a very sharp and shining blade on it. I asked the boys if it was used much and they answered it was just one of the antiques the doctor collected and it was just for show. They never knew of it being used but it could be since it worked perfectly. They said the doctor had called them from work that day and told them to get it cleaned up and oiled properly. They told me they had just finished getting it dialed in when I showed up. They walked me over to it and showed me how everything worked. There was a sliding board that the person was laid on and tied to and the board was slid forward and stopped with the head by the wooden stocks that automatically dropped around the neck when the board hit the stops. They demonstrated that to me and then pulled the rope and the blade came down quickly. Then they saw that my cock was rock hard and they asked me if that turned me on. I told them it is weird and I cannot explain why but yes it does turn me on.

Right at that time the Doctor walked in and saw me standing by the guillotine with my cock rock hard. The doctor reminded me that nothing like that was not going to happen so do not get your hopes up. You will be getting a severe beating which will start right now. He told the boys to take this filthy shit eating bitch to the toilet and fill her full of your shit and piss down her shit filled throat right now. I want her full of shit before I beat the fuck out of this disgusting shit eating whore. The doctor walked over to me and slapped my face very hard. Then he told me, "Oh you think you are so cute with your big boobs and sassy attitude" He slapped me again even harder, "I promise you will be begging for the guillotine long before I finish torturing you in some very sadistic ways, and I can assure you that killing you is not one of them, at least not until we have some spectators to watch. Do you understand that, bitch?" I said yes Sir I do. The doctor told the boys, "tie this bitch under the toilet, and don't be nice about it.

The boys took the cattle prods and started to fry my balls with them until I fell to my knees. Then they dragged me to the toilet chair started to secure me to it. My head was placed in a clamping device that held my head firmly in place with foam plates that tightened against the sides of my head; my mouth was held open by some coated hooks on my teeth. My wrists were secured to the back of the chair and my legs were secured behind my shoulders, there was a sloped foam device place under my ass to hold my asshole in place for easy fucking. One of the boys started fucking my ass while the doctor gave me my first load of shit to swallow, when he finished the other boy sat down on my mouth and started to shit. He had filled up with a piss enema while the doctor shit down my throat. His enema was massive and full of shit, he told me he had not shit for a couple days and it felt great to have me suck it out of him. He just keep shitting and shitting for almost an hour before he felt cleaned out. Before he traded places with the other boy he stuck his cock in the other boy's ass and filled him up with piss. Then he started fucking me while the boy lowered his piss filled ass to my mouth with brown piss dripping out. As the boy lowered his dripping ass to my mouth, he told me to expect a massive amount to very raunchy shit to eat and it will be like diarrhea since he caught some parasites and worms at the last scat party they had there. He hoped I did not mind him giving them to me. I did not have time to say a word before his asshole pressed down hard on my open mouth. I stuck my tongue inside his ass and mumbled to give me his filthy shit to eat. He yelled at me "eat my worm and parasite infested shit you filthy whore and you better get sick from it." I was tongue fucking his ass and begging for his filth in me and when it just started to gush out, It smelled and tasted utterly disgusting and I could tell it was full of clumps of worms and other parasites, I was gulping it all down and towards the end he pushed out some big clumps of some foul tasting parasites that I could feel moving around as they went down my throat and they kept moving around in my belly. The boy asked me how I liked it and I said it was perfect and asked for more. He told me he was a bit put off that I liked it because he would have beaten me if I said anything else. After the second boy finished I was filled up and my belly was full of shit and protruding out as if I was 5 months pregnant.

Then the doctor came back and saw that I was properly filled full with shit for him to begin torturing me. He had the boys untie from the toilet and they tied my balls up tightly to make them protrude out and be under pressure from the rope wrapped between my balls and cock. A foot long probe that was 3 inches thick with wires attached to it was shoved in my ass and secured in place with a harness, another probe with wires on it was pushed in my piss hole and it was secured in place with a small harness. A long and thick hollow dildo was stuffed down my throat and secured with a harness around my head to keep me quiet and it also had wires attached to it. Then they grabbed my balls and I watched as they clamped a metal balls stretcher between my cock and balls with wires attached to it. They told me they were going to electrocute me like that and it would most likely fry my balls until they sizzled like bacon. Then they took me to a rope that hung from the ceiling. My wrist cuffs were attached to the rope and it was pulled it up until I was on my toes. Then a real noose was placed around my neck and it was pulled up until I could just breathe. The wires were connected to a control box and the boys waited for doc to tell them what to do.

The doctor came over with a leather strap, ran it across my face, and told me he was really going to enjoy fucking me up good that night. He asked me if I wanted to be beaten to a pulp and I nodded yes. He replied, "That is very good and you will get what you want". Then he started to take the leather strap to my balls in a wicked way and told the boys to turn on the control box and the electric charge went started electrocuting my cock ass, balls, and it was excruciatingly painful. Then it started pulsing with a high energy that made me jerk around in a violent way. The boys laughed at how it affected me and kept turning the power up real high then back down. The doctor kept smashing my balls with the strap until I could not feel them anymore. The doctor said "you want your balls sliced off don't you bitch?" I did not do anything and he kicked my balls hard and said, "You better answer me, you want to be castrated don't you?" I nodded yes. The doctor said "good girl I will have them cooked in a shit filled omelet for your breakfast in the morning." then he started beating my body and pulled the noose up tighter until I was choking and barely able to breathe. My cock ass and balls were starting to get very hot as the electric current was starting to barbecue them. I truly thought he planned to kill me like this and after a couple hours, I did not think I would last much longer and started begging to be slaughtered. Just before I blacked out, I thought it was over and that was it for me.

I woke up early in the morning tied to a table with a fuck machine ramming a huge 3 inch thick dildo in my ass with a full 10 inch stroke. The machine was ramming it in me at a furious rate, cycling a couple times a second. Each stroke was lifting my body up tossing me violently around. The dildo was covered in my shit that was getting flung all over the place and there were piles of shit on my boobs and belly that other guys had left on me while I was out. I just laid there and my ass got fucked by that huge dildo for at least an hour before one of the boys showed up. He said the doctor was at work and they had control over me now. They told me that they have made about a hundred calls to guys to ask them come over and shit down my throat. They expected the first guy any minute. They stopped the fuck machine and untied me from the table then tied me under the toilet chair again and this time they brought over the fuck machine and replaced the dildo with a much larger one. The dildo was 3 1/2 inches thick and the stroke was increased another inch to a full 11 inches. They lined it up with asshole and rammed the dildo in me. When they turned in on it was lifting my body up and thrashing me like a rag doll. Just then the first guys showed up and shit down my throat, while they were shitting, I heard more and more guys talking and laughing about my predicament. The fuck machine was thrashing me so hard that it was hard to swallow all the shit from my guts getting pushed into my stomach from that monster dildo slamming into me. About 15 guys had shown up to take part in the ordeal. I could not eat all that shit so they just kept piling it up on my face until I was choking on it.

I could still feel those things moving around in my gut and they felt like they were getting bigger as they fed on me. The boy that gave it to me was ready to give me another load of his parasite infected shit but he wanted me to beg for it first. I begged him to give it to me and give me his filthy shit right down my shit eating throat. He sat down and blasted out another filthy load of loose shit down my throat. It was still filled with worms and other things and I just gulped it down, as a shit eater should. After he finished they untied me and told me to get dressed without cleaning up. Then they took me to the front of the building and the same limo driver picked me up. I was a total mess with welts all over me and covered in think lumps of shit and some was dried on me. He laughed when he saw me and asked me if the doctor found out he fucked me. I told he did right away and beat the fuck out of me for that. The driver said the doctor was going to beat the fuck out of me anyways so it didn't really matter too much did it?

The driver told me he would like to fuck me again after I was cleaned up if that was ok with me. I told him sure. When we got to my place I invited him in and introduced him too Ellen and the cute teen boys that were there having sex. I went and got cleaned up and when I came out he had Ellen and the boys lined up on the floor with their assholes in the air for him to fuck like musical chairs. When he saw me he told me he had already cum a couple of times and doubted he could cum again, but he still had his morning dump in him and he would love to put it down my throat. I got under our toilet chair and he sat down and gave me some long thick raunchy tasting turds to eat and finished with a blast of loose chunky shit that blasted all over my face. He got up and had one of the boys lick his ass clean and left. I saw the doctor again at his office but he never mentioned that night again and I did not bring it up either.

I confess this situation turns me on like nothing else. I feel so depraved imagining my female friends in this predicament. Ever since I first had fantasies, underwater has been my biggest turn-on. The ugliest woman can get me hard if I imagine her like this: trapped underwater at my mercy, slowly bubbling out her stale air.

Anyone in Mid Michigan, in or near Roscommon County a Dom. That seeks a Slave to use and degrade? I love to experience new things at least twice even if I think I wont like them. I seek a Strict Dom Male, Female, Trans or even a Lesbian solo/couple. Open to many things including Rough Play, Predicament bondage, Degradation and humiliation and more.

Haven't had any play or action in over 7yrs, Would love to find someone for Regular session and also open to a Long Term Relationship.

Beyond the Horizon

Part 1

One of the lessons you learn after years of driving is that at some point or another, you’re going to experience the pain of repetition and predictability. Even when I first started off on the journey, I never had a destination in mind. It’s like as soon as I sat down and closed the door, it was getting hazy. It’s apparent to me now that from the moment I turned that old key and fired her up I was totally unsure of to exactly where I thought I was going. Driving is one of my greatest pleasures. There’s a sincere innocence in the act of driving. I lost sight of much of that, and from time to time I wasn’t sure if I was even in control. From a certain perspective the relationship between the machine and it’s controller breaks down, and it can become objectively difficult to distinguish which is driven by which.

To be fair, the warning signs were all over the place. It felt like I couldn’t go more than ten seconds without some sign, a precaution, a rule, a rule of thumb, a word of advice whispered in confidence. I always did my best to be a responsible driver. For the longest time I did my best to obey all the rules of the road, back before I knew better, or perhaps until I thought I knew better. Experience is the greatest teacher, not to mention the harshest. It’s common knowledge that to learn from experience makes even the worst decisions worthwhile. Sometimes it’s simply the only thing that one can take away from the curveballs so often thrown one’s way. The problem for the unwise lies in working out what lesson the accused is to take away from his crime. For the introspective the problem is rarely not seeing the problem at hand. They can even take precautions to make sure that one accident is never repeated, by not repeating whatever lead to disaster the first time around. For the experienced, and by that I mean the scarred, the disfigured, those drivers who possibly still hurt every waking day of their lives, there are an entirely different set of problems, regardless of their ability to learn from past experiences. The problem faced by the salty, by the ones who well and truly drove around that block more than they care to admit, is the inability to disengage from what they think they know best, and in doing so they find themselves sat exactly where they were before they even released the handbrake. One cannot escape his past, cannot escape the stupid things they did. But to make matters worse, they begin to see that so many of the reflective, glaring, fluorescent signs they are bombarded with as they hit the highway begin to contradict each other. They blur, they all look the same, sound the same. It seems impossible to follow one highway code without breaking another. At first, one particularly thoughtful individual might find, there seemed to be one over-arching Way. The irrefutable Tao of the road. The one true way. I miss that idea. I’ve reached a point where no matter how hard I try and see things as I used to, either I changed, or the rules did.

And so those rare unfortunates may find the signs begin to undermine each other. Slow down, but speed up. Be cautious, but never so more than you’re being brazen. Make sure to flaunt every last thing you have and haven’t ever done, because nobody likes It when you brag. And so experience fails you. It begins to lie to you, and even when you’re aware that there is clearly deception afoot, you become a man looking at a map with no reference as to where in the fuck they actually are. It’s at this point in my career as a driver that I also realised that for all the years I had been driving, I could not remember where I was going. I knew that I had been driving for a very long time, and I think at certain points I had stopped off at places, and I still remember the people I picked up. Some of them drove with me for the longest time. I always liked having passengers, but sooner or later, the destination is reached, and the journey has come to an end. But I digress. At a certain point, I found myself lost. It was the worst kind of lost, in that not only did I not know at all where and when I was, but in that I had totally forgotten where I had originally intended to go. I could not even remember at what point I had forgotten everything about myself. All I knew was in looking in the mirror, I was sure I didn’t recognise myself. I could not even describe the person who stared back at me. The Driver was a man about which you could say so much, but I’m quite certain that none of the obvious things you could gleam from that countenance were objectively correct. Nothing I’ve ever experienced has been quite so simple as that. First impressions are hard to resist, however. In a way it didn’t matter that I’m sure in some ways I recognised the Driver’s face, because from the moment I met his eyes with mine, I knew he’d always be a simple mystery to me, destined to be my enemy, the one who knew me the best.

He had the look of the man who has learned from experience as he lit that cigarette. The glow from the lighter revealed a face older and more weathered than I’m sure my own face was. He looked bad. I was certain he didn’t have the slightest good intention in mind for me, and yet everything in his eyes and in the tone of his voice struck me as sincere and well meaning. He spoke to me as if he knew me. We’re on the road now aren’t we? I’ve always loved these warm nights, the heady smell in the air. He grinned, and his eyes lit up. I suddenly felt thirsty. Thirstier than I’ve ever felt in my life. There was adrenaline coursing through my body now, and most of my worry had suddenly receded. As he rolled down the window, an old and child-like excitement crossed his face, as a child who is told on Christmas day that the best present has been saved to last. What does it even matter where we’re going? The pleasure’s in the driving. It’s also in the uncertainty. We passed a strange scene by the side of that long road. This struck me because until now it had all been so blank. There was a cow being led down the road by two men, one in front, and one following up from behind. We passed so quickly that the image struck me as an old black and white picture would have, fixed in my mind without the suggestion of fading. It was like some grim scene from a foreign abattoir, and I felt my spirit drop, knowing where the cow’s destination lay despite all his ignorance. He looked complacent if not slightly confused as to his predicament, being lead by his handlers as he was. For some unknown reason, I honestly felt very sad for him. Then I laughed. Fucker should have evolved faster. I couldn’t but help show the slightest disapproval, even if deep down something in me knew it was true. It would be pretty much the same if the boot was on the other foot. Or hoof. You get my drift. I laughed again, and I wasn’t sure if it was humour or desperation I heard in that laugh. It sounded strange to me, but laughs always sound strange when you really listen to them. Everyone knows what a laugh means, but that shit can’t be found in any dictionary I ever heard of.