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Anonymous
@confessions
08 Jul 2010 6:03PM
• 845 views • 0 attachments

Police up in the cold wet north east of England have received greetings from Raoul Moat, holidaying in a far away sub-tropical sunspot. Raoul's card read simply "Wishing you were here".

"Looks like he's gone away for a while", said DCI Bob Ainsworth. "Lucky bastard. It's alright though isn't it. Here am I, law abiding, wife and two kids, mortgage, three dogs - the furthest we ever get on holiday is Morecambe Bay. Whoever said crime doesn't pay".

"It's a disgrace, that's what it is", declared 76 year old pensioner Alice Nuttall. "This man has broken the law. He should be brought before magistrates and told to sweep the streets. I blame the government. They're too soft".

"He's taking the piss", said trainee mechanic Alex Hodge. Bet he gets off with a slap on the wrists. I suppose this is all courtesy of the money he got from the chip shop".

"The public must remain calm and stick together", announced Commissioner Vernon Appleyard from Central Control Northumberland Division.

"Everything's under control", declared Appleyard. "No need for panic. Just go about your lives as if nothing's happened. Take a holiday if you like. Head south. Sunderland's glorious at this time of year".

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Anonymous
08 Jul 2010 6:06PM

wtf stfu

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Anonymous
08 Jul 2010 6:07PM

EDL!!!NS

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Anonymous
08 Jul 2010 7:00PM

i think you need help of the psychaiatric kind!....your stories are shit too

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Anonymous
08 Jul 2010 7:44PM

Northunbria Police should feel ashamed, In a county renowned for its Castles, they cant find one fucking Moat !!!

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Anonymous
08 Jul 2010 7:47PM

Police in Newcastle upon Tyne are now desperately searching for Raoul Moat around the St James Park area of Newcastle, Stopping anyone who is built like a brick shithouse, with a flat nose, no teeth and covered in Tatoos,
After 6 days they have decided to concentrate on just the men now. !!

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Anonymous
09 Jul 2010 2:56AM

ha ha... true

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Anonymous
08 Jul 2010 7:53PM

lol

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09 Jul 2010 1:24AM

Raoul Moat has made a youtube vid ; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EK2tWVj6lXw

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