I confess that I'm a 33 year old man who has been married for 10 years and tough I love my wife I can't stop thinking about having sex with other women, I am not ugly by any means, but for some reason feel totally unwanted and unappreciated most of the time, even though my wife says that she loves me I feel like its just become routine, am I the only one who feels like this?
Replies 7
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07 Feb 2017 10:47PM
Thats pretty normal. We all have that. You're a man and that's biology. Literally- the biology is in men to want to procreate- and that is sex. So it's very normal. Just depends on how you channel it. If you want to stay married, then it depends on what kind of relationship you have with your wife. You might want to try "No wanks." This is where you restrict blowing your load unless you're within 10 feet of your wife. Don't blow it looking at motherless. That just plants false flags in your brain about what isn't "routine". If you do no wanks for a few days, you'll suddenly be all over your wife. So hopefully you have a wife that will have sex when you need it.
I'm not anti-porn, I'm just saying use it as a warmup if you need to, then don't blow your load. If you can't resist, then don't watch porn for a while. But the most important part is not blowing that load unless you're within 10 feet of your wife. If she's the right kind of wife, then you can let her know this is what you're doing. Be honest and tell her you don't want things to feel routine cause you love her, and after 10 years, you want to spice things up. Then take it step by step. Maybe she'll watch porn with you? But if not, at least try to up the amount of sex you have together. Be a little kinky. Spice things up. (dont try to get kinky without talking about it first... all of a sudden nailing her in the ass usually doesnt work without some kind of warning).
If you dont want to stay married, well that's a different answer. If you want to spice things up, there's tons of things you can do... that's a different answer. There are many ways to make that happen.
Note: I know I'll get flamed here for sounding anti-porn, and i'm not. I'm just going by your post and giving advice based on what I read as you wanting to stay married. I'm sure you will get the "fuck her harder!" or "find someone else to fuck and dont worry about it" posts, but I'm going straight from what I see in your post. So good luck!
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07 Feb 2017 10:51PM
Thanks for the advice, I do want to make it work, but I work so hard and feel like I'm unappreciated and that makes things really tough.
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07 Feb 2017 10:59PM
thats very normal. very. i been married three times.... so i know exactly what youre saying!!! you gotta bring this up respectfully and compliment at the same time. "i want you more and more cause i'm still driven crazy by you sexually" and then bring up why you feel unappreciated. even say "this might just be my impression". but set the example first, by paying her some attention that women love... then you can say "hey I've been doing this and this and this" just to show you I appreciate you. hopefully you'll get the reaction you need. unfulfilled needs are the #1 reason marriages fail and cheating happens. so speak up if your needs are not being met!
tell her you want to spice things up cause you want her and its not just about sex... but thats part of it. you have needs as a man that are very normal. dont feel guilty about being a real man. its biology, nothing wrong with that.
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08 Feb 2017 10:01AM
All good advice. Believe me you are not alone in that happening. Been married almost 10 years and it is about the same. Sex is very rare, though my wife always says she loves me, but she is just tired or whatever. Also feel unappreciated for everything I do for our household and family. Have killed myself working for all this time to be able to provide a great life of financial stability for her and my kids. Then come home and do everything to keep the house and cars maintained, run our finances, etc. So I could also say that I think since you got married relatively young at 23, you missed out on a lot of your 20's and early 30's which maybe isn't the same for everyone, but for me was my prime years of banging tons of girls all the time, so I feel like in some ways I got that out of my system. I got married in my mid 30's so now in my mid 40's I expected somewhat of a slowdown in the sex life, but it has almost crawled to a halt so I too have started to have my mind wander about sleeping with other women. Emotionally I don't want anyone else. I still do love my wife. But sexually I need to be with someone who seemingly wants to be with me.
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07 Feb 2017 11:12PM
It's nice to see a genuine post/comment here and there. Well done gents and solid advice.
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08 Feb 2017 10:51AM
44 here, going on 45 been married for 17 years now. Dude, you're not alone. I met my wife at a party, one of my friends wanted to fuck her so we played a game on who could get her first. Well, my wife wasn't having it - she made me date her and I didn't get that pussy until I went out with her for a month. That being said, the sex wasn't the best but better than what I was used to. She wasn't as tight as my last girlfriend either - but you know what? She conformed to my needs and wasn't a bitch. So when we were dating once we got a lavish hotel room and I fucked her brains out, we went to the bar down stairs with her pussy dripping with my cum in it. We were drinking and she tells me, "I think I'm bisexual, it could be a lot of fun - especially for you," me - being the stupid idiot that I was, "well, that is still cheating..." and that was the end of it. Never heard anything about it until two years ago, and I brought it up. Our sex life was lame, I was barely getting pussy once a month. The only time she cums is when I eat her out or finger her, never when I'm inside her. So, I brought it up to her, "are you bored? Remember when you said you were bisexual? Would you like to experiment?" She must have thought I was just testing her or trying to get a threesome, "Do you really think that our marriage could survive being open like that? I think you would be to jealous." So I looked at her in the eyes and told her, "You'd be jealous too because I would totally have a girl on the side. I think we can handle this, I'm not going anywhere and it's just to spice things up." So I grabbed her hand and walked her to the bedroom, making sure to take the iPad too. I put on some lesbian porn and had her watch it while I ate her out. She came in five fucking minutes, with an intense orgasm too - her body was in convulsions she came so fucking hard. "Holy shit," she said trying to catch her breath. "Yeah, you need a fucking girlfriend, and so do I." So, she totally let me have a girlfriend. She hasn't acted on her sexuality yet, but she has admitted she has a crush on a coworker. I tell her when I'm going to meet my girlfriend, and I make sure to kiss my wife immediately when I get home. I've told her that a few times she's tasted another woman, because I've eaten my girlfriend out and went home and kissed my wife - guess what? She's turn the fuck on when I do that. I nearly get raped. The moral of the story is, if you have a cool wife - YOU can spice the fuck out of your marriage man. She has some deep dark kinky secrets that she's hiding. My wife even admitted that she has fantasies that she won't even share with me lol. SO GET BUSY man. Talk to that wife of yours and see where you get with it. Being in a relationship - to hold it together you have to be open and honest. Good luck!
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10 Feb 2017 3:01AM
I feel ya man I hardly get sex anymore and its boring as hell when I do. I think a couple of my ex's one in particular ruined sex for me for the rest of my life. She was great we did so much stuff crazy things. I don't think I'm ever gonna have sex like that again. This site actually has some pretty horny girls if you look hard enough. I've had a lot of chances to fuck girls from here but I never end up doing it because I feel like I don't wanna cheat. It feels so rough because of my constant need but I usually just masturbate and its like I come to my senses lol. Well good luck my man I hope everything works out for you.
