Well this is proably not the right place to write this, but way back in the Vietnam war I killed a whole lot of people. Now they were the "enemy" but in reality they didnt want to be there any more then I did. Anyway I can no longer handle the extreme guilt I have felt over the years. I have no idea what to do but I swear the visions of those people is driving or already has already driven me out of my mind. I fear what I may well do next.
Replies 45
1
21 Feb 2010 10:52PM
OMG U KILLED PEOPLE WTF MAN UR SO BAD JUST GO KILL URSELF
SCUM
1
21 Feb 2010 11:11PM
You have no call to make such comments.
Yet, the millions of us that did serve and are still serving in OUR Country's Military preserves your right to say such things.
Yet,you should have been taught better while you were still a young child.
Still,, in my eyes,,YOU are scum.
1
22 Feb 2010 3:22AM
fuck you bitch,inless you been to war and had to decide kill or be killed you got no right to open your fucking mouth. to the poster i feel your pain.iv killed in iraq and afgan and there is no such thing as an unwounded soidier in war.every one of us comes home hurt in some war,in body or in mind. im not gona say forget it and get on with your life cos i know it ant that easy,what i will say is you ant a bad man for taking life when at war.oh and im a brit and fucking proud of it.
1
21 Apr 2012 2:15PM
Then don't go to war fuck face. I've never killed anyone because i wasn't stupid enough to get a job where murder is what you do. To the OP, im sure the people of that shitty country feel way worse then you. But in OPs defense at least he was legally bound to go. The douches who went to iraq are just fucking morons. Ya its just like a video game!! Fuck off and die.
1
22 Feb 2010 3:36AM
hey man i feel your pain.iv killed in iraq and afghan and believe me there is so such thing as an unwounded soldier.every one that comes home is hurt in some way,in body or in mind.iv felt pain every time iv taken a life and felt pain when iv seen a friend die.it ant easy.im still serving and home on R@R but im scared if im gona be able to cope with this shit in my head for the next 60 years.killing in war is not like killing on the streets at home,it dont mean your a bad person. im 2 PARA and we are hard fuckers but ask any of us in private if we have bad dreams at night and the ansa will be yes.im mates with alot af SAS as we work side by side and they will tell you the same.we call it the badlands. oh and i am fucking proud to be british. live with those thoughts mate,they mean you still have a soul even after all the shit you been through.they show you ant forgot how important life is and that you didnt take life for the fun of it but becouse you had no choice. soldier to soldier the world over knows how you feel. you ant alone.
1
21 Feb 2010 10:59PM
to the one that said "go kill yourself" fuck of!!!!
this person did what they had to do to survive, your probly a loser liberal.
Sir, there are many support groups in your are I am sure of that. and they would be more than willing to help. go to your local V.F.W or American Legion.
1
21 Feb 2010 11:08PM
Your were doing what you were ordered to do. You were a Soldier then, you did your duty at that time.
No need to go through this on your own. Contact the VFW or the American Legion for help to deal with this.
I am a US Navy Vet. I too did my duty. There were things I had trouble dealing with,yet I sought help and was able to handle things better.
Best of luck to you, my friend.
1
21 Feb 2010 11:13PM
OMG, you're a typical irresponsible ass who wouldn't know how to respect someone or give of yourself to serve your country to save your life. YOU are the type who should kill themselves from the shame you are obviously UNable to feel. As for OP, shit happens brother... you were doing your duty, as were they, I know it's tough but, you did NOTHING wrong. Oooh Rah for giving of yourself (so much more than others who never serve anyone but themselves would know) and serving your country when called upon! The politics aren't your doing... your patriotism is! God Bless...
1
21 Feb 2010 11:15PM
I have tried the therapy route. They say all is forgivened but I can not forgive myself. I still see the faces of each and every one. I fear I may well be beyond saving. sorry to whine about this shit after al these years but the Genie has escaped the bottle yet again.
1
21 Feb 2010 11:36PM
Kneel and turn it all over to God. Let Him know that you can not handle this any more on your own.
Allow Him to take it all off of your shoulders and off of your mind. Drugs and alcohol is not the answer. God is the one to turn it all over to.
1
21 Feb 2010 11:23PM
dont do anything that could put your life in danger you did what you had to do and theres nothing else about it just find some help and youll be fine call 911 if anything they will help you or go to google and type ptsd help groups or type ptsd
hotline
1
21 Feb 2010 11:23PM
Embrace the genie brother... don't fight it. It happened, you can regret it and ask their souls for forgiveness... they'll understand, believe me... I've gone through the same. War is hell and only those who've expereinced it can comprehend the utter depth of responsibility and plight that goes with it. You're ok...
1
22 Feb 2010 12:05AM
Stop being such a pussy. I've killed my share in this current war and seen friends blow up. I got help from counselors and drove on. What, did you serve you one daft tour? I've been over 3 times with the mission to kick in doors and shoot people in the face. I swear, the Vietnam Vets are the biggest group of whiny bitches I have ever met. Get help, stop your bitching.
1
22 Feb 2010 12:30AM
Yeah you big fucking hero. Did you fucking cell phone lose reception when you were talking to your family every day? Didnt ya hate it when your fucking e-mails and text messages wouldnt go through. How about the fucking heros welcome ya got as soon as ya got back? In 1968 there was no suck thing as PTSD so was pretty fucking hard to get the help you so readily talk about.
LEAVE THE FUCKING GUY ALONE OR HELP HIM WITH HIS DEMONS YOU PIECE OF SHIT!!
1
28 Feb 2010 12:49AM
Thanks for the history lesson. Have you ever been to a COP in the middle of fucking nowhere? No email, no cell phone, no shower, no electricity. Go fuck yourself. Also three years asshole, not just one year of a draftee tour. The point I was making is that times have changed, there is help available.(Hell, I got tons of help.) He can go get it now, not come on some fucking internet board on a sex site and blubber like a bitch to people who don't give a shit. A real man would see his weakness and fix it, not just bitch about it.
1
22 Feb 2010 3:41AM
there is no way have you ever been to war.any soldier who has would never say the shit you say as we know the pain it couses. you are a wanker.
1
22 Feb 2010 12:15AM
i did 2 years in the mid east with the 1st marine div. so i know what your going through. Sound like you have been dwelling on this shit for far to long seek help it is out there. I know at the time ppl really didnt give a shit about a Vietnam vet but times have changed..To the guy above me it was a different time different place everyone has his breaking point you cant compare are war to his....
1
22 Feb 2010 12:18AM
To the guy who posted last: The Vietnam war was 100x worse than any other war the U.S was in. All the shit they seen by normal people and young children really hurts when you have been taught to kill people at such a young age and be drafted. How dare you disrespect the Vietnam Vets by calling them "whiny bitches" Most of them didnt want to be there
1
22 Feb 2010 12:31AM
US Army vet here. I have an uncle who was a 11Bravo in Vietnam. He has talked to me about it just once. Above poster is right, different war, different time. Life is cheap and those gooks cheapen it even more. When a village sets a grenade trap under a live baby and you watch your buddy turn into a crimson spray then yeah, that makes you want to kill every man, woman and child in the village that was resposible. But if your LT commands you to start wiping out every village in the area then maybe you should just shoot him in the head before any more of his orders get your platoon killed. War is the only thing that will bring out the real personality in men. That mousy, soft-spoken private can end up being your best soldier while the loud, tough brute may get a knife across his throat because the idiot is about to reveal your position. In war, you must do what you have to do in order to survive, don't feel guilty.
1
22 Feb 2010 12:42AM
Gooks are Gooks, Eat or be Eaten, Kill or be killed. Semper Fi do or die. Just be glad you made it back and don't ever think that the fucking gooks weren't trying to kill you. You didn't have a choice and served your country. U.S.M.C.
1
22 Feb 2010 12:47AM
Marine sniper:
You can run but you will just die tired
A oldy but a goodie Semper fi mac
Call you vetern service officer and get so help you have hurt more then enough.
PEACE BROTHER
1
22 Feb 2010 12:54AM
op if you get this add me [email protected] i will be a freind if you need one and maybe more if you want 24 f cali look me up 23_f_cali_mommy one here i love solders my hubby is one i will do any thing for an army man.
1
22 Feb 2010 1:09AM
I'm a Vietnam Vet too. I did 2 tours as a door gunner on a eggbeater. I watched as my bullets blew up heads and cut bodies in half. It was kill or be killed. I now live in SoCal in little Siagon. When a Vietnamese finds out I was in the war they thank me. I get free beers at the bar from the old timers. Its funny how the kids have never been to Nam and think of themselfs as Americans. And yeah I fuck a lot of Viet girls. I even married one for awhile. My first 10 fucks was Viet hookers over there.
1
22 Feb 2010 1:16AM
I hope you kill yourself.
fuck the armed forces,fucking yankees enjoy being a tool
for your masters.
1
22 Feb 2010 1:27AM
I will not say all Brits are idiots. Special Air Service is an extrodinary group, and most Brits have a ridiculous good sense of humor. I am assuming that you come from the UK and if that is so you shame yourself and your great country. I will not kill myself, thank you very much, I will keep my .45, SPAS 12, .308 and all my other guns because my brothers and sisters died for my rights, not turned into pussies and gave into a tyrannical government.
1
22 Feb 2010 1:29AM
I'm a Vietnam Vet too. I did 2 tours as a door gunner on a eggbeater. I watched as my bullets blew up heads and cut bodies in half. It was kill or be killed. I now live in SoCal in little Siagon. When a Vietnamese finds out I was in the war they thank me. I get free beers at the bar from the old timers. Its funny how the kids have never been to Nam and think of themselfs as Americans. And yeah I fuck a lot of Viet girls. I even married one for awhile. My first 10 fucks was Viet hookers over there.
Yep,I know what it's like to lay down a nice pattern!!! The gook bitches on the other hand know how to fuck and are tight. :)
1
22 Feb 2010 1:43AM
a .50 cal and a mk19 side by side cause so much damage..
1
22 Feb 2010 3:18AM
fuck u to the guy above me and all of the other people who talk shit about the armed forces
1
22 Feb 2010 7:51AM
Anything repressed gains strength. I'm thinking the guided process of therapies that release suppressed memories and link them up prove effective in gradually tearing the power away from the past. I went through experiential role-playing therapy. Started unlocking things. The level of physical pain alone that disappeared gradually was astounding. I do end up having to accept, surrender, and let the memories flow freely whenever they occur. Pushing them down distorts me.
Things were what they were. I didn't always behave the best. I keep finding the bad things in my hands, asking forgiveness, and putting them down. They don't jump up as fast any more.
Good luck. Thank you.
1
22 Feb 2010 10:25AM
thats like saying a guy working at mcdonalds shuld loose sleep at night because he serves food thats making ppl fatasses, it was a job ,you were a soldier , there is no reason to feel guilty now over somthing that cannot ever be changed , forgive yourself and move on, suidcide is for cowards fucking pussies dont go that route have some self respect.
1
22 Feb 2010 6:59PM
It's sad that humans can't live in peace, humans with power will abuse it if they can, and their personal wars from their self made religions.
Peace will never happen, as long as humans rule the earth.
1
01 Mar 2010 6:07PM
Hey now don't dis the liberals. I'm a liberal and I totally respect the original poster. Just because someone disagrees with a war or believes a war shouldn't have been fought there is no reason to take that out on the men and women who serve our country. In the US, if you are in the military you go where they tell you to go and do what they tell you to do.
To the poster, I know your "guilt" must be tremendous and you're feelings of guilt only show that you truly have a heart and care about humanity. War is horrible even when it is necessary because of toll it takes on both the living an the dead. Find peace in the fact that you were only a tool used to kill the enemy and if you had not killed them then they would have probably killed you. God bless you.
1
21 Apr 2012 2:31PM
hi, there is more help for vets now and more comming with the new programs being considered, go to the VA hospital for info. go to the american leghin club for help, as there are many with simalar problems there..the nam vets got a raw deal from the military and the public back home.. i wish you the best my friend.......love and peace
1
21 Apr 2012 3:15PM
Sadly, your sanity it the price we all willingly paid for the desire to dominate the world. I have great respect for the desire of our soldiers to put their lives and their minds on the line for what they believe is right, but they are being used as tools by politicians who have ideological goals that don't have anything to do with defendig this country. Korea was not fought to defend America, nor Viet Nam, nor Panama, nor Grenada, nor Iraq I, nor Iraq II. Afghanastan began with the right intention, but who knows what our soldiers are dying for now 10 years later. I don't think it can be argued that any American soldier has actually died in a war defending his country since 1865.
You did horrible things for a horrible cause. Perhaps if such things are not forgotten, and not forgiven, we will be less likely to commit our fellow citizens to such meaningless depridations in the future. We've sacrificed a large portion of the upcoming generation to a lifetime of mental anguish that our society will be dealing with for decades to come. The price is excrutiatingly high for having gained nothing in return - which is why we must drape our broken warriors in the mantle of protecting our freedoms, when in fact they were only protecting the bottom line for a few.
I'm sorry for your torment. Good luck.
