So, my son's been staying with me for the past few months. It's been great getting to know him and his weird dextrous feet. That kid really can play the piano and the guitar at the same time, he's like a chimpanzee with brains. He's a smart fucker, too - gets straight As and everything. I'm so proud that someone like him can come out of my prosthetic alien testicles!
Anyway, since he's half-alien, I'm thinking about whether I can sell him back to the military so they can conduct experiments on him to see what makes him tick. Either that, or enrol him on America's Got Talent. Which option would you guys think would net me the most money?
