I confess I am drawn to revealing things about myself on internet boards with the intent of getting the approval and help of foreign people, whom I wouldn't tell my story if I saw them in person and whose advice I would never take. I confess that I have been doing that for 10+ years now and that there has been no single advice that helped me advance in life but instead keep me in the rat race. I confess that my brain tricks me into doing it again thinking that somehow somewhere there would be people thinking like me and doing things in my favour. Even though I have been disappointed by other males since the moment I could think I still think that they like me if I am nice enough.
Even though I get what I want more often when I am not nice I go back to being nice all the time and wonder - like a fish with short-term memory - why it doesn't work.
Having been doing this for 30 years I gave up hope to ever get out of this in the long run. I don't think I have the ability to think outside the box.
