Yesterday, a kid called up saying that he's my son. He's the product of one of the sex sessions I had with a 16 year old high school cheerleader from way back. He's been looked after by the US Military for all this time, and been schooled at the best schools and been looked after real good. He told me that there's twenty or thirty of them back at Roswell, and they've all got freaky alien superpowers.
My son has x-ray vision and laser-vision, so he can shoot laser beams out of his eyes and burn anything. He's also super strong and super smart and can read the Da Vinci Code in under ten minutes. He can play the piano and the guitar at the same time.
Anyway, due to budget cuts, the US military are strapped for cash for their alien-impregnation program, and all these kids are hitting their parents with child-support payments. Fuck that.
