my gf is a nurse and one of her nursing colleagues is a hot russian girl with a policeman for a bf. The russian girl is boy crazy and kinky and my gf finally suggested we do a couple swap or foursome. this russian girl has a tight little body and shes a bit of a fitness freak, so i was kinda excited at this prospect. unfortunately, despite the fact i weight train regularly and am quite strong, i also neglect cardio and i love food so im chubby and not exactly fit. im also only a short guy. so basically the russian nurse rejected the idea of having sex or any sexual interaction with me. she is only interested in guys she finds hot, and that does not include me. but she said she liked the idea of a threesome with my gf and she wouldnt mind if i watched, as long as she didnt have to do anything with me.

long story short the russian nurse and her policeman bf came around last night. the bf was over 6 foot tall and solidly built. whats more he was absolutely ripped. im just over 5 foot, fat and hairy. and while im stronger than the average guy, this policeman was just outright strong, much stronger than me.

i watched as this cop made out with both his own and my gf. the making out turned into heavy petting, then groping and after a while both girls were taking turns sucking his cock. all i was doing was sitting down watching. it was hot but also incredibly awkward. finally my gf whispered to me that she could tell i was feeling awkward and that it was distracting her, she told me to either strip off and masturbate or just leave house for a while. i kind of took offense to this, but i submitted. i didn't want to leave so i took my clothes off and started jerking off. this led the two girls to a fit of giggles. the copper seemed unfazed, though he was obviously feeling very 'alpha' about the situation. i started jerking my cock and my gf started fucking her friends bf. the russian nurse seemed to enjoy the fact that her bf had emasculated me. i came before the cop had finished with my gf. my gf told me to lick up my cum. i obeyed and i heard the russian girl say 'oh my god'.

my gf seemed to orgasm, dismounted the policeman, and than began sucking him again. she told him to give her everything he had. he fucked her face (I had done this once or twise with my gf when we were first going out but she always stopped me before long) until she was gagging all over his cock, but she didn't let him stop. when he was ready to cum she made sure to stop sucking and open up wide for him so i could see every shot of cum go into her mouth. she played with it in her mouth for a while, even dribbled a bit of it onto her hand and then licked it up again (she has not once tasted my cum, and she usually doesn't even give me a blowjob). she then cleaned his cock and balls up with her tongue. she then went up to me and kissed me while fondling my dick. i came again over her leg. she scooped it up with her hand and for a minute looked like she was going to lick it up, but instead she forced it into my mouth, and then told me to go shower.

i didn't want to face the russian nurse or the policeman again so i stayed in the shower for ages. when i was out they had left (my gf was still there). things have been awkward since then and we haven't really spoken properly since. probably have a conversation tomorrow about it. the weird thing is this has come out of nowhere. if anyone in our relationship has been dominant it has been me. ocassionally my gf tries to 'dominate' me in company out of humour, which normally ends in me chastising her publically. for her to dominate me for real, and for me to submit, was out of character for both of us. obviously i agreed to this situation though knowing i would be cuckolded to some degree, the thought quite honestly turned me on.

Wife gets naked and asks hubby, "What turns you on more, my pretty face or my sexy body?"

Hubby looks her up and down and replies, "Your fucking sense of humour."

Romantic date or cheap whore fuck?

It hadn’t taken long to organise... A little chatting, fingers busy on the keyboard, flirtations exchanged, confidences built on the chat screen before moving to the telephone. Then it happened, she hesitantly said “I’ve always wanted to be a whore.” Quite out of the blue when we were considering a meeting.

“Really,” I said. “You just want to be used, paid for raw and base sexual services.”

A moment’s silence then hesitantly “Yes I’ve always wanted that. I want it to be real. I want to be used like a cheap tart. Simply someone who is fucked, fucked hard, used without caring just to satisfy animalistic urges” all came tumbling into my ear.

“Then simples...” I said mimicking the TV meerkat “We have been working up to meeting. You want that and so do I. You want to be a whore and I fantasise about picking up a cheap, no limits prostitute, to use for extremes without caring how she feels. To take what I want. To get myself off and more than once. We have this chance now, this very weekend, before we get to know each other better, to live that fantasy, make it a reality, in comparatively safely and..” I hesitated before saying slowly and deliberately “... and so wantonly depraved and raw.”

“Don’t say anything.” I rattled out before she could reply. “I’m going to ask you some questions about your favourite drinks, work, mundane things to distract you whilst your mind races through the possibilities. When I’m done you can agree or disagree. We can still proceed with a normal date... Do you understand?”

The silence was perhaps four or five seconds but it seemed like an eternity. “Okay then... Yes.” Was her surprisingly soft and hesitant reply

I rambled on for a few minutes. Found that she liked very dry martinis, chilled Chardonnay, was fed up with work, needed more challenges, was tired of petty disputes over car parking spaces under her building and a few other trivial inconsequential minutiae of her daily life.

We knew that our thoughts were elsewhere. Our voices were somewhat monotone, low-key, clearly enunciated. We knew that we were both weighing up the risks, rewards and sheer perversity of what I suggested. Would Friday bring a simple light-hearted, flirtatious date? Slowly building up to tenderness, slow kisses, tentative touching and then, if the gods of happenstance and chemistry shone down upon us, fumbling, exploring and sex. Like millions of other first daters all over the world.

We hadn’t even exchanged photographs. We knew each other’s ages, approximate heights, general look, obviously shared a sense of humour, were skittish, openly flirtatious and both felt very comfortable with all the exchanges we had revelled in up to that moment. We knew we both craved extremes and had vibrant, active and indulgent pasts.

I drew breath and finished my anecdote about a friend and his neighbour who acted like a parking warden, living his life chastising people who parked incorrectly, not in the assigned spaces or didn’t display the residents parking permit correctly on the windscreen. Mindless words that served only to give us both time to consider what we are about to do.

I hesitated for a moment, drew an audible breath and said slowly and deliberately. “It’s decision time... Friday night will be ours regardless. It will be Henry’s bar. You know it and so do I. You have the choice. Either come as you are, the Dottie I have felt so comfortable with over these past two weeks, or embrace our fantasy and become Chloe who will sell herself, without restrictions or limitations, for half a bottle of shared champagne and a £50 note.” I paused wondering how this had all snapped into place in my mind so quickly, so precisely, so fully formed. “Just listen to what I say... Think hard; this is a step into reality not fantasy and when I finish tell me who you will be at 8:30 on Friday in Henry’s."

"It won’t be set in stone, although we both know it is unlikely either will change our minds, back down or shy away." I drew another breath, amazed at the fluency with which the idea was forming unrehearsed. “I want you to know that at any time over the next 70 odd hours you can change your mind. I’ll never refer to this conversation again and we will have a laughter filled, outrageous, warm and intimate evening. All you have to say it’s who you will be, Dottie or Chloe.”

“Text me on Friday morning with the details of something that will make you distinctive so I can pick you out from the throng. I will have a small silver aeroplane in my lapel. The back bar in Henry’s is a great place for an excellent dry martini. When I see you, I will ask if you would enjoy one with me. Look me straight in the eye, tell me you want it stirred, not shaken and diluted like that idiot bond, and I will agree. Tell you what good taste you have, then ask you the question that will steal your fate for the evening.”

“Up to that very instant, that fork in the roads, you’re free to choose the path you will follow. Both routes will be delightful, both will be exciting. One darker, twisting, demanding and deliciously perverted the other broader, easily followed, though still flirtatious and full of adventure. You choose by telling me your name for the night.”

“I will happily share an evening, night, or even the weekend with whoever you choose to be. Dottie will get my full, head on, attention, flirtation and charm. Chloe will be treated like the £50 whore she has always dreamt of being.”

“So... My frolicsome, flirtatious new friend, who do you hope to be on Friday?” The phone fell silent. Only our synchronous laboured breathing troubled the airwaves between us. Seconds ticked past, the silence, in itself, was charged with eroticism and tension.

I heard a slight clearing of the throat, a deeper sharp intake of breath and then the single word “Chloe.”

The exhalation, the relaxation, the sudden rush I felt appeared to come bouncing back at me through the ether, almost a climactic moment. I steadied myself, cleared my throat, and said. “There is nothing more to say... I look forward to Friday, 8:30, Henry’s back bar... I relish buying Chloe but would be delighted if Dottie turned up. I know I can’t lose. So I leave it to you?”

“Yes... Chloe will text you on Friday morning.” She replied, her voice slightly shriller and quicker than before. “She will have thought of something appropriate to wear by then. If nothing else the next 70 hours will be filled with speculation and anticipation... Wait for my text.”

“I will. I most certainly will” I replied, my mind racing through the possibilities. “My phone will never leave me on Friday.” My brain had frozen in the sudden realisation of the pact we had made, but not quite sealed. My thoughts were racing but my tongue was tied. I lamely added “Good night, sleep well.”

“Good night.” Was all I heard as the phone clicked over to that empty, vacant sound of a disconnected call.

What a way to start!

Regardless of who turned up, Dottie or Chloe, I knew that this was going to be the firing up of something incredibly different and truly exciting.

Maybe I’ll write down how it went another day. Truth is often stranger than fiction.

To say my divorced mum has a sense of humour is a under statement..she send me this to cheer me up during the coronavirus lockdown..

31M, decent looking (he says modestly) - just been through a messy divorce and in dire need of fun and laughter with a kinky open minded lady. Real lust for life (or just lust)...Getting like a corny dating ad now - but if any ladies want to meet or are curious drop a line. Am laid back, very open minded and have a wicked sense of humour....

Be good...Or not..

I think I'm a fairly easygoing person with a great sense of humour and I am looking for miss right (if she is out there!). I want to be with an intelligent person who I can share good times with.

Disagree, I wish more people had a sense of humour about sex :P

Has anyone had luck involving waitress/waiters in dares? A friend of mine is obsessed with the idea of it but I keep telling him there is no way they would jeopardize their job just to humour him even if I would

God must have a sick sense of humour. why else did he allow niggers to survive this long? Isn't it about time those rubber-lipped, ugly, thick as shit monkeys stopped breeding and leeching off civilised races?

I confess that though i might not be the luckiest guy on the world and am one of them
im 30 and my gf is 20...she`s one of those girls that actual is a "white girl but with a black ass"
quote on quote.great chubby curves were needed and a pretty cute face
she has had only two other bf and they sucked at fucking which meant that she would suck too(excuse the pun.now for me its not such a problem because i love teaching my whore how to please me but then you get girls that just to thick to know.so i taught her the usual stuff,blowjobs,deepthroat anal
and so forth.over being with her for almost a yeah,all i can say its gotta better.we have found a new interest Pissing in her butt.its great! really it is,if you never tried it then you should.our last encounter was when we just came from watching the Avengers (not bad of a movie,humour was really good,and tony stark being tony stark sarcastic,genius self) we stopped off for afew pints
at our local down the road,well i did,she doesnt drink at ALL...
as we were walking to the car ,i lit up spliff and said,"sweetie i need ti take a piss" she says
just wait till we get home"but in my mind ive plotted this plan out,i wanted to piss in her butt
tonight.
so as we`re driving home she says to me with the look of please daddy dont hurt me on her face,
are you planning on pissing in my butt? we both laugh for afew seconds and say yes darlin and im gonna love every second of it.so we both decided to make it alittle more fun.just opposite our road
(which is some what busy most of the time with people walking cycling that sort of thing) is a park
and this big oak tree and that would be my place for making her my toilet whore.
Its about 10.30pm,park the car on the side and casual walk over,make our way behind the tree as she already assumed the poistion of doggy style against the tree as to not waste anytime,besides i was busting to pee while still having a raging hard on.now if theres one thing i love and that is hurt here when i fuck her asshole,so every time i do i fuck it dry and get the ass juices flowing to
for the lubricant.i shove it and she cries out "not so hard youre hurt me" my reply was "shut the fuck up you little cunting whore and take it like a good toilet slut for daddy."as most of you know it is difficult to pee with a hard on,ive got the nack now but its not easy.so im busy fucking her while shes moaning and the cars are just driving by just barely seeing us(which is the thrill i suppose)

then i could not hold on,bladder was full and the snake had to piss.it was great!,i stood there,here bent over with my cock just using here as a toilet,its almost like cuming,its such a relieve and a turn on to be pissing a girls ass.
i ended up saving some and told her to suck me off alittle so i can cum...she puts my cock in here
mouth and sucks like a trained little girl while my piss and her ass jiuce was flowing out of her,ended up pissing my last bit of piss juice down her throat
and then ended it all off with aload of cum on her face and in her mouth....

im just rying to make my girl the dirtiest girl for me,thinking of trying out some other stuff too
shortly,i shall let you know how things go if youre interested.so somehow i do feel like i am one of the luckiest guys out there.

any other couples do this sort of thing,drop me line,would love to chat and trade experiences.

Kal