I'm a 20 year old female black college student. I'm 5'2 naturally curly hair green eyes I guess you can say my skin is caramel completed. I'm writing this confession because I've been having trouble finding what I want sexually for a while. I know what you're thinking. What do you mean??? You're in college how hard can it be?! What is it?? Well before I tell you what it is I guess I'll have to give you this lengthy explanation to paint the picture on why. So ever since I was young I've been taught to be good. Be respectful & show respect back. Everyone I've dated has been respectful, real gentlemen. When I was young I was raised to not let anyone talk down on you. Whatever it may be. How you look. How you talk, your situation in life & your race. Especially my race. I was taught to be proud of it. Be proud of the history. Represent it well & never let no one call you no names or talk down on you because of it. Every guy I've dated who was outside my race ( mostly white men ) would praise my "exoticness". Whether it be my full lips, hair, skin color, behind or whatever lol. I've been treated well. I should be grateful. I know I should be grateful, but I feel something missing. I've been bored I guess its a spice my life up thing, but I've been wanting to be degraded for a long time. Ive tried it with my recent boyfriend, but he feels uneasy doing it. The usual slurs were good for a while, but I've been wanting more & I think he doesn't feel right pushing that envelope. The problem is when he asks what i want. I cant explain it. I mostly just want to be surprised. Caught in the moment. I don't want to know what to expect when were in bed. I want to be shocked! The contrasting feelings of good sex & being treated bad turns me on soo much. I want to feel shame. I want to feel treated like dirt. I want to bring him around my family members again knowing that he's treated me like this in bed. I've been taught to be proud & work hard all my life, I've really never seen this side, or felt it. you're supposed to "live your life to the fullest" right?! I guess this is one of the things I just want to experience, hopefully again & again & again. I understand why he's uneasy about it. I just wished he'd let himself go & get lost in it & enjoy it. I've fantasied a lot lately about how else or where else I can fulfill this fantasy of mines also, but then this confession would have to be longer Hahahaha, anyways hope this was enjoyable for the time you've read it & if you can relate, hope you can fulfill yours as well ;)
Replies 29
if you have green eyes , you have European in you some ware Darlin, which is Kool where all Human. enjoy life
Why don't you just have a Pillow Talk conversation with him and tell him that you Want & Demand that he calls you a nigger while behind closed doors.
Eventually he'll get used to it and he will learn how to treat you in public, if not he isn't the one for you.
He already does that baby. The problem is I want more & I want him to losen up about it :)
Come take a vacation in Toronto. I'll show you around the city. When in public, everyone will think you to be a an elegant, beautiful young black female in the arm of an older distinguished gentleman. But you'll know that hours earlier, you were licking my cock after I had fucked your ass. You'll know that underneath your beautiful summer dress, you have "nigger cunt" written on your lower abdomen in permanent marker, with an arrow pointed down. You'll walk around the city with your perfect makeup, knowing that hours earlier it was running down your cheeks when you were face fucked while having your hands tied behind your back and a buttplug in. You'll drink a cappuccino, knowing hours earlier you were on a dog leash and collar, on hands and knees, eating cum out of a dog bowl with your ass in the air being whipped. And the entire time, you'll have a huge smile on your face, as you remember my last words to you before I told you to get dressed in your costume of a respectable ebony female: "this is just the appetizer, my little nigger fuck slave".
OMGGGG!!!! I felt myself quiver sitting down reading this! I want this sooo bad!! I know this isn't how somebody is supposed to treat someone, but I fucking love it! I'd be sooo ready to obey you to be treated this why, but I'd also want to disobey just to see how I'd be punished!! Haha ;)
So you are a submissive who likes humiliation play. there is nothing wrong with that. Im a dominant who likes it. Dead serious about the visit to Toronto if you cant find what you are looking for locally.
and if you want to chat some more like the scenario I posted above, email me at [email protected]
where are you from you dirty little nigger whore? where do you live that you can't stand but to be treated like the coon fuck slut that you really are? come visit me and I'll show you what you are good for. I'll show you the way a jungle bunny like you should really be treated and used in the bedroom. you will put that desire to show me the utmost respect and listen to my every command to very good use. ;)
Hmmmmm lol I'm from Florida if you really want to know :) lol
sounds like you will have to come up to Detroit so I can take care of that filthy black ass of yours
Hmmm I just might need to go make a trip. I'd love to be taught on who my superiors are ;) lol
you would be taught many things. including how to properly beg in private and in public. its too bad you don't have an account here so we can talk about this more
IF this kind of thing interests you
and FYI, MonkeySlavegirl, has been shut down for awhile.
Here's the deal as I see it.
There are certain things on the sexual spectrum that appeals more to some than others. A lot of them are more "vanilla." But REALLY getting in to the scene you're describing requires both people are on the same page. You've both got to get off on it. It's too "real" to fake, you know?
Only thing is I can suggest is that the next time you're playing you encourage him to go farther. He needs to know it's OK. And MOST importantly, he needs to start getting off on it. Sex like this is a dance. It takes a partner.
But maybe you'll get lucky. Maybe just seeing you act like the dirty, slutty, cunt whore you KNOW you are will fire him up.
:)
Good luck.
Oh? This boyfriend? He won't be your boyfriend forever. Trust me. You'll find your match. Trust me on that too.
Now get on your knees and lick my hot asshole bitch. :)
Let's get some stereotypes out of the way...
1) College isn't necessarily the best place to explore sexually, because almost EVERYONE there is exploring their sexuality. IE: you're not going to meet an experienced guy that knows how to dominate. You'll meet abusive guys that can't control their temper. You'll meet guys that want to fuck as many chicks as possible thinking quantity is better then quality. You'll meet guys that know how to blow their load in a girl, but don't know how to get her off. So, college isn't the best place to explore extra-curricular needs, like BDSM, degradation, etc.
2) You can crave being treated one way in the bedroom, and be treated another way outside of it. Out in the world, you can be a strong, confident woman. In the bedroom, you can be treated like a worthless whore. They're two separate worlds, and depending on your nature, one is fantasy while the other is reality (eg: a submissive woman can put on the fantasy of being a strong, confident lady outside the bedroom, but the bedroom is her reality where a dominant puts her in her place and makes her feel like a whore ... or vice-versa ... some women like a reality of being a strong confident woman outside the bedroom, but like a fantasy of being a worthless whore in the bedroom.) You don't have to be "one way" in life. Your life has many facets, and you play different roles in them. What you're finding out is there's another side to you that needs fulfilling, and it's not being fulfilled right now.
Now... putting those two together... trying to find a guy in college to fulfill advanced needs like degredation is a horrible prospect, because guys in college have only experienced BDSM via pornos they watch, and they can't differentiate between the bedroom and outside the bedroom. EG: you may find a young stud that fucks you good in the bedroom and calls you a "nigger whore" while pulling your hair and making you take white cock. But... he also makes racial slurs to you outside the bedroom and talks down to you in public like you're a worthless piece of shit. If that's what you want, then go for it. However, most women want to be respected out in public and dominated in the bedroom. (Let's clarify that... they want their man to be dominant, but still respectful out in public. IE: he's not calling her "bitch" in front of other people.. that's disrespectful. However, if you act up or tease him disrespectfully he'll be quick to put you in your place out in public by grabbing your arm and quietly whispering in your ear that you're ass is going to have some payment due when you get back home.)
Your best bet is to go online to a BDSM dating site. I won't mention any, because I don't want this to seem like a spam reply.
Those sites focus primarily on your sexual needs. You can tick off what kinds of fetishes you want, and you can clarify in your profile what exactly you're looking for.
Fair warning, the sausage to taco ratio on these sites tends to skew towards guys, so you'll get bombarded by replies from men (and perhaps some pushy lesbians). Just filter out the bozos. It's best to just look at a person's profile before replying. If they don't focus on your fetishes, or seem like a decent person on their profile, skip them.
What you're looking for is full degredation BDSM ... which includes racial degredation.
This doesn't make you a bad person. Everyone has kinks. You happen to be a closet submissive, and you're sort of like a wrecking ball... you've spent so much time pent up as a "good girl" and "be strong and independant" and "don't let anyone talk down to you" that you're craving a huge release. IE: you're a pendulum that's spent too much time on one side that it wants to swing towards the other side like a wrecking ball in order to balance itself out.
When you finally meet someone that fulfills your needs, you'll eventually balance out.
There's a large gray area of submissiveness. Some just like a "taken in hand" situation, where the guy is a head of household. She's part of the team, and has say in things, but ultimately what he says goes. Usually they include spanking as a punishment for the woman.
You sound like you're further down the spectrum. You want some full-on degredation and (ab)use. You want a guy to do as he pleases with you, use you hard, talk down to you, call you names, and basically remind you that you only have worth in life when you're taking a cock in a hole or being spit upon, slapped, spanked or choked.
Lots of guys are willing to do that. But, you want a guy that follows the BDSM code of conduct to use safe words, hard/soft limits, and actually abide by them. Because, even though it will seem like he's there for himself, a good Dominant knows he's there to fulfill you as well as himself. He can't do that if he's just thinking about his own needs and leaving you hanging.
So, I'd recommend an older guy ... someone more experienced. Not like your dad's age, but if you're in college then a guy in his early to mid 30's would probably be good. An older man already gives off a sense of dominance to younger girls.
I'm speaking from experience. I met a couple of girls on a BDSM dating site. I'm Dominant, and I like degradation. I'm white and german. I dated a black chick that loved racial degredation. Sex for her had to be punishment ... there was no such thing as "making love". Any time I fucked her it had to hurt ... either I had to take her ass bare and really ram her, or I had to work her cunt over so much that it would hurt when she orgasmed ... and then I'd make her orgasm more. The whole time I would call her a "nigger whore" and she was only allowed to call me "massa" (not "master" .. "massa" like an old nigger slave would say). She would whine, cry, moan and struggle, but I would hold her down, tie her up, and basically just use the shit out of her. When we were done she was always a sobbing mess.. but, that's when an experienced dominant cuddles with the sub afterwards to then nurture the other side... she wanted to be used like a whore, but she also needed to be cuddled like a little girl. And, in public I treated her like a lady.
I also dated a jewish chick. She had a thing for nazi roleplay. Again... no such thing as "making love". She wanted it hard, she wanted to be punished. She had this thing about how jews are cramming their shit down everyone's throat... they want to be pitied while they also want to control the whole world. The passive-aggressive victims of the world. So, she wanted me to basically put her in her place by shaming her, telling her that she owns nothing, she is nothing, and ... well, it got pretty intense. I bought a pair of combat boots and would wear jeans and wife beater t-shirt like a skin head when I'd come over to fuck her. She got off most when she was face-down, ass-up, and my boot was on the back of her neck holding her down while I'd beat her ass with a riding crop. Fun times.
The common theme I noticed with chicks that like extreme degredation is they like it when the dominant guy seems absolutely like the worst alter-stereotype of the one they're playing. EG: my little nigger slut like it when I first started out playing a plantation owner ... but eventually I moved on to playing the role of just some trashy white guy that didn't own anything. I would tell her I'm just some white-trash hobo out train-hopping, and I caught myself a nigger to have some fun with. She really got off on the feeling that I was the absolutely low of the low of the white world, but I was still above her.
Jew slut was the same way... I started out acting like a nazi officer, then a nazi soldier (down the ranks) ... eventually landing on white-trash redneck skin head. Just absolute trash, the worst kind of white-trash you see on tv making people feel shocked that someone could act like that ... and I'd be like that when I was with her in private at her place and it would make her so wet she'd be dripping on the carpet.
There's just something magical about knowing you're being dominated by the absolute bottom-feeding filth of the world.
That's why racial play is so fulfilling, too. Black on white or vice-versa. The whole "you're not supposed to do that!" stigma. A white girl taking a huge black cock and called a "nigger loving whore", or a black girl being called a "nigger whore" while taking a white cock.
Basically... go onto BDSM dating sites, because that's where you cut to the chase and get down to what kinks you're wanting to fulfill first and foremost. Don't be passive about it either ... IE: don't just make a profile and let guys pester you. Take an active role and actually look through the guy profiles. Sometimes the best guy is the one that isn't taking his time messaging you. That's how my current gf found me ... she contacted me first. We've been together for 5 years... 5 spanking, hair-pulling, trash-talking, anal-pillaging years.
what gets me off on this kind of stuff is how I not only feel betrayed and victimized by my dominant, but by my own body, too. I always seem to end up with guys that treat me nice out of the bedroom, but in the bedroom it almost turns into domestic abuse. They come up with some reason to be pissed at me, come at me while yelling and slapping at me while I try to cover my face. Eventually they get a handful of hair, drag me around, slap my face, I struggle, but the more I struggle the more I get slapped and treated rough. I get so wet over it. I like feeling victimized, like I'm worthless and deserve to be treated like this. Like I'm a fuck up, and everything I do I can't do right, and I deserve to be punished. I was raised that people should forgive and forget, but I know deep down I need to be punished. I was told that a man should be kind to you, so when he's being an absolute animal I feel betrayed by him. He's not being the gentleman he should be to me. But I know I deserve to be treated like this. I cry and try to get pity, but I get none. And it makes me wet realizing that I can't calm him with my womanly charms. I'm just subject to the full wrath. My wetness feels like betrayal, too. My body is getting turned on by this when it shouldn't be. Or, I used to think it shouldn't be, but it does, so I guess it does. Then he starts in on my vagina, dominating it and using it against me. He makes me orgasm, and I feel like a weak woman for letting my body control me and giving in to its cravings. It disgusts me more, because I have no control over anything. He can't control himself, I can't control him, I can't control what's happening, I can't control my body, I can't control my orgasms. I just feel so out of control and worthless and victimized. And I love it so much. I was in a couple of abusive relationships when I was younger. I liked how they would come home and go off on me, but I didn't like it escalating to getting punched in the face. I saw a psychiatrist for a bit after I got out of the second one thinking I was really messed up and needed fixing. I got a lot psycho-babble blah blah, but deep down I knew this is who I was, so why was I trying to fix what wasn't broken. What was broken was how the man in my life couldn't stop himself. So, I sought counsel other places. I joined a BDSM group, went to munches, and that's when this whole veil lifted. I could be who I was, but didn't have to worry about ending up a statistic when the night was over. One guy became my caretaker, and he showed me that I could have all of this fulfillment while still being treated like a decent, normal person outside. He said it was like a pressure valve. Things build up, and they need a release. My abusive exes gave me a release, but went over board. Plus, they didn't confine the release to just the bedroom. The master did, and he helped me explore things. I tried some group sessions. Talk about intense. It's one thing to have one guy upset at you. It's another to have 6 guys upset and each slapping and abusing you. That was the most intense yet satisfying thing I've ever done. When they were all done we all went out to eat and acted like regular folks. It was just so eye-opening. I went home and cried that night, because I was so happy I could have both worlds. I ended up with a guy that knows how to victimize me to vent off the pressure, but knows I don't want a black eye at the end of the night. Some nights I just want to be loved, because I feel so worthless and want validation (see, psycho-babble paid off with some fancy terms), and he does it. Other nights I just want him to go to town on me, because I feel worthless and want to be treated as such. But, overall, it's the absolute betrayal and lack of control that gets me. My own body is used against me, and the feeling of shame and humiliation and disgust with myself is both sickening and yet very arousing.
A lot of black chicks have degredation fantasies. Women in general usually have submission fantasies. Some go more and more extreme. A lot of my black friends in school always talked about how they wished the football team would pull a train on them. Not the black guys, though... just the white guys. The big fantasy was they wanted to get kidnapped by a bunch drunk, white football players during school hours, then hauled out behind the bleachers on the football field. The quarterback (a white guy... a real douche-bag, too) would stare at them egotistically while all the other redneck hick footballers were pulling their pants down and stroking their dicks. She'd get held down, but, being a black chick, she'd obviously give a bit of sass. So, she'd have to get smacked around a bit. They were pretty descriptive ... they wanted to get slapped first, then have a tit or two grabbed roughly and pulled around by it until they fell to the ground. Eventually a few punches to the gut would put them in their place and they'd become a compliant little rape victim. That's when the entire team would be closing in ... nothing but a wall of white cock, and she knew that the only way out of this was to go through them all and do as she was told until they had their fill and were done with her. Then they'd fuck her. They'd get all alpha male and would fight over who's going next, some grabbing her roughly and pulling her off another guys dick to ram their own in ... it was basically a feeding frenzy. Choking, slapping, spitting, cock down her throat until she couldn't breath and was struggling for air. All the white boys laughing at her while she struggled and was helpless. She was basically just an amusement for them. Eventually loads start to drop. Some cum in her cunt, some in her ass, tits, mouth, then there's the asshole that says she's not good enough to cum in, so he shoots his load to the side of her face... she's not even worth cumming on. Just complete shame and humiliation. The quarterback finally comes up last to take his turn, and he's got a huge cock (obviously... this is a fantasy), and he just rams it in her ass so hard she's crying. She's down in the dirt, covered in sticky cum, and it's geting dirt and grass stuck all over her. Eventually he grunts loud several times and busts a load in her ass. He stands up with her still impaled on his dick, then pulls her off and just tosses her down on the ground like a limp ragdoll. Her clothes are torn, she's coverd in cum, dirt, grass and the filth from underneath the bleachers from last game, and the white boys just walk off laughing. The quarterback tells her that if she ever thinks of narcing on them, he's gonna kill her family. And, if she doesn't want that to happen, she better show up under the bleachers tomorrow at the same time. Eventually she drops out of school, and just becomes a whore that they whore out to other white students for $10 a trick, and she spends her days under the bleachers getting a bunch of white cock shoved in her while being treated like a complete piece of shit.
There were 3 black chicks i hung out with, and they spent a lot of time fleshing out that fantasy. I asked them how far they'd gone to make it happen ... they looked at me like I was crazy. Everyone girl has rape fantasies, but they don't go around trying to make them rape realities. However, they said they all touched themselves to it a lot. One of the girls had a fantasy about the fat, white nerdy guys at school raping her... just heaving their fat bulk against her as she begged them to stop. And finally one of them busts in her and tells her her life is ruined now that she's pregnant with his kid and her only value is as his personal breeder.
They had some pretty interesting fantasies. Mine was just that I wanted to fuck George Clooney... I had a thing for father figures. I felt awkward about mine, but after hearing theirs I felt down-right normal.
Hia all. The whole submissive/dom relationship personaly works well for me i have always been a rather demanding horny bastard wasn't until both being on this site and my ex that i really enjoyed it. Not so extreme as being called master but i do enjoy being called sir. Saw some racial humiliation porn a while back and i have to admit i got hugely turned on, was a while back and annoyingly it seems this type of porn is rather difficult to locate. But having a black girl worship my cock while being racially humiliated is definetly on my fuck-it list.
Made me both turned on and chuckle as about a week ago i asked everyone if they knew of any porn like this.
I really love what you have written Its a beautiful confession of a young woman
Sexual need in the context of sadomasochism is an honest need
Its simply a paradox of human nature The bedroom is the place to explore all of this but most people, men and women are confused Sex is primal and beyond the rational mind that thinks it has to have a reason for every thing and thinks in terms of morality , good and bad People don't understand themselves How can a woman hate the idea of being raped one moment and have rape fantasies the next In fact they are 2 different things Yeah you want to be knocked around, roughed up a little or a lot degraded and fucked to pieces because its primal desire because its totally hot Its sex with a beautiful edge You need to find a man that understands this Who can play your body and psyche like a cello :) Whats the differnce between being raceist and racial Interracial is love between the races Its Eros at play Im sure id love to fuck the shit out of you and degrade the fuck out of you you delocious little nigger fuck whore slave Id talk to like that when we were in the heat of it and make you suck my balls and slap the fucking hell out of you and when we where all cumed out i take you in my arms and kiss and love you and buy you a beautiful dinner and you would know what it means to loved like you need Like the gorgouus sacred perfect little goddess slut god made you
xoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxo
