Jesus Christ this girl has hidden melons
Groups
Satanic - 666 - Devil - Blasphemous - Ev
Jesus Wa?ks - Those Fucking Christians
Sister Sinners
Blasphemy
GOD DAMN JESUS & THE UN-HOLY SPIRIT
BURNING RED CHEEKS
In memory of Jesus Christ & Holy Bible
SATANIC Anti JESUS & ALLAH
Satanic Desecration
Angels of Porn
Fucking for Jesus
Board Posts
Jesus I wanna be that vibrator
If everyone accepted Jesus in their hearts and listened sincerely to his Sermon on the Moon there would be less mass shootings in US churches. God bless.
jesus is watching
Damien: Everybody hates me!
Mr.Mackey: Why do you suppose that is?
Damien: Because I'm the son of the devil!
Mr.Mackey: Uh huh that's a good start, why else?
Stan: Oh my god they killed Kenny!
Kyle: You bastards!
Stan: Oh my god they killed Kenny!
Mr.Garrison: What kind of sick weirdo are you?
Stan: Oh my god they killed Kenny!
Kyle: Say some thing Mr. Hankey.
Mr.Hankey: Aaaaah
Stan: Oh my god they killed Kenny! Dude, Kenny is dead.
Chef: Hello there children. Let me sing you a little song:
I'm gonna make love to you woman
Officer Barbrady: Well you ain't Fiona Apple,
and if you ain't Fiona Apple I don't give a rat's ass.
Reporter: What would drive a man to such a disgusting act?
Some Woman: My god that's disgusting!
Stan: Whoa dude, how do you have sex with a chicken?
Stan: At least im not a little pig fucker.
Cartman: God damn it!
Stan: Dude!
Kyle: Huh Sick
Mr.Hankey: Aaaah
Cartman: You get you bitch ass back in the kitchen, and make me some pie!
Mr.Garrison: You got to hell!
Stan: You butt plug.
Kyle: Damn!
Cartman: Well screw you too.
Cartman: Well?
Ms.Cartman: Sure Hun.
Cartman: Kick Ass!
Cartman: Hey, ill blow your freakin head off you peice of crap!
Mr.Mackey: I mean your one screwed up little kid, do you understand?
Cartman: He is a very disturbed little boy.
Ms.Cartman: You want some Cheesy Poofs?
Cartman: Yeah I want Cheesy Poofs!
Ms.Cartman: You can have a eensy weensy bit can't you?
Cartman: Well?
Ms.Cartman: Just a weensy eensy woo-woo?
Cartman: Okay!
Ms. Cartman: I bought you some Cheesy Poofs and Happy tarts!
Cartman: God Damnit!
Ms.Cartman: Just a weensy eensy woo-woo?
Stan: Oh my god they killed Kenny!
Kyle: You bastards!
Stan: Oh my god they killed Kenny!
Mr.Garrison: What kind of sick weirdo are you?
Stan: Oh my god they killed Kenny!
Kyle: Say some thing Mr. Hankey.
Mr.Hankey: Aaaah!
Stan: Oh my god they killed Kenny. Dude, Kenny is dead.
Mr.Garrison: Dumb ass, what a retard!
Stan: You fat fuck!
Kyle: Screw You.
Stan: Dude.
Mr.Garrison: Don't be such a little wuss!
Officer Barbrady: Fruitcake!
Cartman: Bitch.
Wendy: No, I'm not acting like a freak!
Cartman: Well I was standing out in a field and I had this huge satellite dish
sticking out of my butt, and then there were hundereds of cows and aliens, and
then I went up on the ship, and Scott Baio gave me pinkeye!
Stan: What the hell are you talking about!
Mr. Garrison: There are no stupid questions, just stupid people!
Wendy: Barf is gross!
Cartman: Nobody gives a rat's ass!
Pippins: Lunchy munchy hmm!
Stan: Oh yeah? Well at least my moms not on the cover of Crack Whore magazine!
Cartman: Damnit, would you shut the hell up?
Stan: Oh my god they killed Kenny!
Kyle: You bastards!
Stan: Oh my god they killed Kenny!
Starvin' Marvin: Yeah I want da cheezy poof!
Stan: Oh my god they killed Kenny!
Mr.Hankey: Howdy Ho!
Stan: Oh my god they killed Kenny. Dude, Kenny is dead.
Cartman: Son of a bitch.
Jesus: Yay, believe in me, and ye shall find peace, the way is paved with gold for ye who seek truth!
Ring Announcer: Wearing very very black trunks...the king of all that is evil...
Towns People: Barbara Striesand, Barbera Striesand!
Barbera Striesand: I'm Barbera Striesand!
Chef: Barbera Striesand?
Leonard Maltin: Barbera Striesand.
Kyle: Kick the baby!
Ike: Don't kick the baby!
Leonard Maltin: Leonard Maltin.
Leonard Maltin: Sydney Potier.
Chef: Sydney Potier?!
Stan: Oh yeah.
B.S.: Your some little hick!
Stan: You ugly skank!
Cartman: Damn your black heart, Barbera Stiesand! Hey! Why dont you stop dressin' me up like a mailman, and making me dance for you, while you go and smoke crack in your bedroom and have sex with some guy I don't even know on my dad's bed!
yo can we talk about something for a minute?? jesus, alright now that i have your attention. ima tell u something i aint never told anybody before not even my homeboy. this one time i straight up walked home from school then i seen this girl i know. okay i mean KNOW that bitch. she was a straight up skank. anyway she was at a car stickihg her fucking head in the window looking stupid n shit. so i said hey yo steffany but damn she didnt hear me. i said it again hey yo steffany. this time she turned around looked at me n went back to window like she stupid or someshit. then she stepped back and fuck the damn car took off i didnt even know there was a nigga up in there. then this the fucked up part.. crazy ho walked up to me to say wassup and damn nigga ...she had a string of cum dangling off her motherfucking eyelid. she was giving a nigga head in that car. i looked at her and man she looked so nasty i fucking threw up all over my fucking shoes. shit was embarrassing. straight up ratchet ho smh.
So last night I was prayin for deliverance and I kid you not, Jesus Fucking Christ (scrappy little brother to Jesus H. Christ, The Son of Man and Holy Lamb of God) came right through the rusted wall of my trailer and sat his glowing white ass own on my bed, right beside where I was kneeling. At first I thought it was my dead pop come back to life, so I reflexively reached for his cock since I was already down on my knees. But Mr. Christ gently pushed my hand away and said I didn't need to do that shit no more because he was gonna give me a real job.
So I thought wow this sounds perty interesting. Maybe he'll make me the fucking CEO of Mountain Dew or the Moon Pie company, or gimme my own taco wagon or whatnot. Anyways, so I says, yessir Mr. Christ, my dear Lord, I'm listening and sorry for grabbin your very big and powerful dick (I immediately pologized and said penis). What kinda job is you talkin about?
So get this, he wants me to go to fuckin flight school and learn how to fly them big fucking jet planes like what them motherfucking Arabs used to attack the US of A back all them years ago! I just looked at him and said what? He says, and this is a direct motherfucking quote, he says don't be such a cocksucking little sissy. Look, pussy, I put you here and I'll take you out. Your life is already one miserable faggoty failure after another and I am offering you a chance to have the real fame and fortune you have so far only seen in your wet fucking dreams. You in or you out, boy?
So what the fuck am I supposed to do now? He wants me to fly the thing into some super tall building in motherfucking Dubiey or some such wasteland in muslimville. He said the only way to send those goat fucking infidels (his words, not mine) a righteous message was to fly my plane into some building they have that's supposedly the tallest in the world. I thought that was the statue of liberty but whatever.
Anyways, so I says how is that dumbass plan supposed to make me rich? Famous I can see, but how is you gonna make me rich if I'm fried up like a crispy chicken nugget?
He just looks right into my one good eye and mutters some crap about riches in heaven and whatnot and when I start to call bullshit on that he just whips out his huge fuckin jesus cock and shoves it in my mouth. I been coughing up holy cum ever since.
Now I fucking start flight school in Florida in two weeks. I ain't never prayin again, I tell you what.
My daughter is drunk laying on the floor right now.. in a minidress.. with her legs apart.. looking at me. its SOO temping but jesus christ its my daughter. shes 22, gymnest.. and good looking.. im 48.. jesus what do i do.
shes the middle in the picture... HELP
I'm trying to be less selfish this holiday season. Afterall, it is better to give rather than receive. That's from the Bible, the straight dope, if you will. Jesus, himself said that, well at least to hear Paul tell it, he did.
So instead of writing a letter asking for a bunch of material distractions that i don't need, I simply asked St. Nick (legitimate catholic saint, so suck it protestants! Santa eats the flesh and drinks the blood of our resurrected saviour, Jesus Christ, the carpenter. Yep, that's what he does right after he makes a full confession of his sins, those of thought as well as deed, before an OFFICIALLY SANCTIONED representative of Jesus' most holy Father. No!, not Joseph the carpenter, God, the father, of the "Father, Son and Holy Ghost" fame . . . Nail that to a door, bitches!) to leave a digital camera beneath the tree of every teenaged girl in the world as my present on Super-Happy-Funtime-Jesus-Day!
I just want to introduce the joy of personal photography into the lives of every nubile young woman alive. Afterall, a beautiful photograph is a gift that can be appreciated over and over, a moment frozen in time and digitally preserved forever, or at least until the coming zombie apocalypse foretold to mark the advent of Christ's triumphant earthly return brings our civilization to its knees.
Huh, you know, when I read that out loud, it sounds more crazy than when I think it silently to myself . . .
Daughter Pays off Dad's Debt (Part one of two)
Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction.
Not true just wishful thinking.
All involved are fictionally over 18.
Below is a pic of the story's motivation. The real Sasha.
She couldn't believe her father as he phoned her right after she got home. She couldn't believe he would pull this stunt again.
“What happened?” she asked, more concerned with the safety of her father than with the task she was going to have to do.
“The goddamn #4 horse was a shoo-in. A shoo-in! I thought it would be easy money, honey,” he answered, clearly drunk. “Let's just be glad Antoine gave us the choice to do this again versus breaking my legs.” He tried to make the last part sound hopeful.
Sasha looked at the body length mirror in front of her and admired herself. Shoulder length dirty blond hair, pink pouty lips that fit symmetrically on her slight tanned Russian-ancestry face, and blue eyes that shined like diamonds. Still listening to her father as he began to cry on the other end of the phone, she checked her backside out, her firm peach butt barely fitting into her waist high jean shorts. Turning back around, she mindlessly fixed the fit of her bra on her c-cup breasts.
Realizing she was more annoyed by her father's crying than the task, she asked, “How many guys?”
“Wha?” her dad asked.
“How many guys? Last time, the guy, Richard, I think was his name, said that he wouldn't mind if I got shared with a few guys. How many guys am I blowing to clear your debt?”
Silence.
“How many, dad?”
“...it's a $2000 marker, sweetie.”
“Jesus,” she muttered, her head exploding in fear for her dad. And her mouth. “What time?”
“He said the next guy to knock on your door will be the one to collect my payment. Can you be ready, sweetie?”
“Yes, daddy,” she said, smiling slightly, aroused at the idea of getting to blow a large black man. “I'll do it.”
* * *
Darnell, who was a delivery driver for the Brown Delivery Company, had been having a bad day. First, his wife left him, having found the skinny white girl porn on his phone. Then, his boss, finding out he had been drinking on lunch breaks, said that he had one more strike until he was on his ass. Darnell, who stood at 6'4” and muscular and black as night, could not be in a worse mood.
The door to the next house was in a rich neighborhood. He didn't mind it because most of the rich guys were at work this early in the afternoon. Knock, wait for an answer, leave the package, and next house. He would be done early, so that was a plus.
He approached the door with a small parcel. Darnell knocked on the door. Waiting a few seconds, he knelt down to set the parcel down. On his knee, the door opened up. His cock immediately hardened as a small white girl in booty jeans, a tanktop, and confident facial expressions stood in front of him. “Are you him?” Sasha asked, straightening her hair over her firm tits.
“What's that?” Darnell asked, smiling. Women had tried to flirt with him before. But they were mostly cougars. Admiring the girl, he realized none had ever been this sexy.
Sasha examined his clothes and the box in his hands. “Am I your reward?”
“Umm...yes?” he answered, standing up.
She giggled. “I can't believe this. You're even bigger than Antoine's last guy. He must be pretty in debt to you for you to get this.”
“Umm... I sure am!” he said, trying to figure out what the hell the girl was talking about.
“Okay,” she said, smiling. “Come on in.”
In disbelief, Darnell asked stupidly, “Where's your dad?”
“Well, he's not here,” she said, turning from him and shaking her ass playfully. “Obviously. And I'm 18, by the way. Don't feel guilty.”
“Fine,” Darnell said. His day getting a whole lot better by the second.
He followed the girl into the house and was led into the living room, a leather couch laid out.
“We can do it here,” Sasha said, her white cheeks growing red with shyness. “Or my room,” she pointed to the stairs.
“Umm...” Darnell sat down on the couch. “Here's fine.”
“Okay,” she dropped to her knees in front of him. She pointed at her shirt. “On or off?”
“Uhh...” still in disbelief, Darnell answered, “Off?”
“Ok!” she exclaimed, sliding her tank top off. Underneath, a bright blue push up bra barely contained her firm but healthy c-cups. “Please don't get any on this. I just got this bra.”
“Umm...ok?”
“Ok! Uhh, your pants?” she gestured at his brown delivery man pants.
Instinctly, Darnell slid his pants and boxers off to his ankles. Out popped his seven inch, already full erect black cock.
“Jesus Christ!” Sasha exclaimed, covering her mouth and then touching the meat of the cock. “That's fucking huge!”
Darnell smiled. He knew that his cock was decent. Odds are that this little slut had never seen one this big with the white boys she probably fucked with. “So...uhh...” he mumbled, proudly looking at her tiny white hands on his black cock.
“Oh, right...”
Without a moment's hesitation, she mounted her mouth on his cock, her gag reflex well-trained. One hand attached itself to his balls as the other stroked the base.
Her pouty lips moved up and down four, then five inches. Up and down she sucked. Stopping momentarily, she stroked the cock slowly, her eager saliva covering the whole cock. “You are one lucky guy,” she whispered, admiring his cock. “You know, my dad works a lot... And works with Antoine a lot. You could...come over...if you want.”
Liking the idea but liking the idea of her sucking more more, he muttered, “Just keep sucking bitch.”
“Yes, sir,” she said, eagerly putting the cock back in her mouth. She continued to bob her head on the cock continuously for three minutes.
“Look up at me. Let me see those eyes, slut.”
Without removing the cock from her mouth, Sasha looked up at him.
Getting close, Darnell stood up, balancing himself with his pants around his ankles. He grabbed the back of her head, briefly fucked her throat. She gagged on his cock, her eyes going back into her head. “Fuck, yeah!”
Slurp.
Slurp.
Slurp.
She let her mouth turn into his fuck hole as he continued to fuck it.
“I said look up at me!”
Struggling, she followed his order.
He let her bob on her own as he reached down and unhooked her bra.
“Hey, my dad said you only got oral!” she protested, the cock still on her lips.
“Shut up and suck,” Darnell yelled, the bra off and his big black hands exploring her firm tits.
Wanting to stop but wanting to get this black cock to explode more, Sasha let the man fondle her as she counter sucked his throat fucking.
Slurp
Slurp
Slurp.
“Fuck...yeah...you... little...bitch... “ he yelled, as he fucked harder than he had the whole session.
Whipping his cock out of her mouth, he shouted, “Show me that face. Show me those eyes!”
He grabbed her chin and angled her face up. Slowly, he dropped her balls onto her waiting tongue. The girl's tongue circulated and vibrated on the bottom of the ball sack as Darnell stoked his wet cock hard and fast.
Looking dead into her eyes, Darnell yelled, “OH FUCK!”
String after string after bead after bead of cum covered her eyes, her chin, and her forehead. The last vinegar stroke landed right into her pretty little ponytail. “FUCK!” he yelled.
Sasha, still covered, mumbled, “Well, that was fucking hot!”
Suddenly, the door to the house slammed open. Standing there were three black gentlemen about Darnell's size, all dressed in suits.
“Who the fuck is this?!” the man in the front shouted.
“Who the fuck are you?” Darnell asked, having quickly pulled his pants up.
“I'm Antoine, mother fucker. Who the fuck are you?”
“Shit...” Darnell whispered, buttoning his pants.
Sasha wiped cum out of her eyes and looked at Antoine. “Mr. Antoine? If you're here, then...who's he? Isn't he the one collecting?”
Darnell ran out the door past the three black gentlemen, jumped in his truck. As he did, Antoine yelled out, “Thanks for warming her up for us.”
Sasha stared at the three remaining men. “Umm...but my dad said...”
“Your dad said we get the first shot at the pretty little mouth. Seeing as how that brother just used it up, we gon' use some other holes. One ...or two...at a time...”
Sasha shrugged her shoulders and reached out for Antoine's fly. “I guess a deal's a deal.”
End part one of two.
I want to fuck a girl so hard she cums creamy jesus babies.
Damn my mother in law's cleavage for growing a nice stiff yule log in my pants all day. I will go to church every Xmas Sunday for the rest of my life if Jesus will use his powers to make her bend over and take my cock.