I'm messed up. I was really pretty when I was little (I guess I still am; I'm 5'11" and I have long dark hair, green eyes guys love and creamy skin). People were always telling me how pretty I was and giving me an extra scoop of ice cream and stuff. I wasn't supposed to talk to strangers but sometimes I did and men ran their fingers through my hair sometimes and kissed my forehead and stuff. My Mom wasn't a slut but she had lots of boyfriends, not at the same time mostly but like one after another. Most of them ignored me but when I was 9 we moved in with a guy who stared at me a lot like he liked me that way. I guess I kind of flirted with him. My cousin told me about the birds and the bees around then and I felt my Mom's boyfriend getting hard when I sat in his lap a lot. I was sort of scared but my cousin said guys got big if they liked you and I was fascinated by it, too. I remember one night he left the door open when he peed and I saw it. It wasn't hard but I had a really weird feeling, like not really turned on but like I felt weak, I don't know. It's hard to describe. My cousin told me about blow jobs and I was like 10 when I sucked on a candle thinking about it even though I thought it was sort of disgusting because guys peed with that thing, whatever I guess that's all normal. My Mom's boyfriend was into my feet. He bought me high-heeled sandals and a really expensive anklet with emeralds and he painted my toenails. I called him Daddy, I'd called other guys we lived with that so it wasn't weird but my Mom was getting suspicious and she'd ask me if he touched my private parts and stuff and I said no but I started thinking about it a lot and touching myself at night and sometimes in the bathroom during the day. Being pretty was the most important thing in the world to me and I spent a lot of time in front of the mirror, like sometimes like hours. This is kind of embarrassing. Anyway one day I was sick and he took my temperature in my butt. He said why I forget what, like that it's better than putting the thermometer in your mouth but I knew he wanted to see my privates. He did it again the next day only he put vaseline there he said because I was tender and I wasn't scared but I felt guilty but it felt good to be touched there. I remember saying it's dirty there and him saying my poophole was clean and pretty. My clitty was sticking out and he asked me what I called where I pee and I said trickle, he touched my slit a little and I said trickle and I still think about how I felt. He asked me if anybody touched it before I said no. Anyway this is just the beginning of my confession but it's already long and maybe it's boring. It's hard to describe stuff!
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