Boards - random - Dan and I have been fighting for the past while. I realized its not Dan's fault that I need to find

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19 Sep 2014 9:37PM

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Dan and I have been fighting for the past while. I realized its not Dan's fault that I need to find or conquer him with my ideas or expectations of him. I see now that my problem with him is my idea that I have been clinging to, believing it's the only right thing.What is freedom in our relationship?We are either going to show each other that we love each other or we are not. I've been to preoccupied about my partners 'loyalty' and the expectations we've been holding each other to. We don't own each other is the bottom line. We can't ever expect to say "YOU CANNOT" without creating some kind of repressed resentment in it's way. Surely you know the feeling of wanting to rebel because "I cannot" is like a prison that you want to escape from. If you get this then maybe you can understand what I decided later on. We want to be having fun and loving each other. No worries about who is trying to dominate the other. Instead I now give him his freedom from now on and he releases me from his expectations as well. Let him make his decisions and if you love him then stand by him because if he loves you, he might turn tail and realize that what he wanted isn't what he wants after all. I'll be happy with me, I'll live my life, I'll wait and see what our love is in complete freedom to our independence. Even if I think I know how it'll go for him, think I do, maybe I don't. If I'm patient and I really love him, he'll come back to me and I won't need to say what did you learn, or can we make rules, because he'll know in his heart what he wants and I'll know in mine that I'm strong and beautiful and worthy of love with or without him. Because love isn't something you should suffocate with rules then it isn't something that needs a ball and chain.