WTF?

Nowhere to Run

Nowhere to Run

18 Year Old Suffers O-Ring Blowout

18 Year Old Suffers O-Ring Blowout

THE WORST BOOB JOB IN PORNO HISTORY

THE WORST BOOB JOB IN PORNO HISTORY

This Guy Told Me To Go Fuck Myself

This Guy Told Me To Go Fuck Myself

Pornstar Ruins Her Boob Job

Pornstar Ruins Her Boob Job

Biggest Pussy Ever

Biggest Pussy Ever

Groups

Non-Photographic Art Galley

80 Uploads · 277 Members · 3 Forum Posts · 52,185 Visitors
Share your favorite non-photographic, artwork (preferably erotic). All drawn, painted, or cg artwork welcome. Please no artwork depicting children. If you're looking for some good stuff, try Boris Vallejo, Luis Royo, or any other artist featured in Heavy Metal Magazine :)

Orgies Galore!

387 Uploads · 348 Members · 3 Forum Posts · 122,834 Visitors
Cum one, cum all to Orgies Galore! Post your pictures and videos of orgies in action. They can depict gay, straight, bi, tranny, amateur and professional orgies. Images of children and animals are strictly forbidden. Membership requires that you have a bio on your profile and that you have already made uploads to Motherless.

Strict Boarding School

0 Uploads · 39 Members · 1 Forum Posts · 33,022 Visitors
Imagine going back in time to when boarding schools where strict and humiliating punishments such as spanking were very common.This group is aimed to take you there.See it as a kind of ageplay, wether you are 18 or 80 and you have experiences and/or images you'd like to share. Come back to school but this time it's 1950 when things were a little different to now.Meet the Head M...
Imagine going back in time to when boarding schools where strict and humiliating punishments such as spanking were very common.This group is aimed to take you there.See it as a kind of ageplay, wether you are 18 or 80 and you have experiences and/or images you'd like to share. Come back to school but this time it's 1950 when things were a little different to now.Meet the Head Master or Head Mistress or the Prefects who abuse their powers to administer their strict dicipline.Behave or elseYou have been warned.Rules of membershipWhen joining you must write an essay describing yourself or your roleplay character. Add some pictures/drawings or movies to illustrate what you have writtenNo common porn that can be found everywhere.Stick to the themeOff subject material is forbidden and will be removed and so will be persistant offendersThis group is for adults to play out fantasies and indulge in role/age play. It is not for children...

Incest Fiction & Role Play

6,500 Uploads · 1,982 Members · 249 Forum Posts · 848,386 Visitors
This is a forum for incest fiction story written by motherless members. There will be opportunities to take part in roleplays. You can proposition for a roleplay only in the Roleplay Request forum. Any topics created for a roleplay request will be deleted.All content & discussion MUST be 18+.We will have only 100% incest image and video (or role-play). If a media file is debunk...
This is a forum for incest fiction story written by motherless members. There will be opportunities to take part in roleplays. You can proposition for a roleplay only in the Roleplay Request forum. Any topics created for a roleplay request will be deleted.All content & discussion MUST be 18+.We will have only 100% incest image and video (or role-play). If a media file is debunked it will be removed. If a member repeatedly uploads media that is obviously not incest related the user will be removed.If you add media specify whether it is REAL-incest or ROLEPLAY-incest. Real incest may not be all that apparent, but our members will cross these out if they are proven to be unrelated. Roleplay incest must be just that. The characters in the media must acknowledge one another as family.If you post a fiction do so with good taste. We will not tolerate fiction depicting children (17 or younger). This is strictly not allowed.Slander towards other members or negativity will not be tolerated. Any member flagrantly smashing another member will be removed without notice and their post deleted.The stories may be real, they may not be. But I ask that you try your best to write well. So type the story in Microsoft Word or some other word processor to make sure your spelling and punctuation is correct.You can make a more compelling story by adding small details that make it seem real. Ever hear someone telling a story that they found amazing? They saw bigfoot? They said they left a certain place, the drove down a certain road, the night was dark, they stop to help someone who has a flat tire and they drive away. A little ways up the road, the road leers left and a bigfoot runs across the road. It is hard to believe but the little facts that are put into it make it more compelling and less obvious as a fake.Remember, writing the fiction gets the writer off and it will get the reader off. You don't have to be intellectual to cum from a story. Besides, incest, for most of us is only a fantasy and only ever will be. When you have sex with your girlfriend you imagine she's your sister, or your mother. If you're here and you have a steady partner you've done this. I would like to start a discussion on how to approach your significant other to accept a sexual role as a family member. They may like it to. Or maybe you'll learn how to seduce your mother. I've heard it is actually quite easy.So just have fun. Bust a nut. Be nice and make friends. Have some one-on-one roleplay with other members and share in the forum what happened between you.We are all a goon family here. Remember that....

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic

1,900 Uploads · 429 Members · 4 Forum Posts · 240,208 Visitors
My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic is a children's animated television series produced by Hasbro Studios and DHX Media Vancouver. The series is based on Hasbro's My Little Pony line of toys and animated works and is often referred to be the fourth generation or "G4" of the My Little Pony franchise. The series premiered on October 10, 2010, on The Hub cable channel. Hasbro sele...
My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic is a children's animated television series produced by Hasbro Studios and DHX Media Vancouver. The series is based on Hasbro's My Little Pony line of toys and animated works and is often referred to be the fourth generation or "G4" of the My Little Pony franchise. The series premiered on October 10, 2010, on The Hub cable channel. Hasbro selected animator Lauren Faust as the creative director and executive producer for the show. Faust sought to challenge the established nature of the existing My Little Pony line, creating more in-depth characters and adventurous settings.The show follows a studious unicorn pony named Twilight Sparkle as her mentor Princess Celestia guides her to learn about friendship in the town of Ponyville. Twilight becomes close friends with five other ponies: Applejack, Rarity, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie Pie. Each represents a different face of friendship, and Twilight discovers herself to be a key part of the magical artifacts known as the "Elements of Harmony". The ponies share adventures and help out other residents of Ponyville, while working out the troublesome moments in their own friendships.The series has become a major commercial success, becoming the most highly rated original production in the Hub Network's broadcast history and leading to new merchandising opportunities for Hasbro, including books, clothing, collectible trading cards, and comics. Despite the target demographic of young girls, Friendship Is Magic has also gained a large following of older viewers, mainly young and middle-aged men, who call themselves "bronies". Portions of the show have become part of the remix culture, and have formed the basis for a variety of Internet memes. Two spin-off feature films, My Little Pony: Equestria Girls and its sequel Rainbow Rocks, have been made and shown in limited theatrical screenings prior to television broadcast and home media release. A feature-length film separate from the Equestria Girls brand has been announced for a theatrical release sometime in 2017....

Real Amateur Facials- No Pro's

6,253 Uploads · 1,812 Members · 2 Forum Posts · 916,932 Visitors
I am a huge porn fan, but I am about quality not quantity. My favorite fetish is amateur facials. I am not looking for the same old facials from 10 years ago. I would like the freshest stuff we can all find. I'll start the group off with some of the classics, please feel free to jump in. 1) If you post any underage material it will be removed and you will be reported. I love degrading and abusing females, but there are millions upon millions who are over 18 years of age. Theres no reason to involve children. Thats not my thing son!2) please keep the facials AMATEUR, FRESH, HIGH QUALITY. No Pro's please. 3) I will mostly contribute pictures I would love some great videos from members as well.

Westernized Asians

694 Uploads · 653 Members · 9 Forum Posts · 212,228 Visitors
The children (18+ you gross weirdos)and further descendants of Asian immigrants to the western world are a clear subculture with their own characteristics, struggles, and artwork, and it's almost criminal how difficult it is to seek out pornographic art that comes from them, despite it being everywhere. so here's a group dedicated to Asian girls who grew up in a western culture...
The children (18+ you gross weirdos)and further descendants of Asian immigrants to the western world are a clear subculture with their own characteristics, struggles, and artwork, and it's almost criminal how difficult it is to seek out pornographic art that comes from them, despite it being everywhere. so here's a group dedicated to Asian girls who grew up in a western culture and speak English or any other western language perfectly. It sounds like a weirdly specific category, but after you see girls like Sporechan or Jazzylove_ you'll understand. No zoo, scat, torture, or revenge porn. Please keep the videos and pics to the specifics detailed above. Clear violations will get two warnings and the third strike will be deletion. Big pic and vid dumps will count as 2 strikes, and kiddie stuff will earn an immediate ban and report. Yes, I realize that this looks like I'm treating an entire race composed of several cultures, subcultures, and nations as an "exotic flavor" of women, but all I want is to collect porn made by the children (18+ you sick fucks) of Asian immigrants to western nations....

Diaper

501 Uploads · 233 Members · 10 Forum Posts · 60,041 Visitors
A diaper (also called a nappy in South Africa, Ireland, United Kingdom, New Zealand, Australia and Zimbabwe) is a type of underwear that allows one to defecate or urinate in a discreet manner, without the usage of a toilet. When diapers become soiled, they require changing; this process is sometimes performed by a second person such as a parent or caregiver. Failure to change a...
A diaper (also called a nappy in South Africa, Ireland, United Kingdom, New Zealand, Australia and Zimbabwe) is a type of underwear that allows one to defecate or urinate in a discreet manner, without the usage of a toilet. When diapers become soiled, they require changing; this process is sometimes performed by a second person such as a parent or caregiver. Failure to change a diaper on a sufficiently regular basis can result in skin problems around the area covered by the diaper.Diapers are made of cloth or synthetic disposable materials. Cloth diapers are composed of layers of fabric such as cotton, hemp, bamboo or microfiber and can be washed and reused multiple times. Disposable diapers contain absorbent chemicals and are thrown away after use. Plastic pants can be worn over diapers to avoid leaks, but with modern cloth diapers, this is no longer necessary.[citation needed]Diapers are primarily worn by children who are not yet potty trained or experience bedwetting. However, they have also been used by adults with incontinence or in certain circumstances where access to a toilet is unavailable. These can include those of advanced age, individuals with certain types of physical or mental disability, and people working in extreme conditions, such as astronauts. It is not uncommon for people to wear diapers under dry suits....

Censorship

1 Uploads · 9 Members · 0 Forum Posts · 4,538 Visitors
Censorship is the suppression of speech, public communication or other information which may be considered objectionable, harmful, sensitive, politically incorrect or inconvenient as determined by governments, media outlets, authorities or other such entities.Governments, private organizations and individuals may engage in censorship. When an individual such as an author or oth...
Censorship is the suppression of speech, public communication or other information which may be considered objectionable, harmful, sensitive, politically incorrect or inconvenient as determined by governments, media outlets, authorities or other such entities.Governments, private organizations and individuals may engage in censorship. When an individual such as an author or other creator engages in censorship of their own works or speech, it is called self-censorship. Censorship may be direct or it may be indirect, in which case it is called soft censorship. It occurs in a variety of different media, including speech, books, music, films, and other arts, the press, radio, television, and the Internet for a variety of claimed reasons including national security, to control obscenity, child pornography, and hate speech, to protect children or other vulnerable groups, to promote or restrict political or religious views, and to prevent slander and libel.Direct censorship may or may not be legal, depending on the type, place, and content. Many countries provide strong protections against censorship by law, but none of these protections are absolute and frequently a claim of necessity to balance conflicting rights is made, in order to determine what can and cannot be censored. There are no laws against self-censorship....

Slavery

971 Uploads · 352 Members · 26 Forum Posts · 137,487 Visitors
Slavery is a legal or economic system under which people are treated as property. Though laws and systems vary, as property, slaves may be bought and sold. Slaves can be held from the time of their capture, purchase or birth, and deprived of the right to leave, to refuse to work, or to demand compensation. Historically, slavery was institutionally recognized by most societies; ...
Slavery is a legal or economic system under which people are treated as property. Though laws and systems vary, as property, slaves may be bought and sold. Slaves can be held from the time of their capture, purchase or birth, and deprived of the right to leave, to refuse to work, or to demand compensation. Historically, slavery was institutionally recognized by most societies; in more recent times, slavery has been outlawed in all countries, but it continues through the practices of debt bondage, serfdom, domestic servants kept in captivity, certain adoptions in which children are forced to work as slaves, child soldiers, and forced marriage. Slavery is officially illegal in all countries, but there are still an estimated 20 million to 36 million slaves worldwide. Mauritania was the last jurisdiction to officially outlaw slavery (in 1981/2007), but about 10% to 20% of its population is estimated to live in slavery.Slavery has existed before written history and has existed in many cultures. Most slaves today are debt slaves, largely in South Asia, who are under debt bondage incurred by lenders, sometimes even for generations. Human trafficking is primarily used for forcing women and children into sex industries....

Limp Men

1,381 Uploads · 480 Members · 58 Forum Posts · 181,008 Visitors
THE FOCUS OF THIS GROUP IS MEN GOING LIMP -- KEEP YOUR POSTS FOCUSED ON THE MALE! WE AREN'T HERE FOR 15 MINUTES OF A SEXY WOMAN FOR A ONE MINUTE MALE SNUFF/KO THAT'S SLIPPED IN AS AN AFTERTHOUGHT! A group for all of us who love seeing a man taken down. This group is specifically and only intended for men playing dead or knocked out and going limp. 💁‍♂️ ONLY male victims (female killers are fine) 👶 No children (we may be kinky pervs, but leave kids out of it, y'all) 😿 No animals (what did Fido ever do to you?) 🔪 ONLY simulated snuff (because your benevolent admin is a bleeding-heart empath and just can't get behind genuine snuff films)

Aryan Allure

292 Uploads · 72 Members · 4 Forum Posts · 13,837 Visitors
We must secure the existence of our people and a future for white children.

Board Posts

1
Anonymous
@soapbox
08 May 2012 11:59AM
• 4,147 views • 1 attachment
[ − ] thread [ 4 replies ]

I don't understand how the member "anonymous" aka camteenwhores.com gets away with posting all the bullshit on these boards that he does including children. How is he still a member and not in jail?

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14
Anonymous
@soapbox
19 Oct 2011 4:09AM
• 9,418 views • 2 attachments
[ − ] thread [ 53 replies ]

To The Cunt Across the street and her shitty kids.

I don't believe in hitting women, but god damn it Paula one of these days Im gonna bounce your fucking head of a car wind shield. Sorry you got knocked up by every Nigger west of the Fucking African Continent, sorry that your husband finally saw the light and left you for learning none of your shitty kids are his, both of you being white and with monkeys for children should have been his first fucking sign you spread your legs for any Gold Tooth Monkey with a criminal background, and it pains me to no fucking end Unemployment cut you off after learning you were selling acid on the down low and your current Nigger boyfriend is doing time for a kid sex beef.
But the next fucking time you slam your rusty piece of shit car into my mail box, I am gonna kick you in the fucking tax rebate box you call your pussy! And for fuck sake, clean up your god damn yard, tell your shitty kids to stop setting fires on this block. And dont give me that, 'aint my kids' THERE ARE NO OTHER FUCKING HALF BREED KIDS ON THIS BLOCK! THEY DON'T EVEN MAKE THE EFFORT TO RUN AWAY, I KNOW, I CAUGHT LITTLE ASPIRIN OR TYLENOL OR WHAT EVER THAT LITTLE SHITS NAME IS SETTING FIRE TO A TIRE AND ROLLING IT DOWN A HILL.

I HOPE TO CHRIST, SOCIAL SERVICES TAKES THEM AWAY FROM YOU. FUCK IT, EXPECT THEM IN THE MORNING, ONE LOOK AT YOUR SHITTY HOUSE AND 9 MONKEYS, I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL FINALLY SEE MY TAX DOLLARS AT WORK!


now i feel better

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3
Anonymous
@random
08 Jul 2012 11:20AM
• 569 views • 1 attachment
[ − ] thread [ 7 replies ]

Thank god they blocked the word "child" on here. Motherless has a lot of shit on here that shouldn't even be on the internet, but I'm glad to see at least they are protecing innocent children.

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Anonymous
@random
02 Feb 2012 1:53PM
• 1,290 views • 0 attachments
[ − ] thread [ 9 replies ]

Racists are Dumb
Study by the Journal of Psychological Science:

People who exhibit racism and prejudice may simply be dumb, according to a new study published in the Journal of Psychological Science. Children with low intelligence are more likely to hold prejudiced attitudes as adults, according to lead researcher Gordon Hodson of Brock University. Low-intelligence adults tend to gravitate toward socially conservative ideologies, which stress hierarchy and resistance to change, the study found, and those attitudes can contribute to prejudice. "This finding is consistent with recent research demonstrating that intergroup contact is mentally challenging and cognitively draining, and consistent with findings that contact reduces prejudice," he said.

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7
Anonymous
@confessions
23 Sep 2014 4:18PM
• 4,120 views • 0 attachments
[ − ] thread [ 10 replies ]

This happened months ago now, and I've never really opened up to anyone about it, but I might as well tell people on here what happened. I'm passed the pain, and I'm now thankful for the experience. It's opened up new doors. Anyway... If you like elaborate fucked up stories, read on, if not, fuck off.

----

I've been In love with my Cousin since I was a young lad. I'm 22 now, and she is 25. She was like a big sister to me for a while, until she stopped growing and she stayed a perfect 5ft 2, and 100lbs.

She always used to cuddle up to me, kiss me, and has always treat me like a little brother, despite that I started towering over her, and now I'm a foot taller than her.

I have a male cousin who is the same age as me, and I always have sense a bit of a rage between him, his sister and me. Like there's jealousy there. Sometime she'd purposely treat me well in front of him, and not just as children, but as adults, and now I know why....

I walked in on my cousins furiously fucking in the bed that she pampered me on, and I didn't even have to think about it for too long to understand the bigger picture. This is why she was so sister like to me... because she enjoyed angering and frustrating her brother, and it made their fucks better... but this isn't the end of the story.

I sat outside the door trying to manage my emotions, when I slipped and alerted them. I ran out of the house as fast as I could, but it wasn't any use. My male cousin is a Rugby player and a soccer winger, and bigger, stronger and faster than me. He caught me, and dragged me back inside.

He threw me into the room with his sister. She seemed very different. She was still comforting but her voice was lower pitched and icy. She told me that as long as I listened and did was I was told then everything would be ok. She wouldn't let her brother hurt me, but if only I was good.

She talked about how she's always known that I've loved her, and that she wanted me. She began kissing me. She pulled my face against hers so hard that it hurt.

I was still resistant at first, and somewhat submissive, but eventually I felt feelings of anger, and became a lot more dominant. I got on top of the cunt and put my cock inside of her, and began pounding as hard as I could, but her moans were equally met with laughs, and then she wrapped her arms tightly around my neck, and then I felt a huge force on to of me.

I couldn't escape, and knew I was about to be sodomized. He handcuffed me to the bed on both sides, and I struggled for a while, and began to cry, until she loosened her grip, and the same soothing but somewhat Icy voice told me it's going to be alright...

Her brother began to lube up my ass and his cock, and I decided to try and relax, and accept what was going to happen. But suddenly her arms wrapped tightly around my neck again, and she force my mouth into hers, and I felt a sharp pain. Her brother was went balls deep inside of me.

I moaned and couldn't stand the pain but my mouth was still locked inside of hers. The sociopath probably enjoyed my screams echoing down her throat. I thought I was going to pass out, but eventually the pain was overshadowed by a new feeling. My cock felt so solid it hurt, and every time her brother thrusted his cock in my ass, something inside me felt good.

I began moan with pleasure, and she pulled my mouth and hers away from each other, and told her brother to "go for it", It felt amazing despite the fact that I knew my asshole was gonna be fucked completely. His body weight pounding up against me made my cock thrust inside of her, and we were locked in depraved pleasure.

She began moaning louder than I was, and I felt her pussy tightening as she began to orgasm, and shouted "fucking cum now", and I felt the most amazing feeling I've ever experienced, and came inside her, and while I did, my asshole tightened, and her brother screamed "oh fuck", and it made me feel good to know that my tight ass was pleasing him, and I felt my ass fill with cum.

Since that day we've been fucking together every time we had an opportunity. I get hard seeing that little slutty figure or the big alpha male body.

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-15
Anonymous
@confessions
24 Aug 2014 8:59PM
• 1,933 views • 0 attachments
[ − ] thread [ 12 replies ]

I CONFESS THAT I KNEEL AT MY BEDSIDE EVERY MORNING AND NIGHT TO PRAY TO MY HOLY, LOVING GOD THAT HE WILL SMITE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FAGGOTY, DEGENERATE ASSES AND SEND YOUR FAILED, WORTHLESS, PERVERTED SOULS
STRAIGHT TO HELL. TO ROT AND BURN FOR ETERNITY. I ACTUALLY PRAY THAT HE WILL PERSONALLY STAB AND DISMEMBER YOU AND YOUR WHORISH WOMEN AND YOUR DEMON CHILDREN WHO RUIN EVERYTHING BECAUSE THEY ARE DEMONS.

HA HA, JUST KIDDING. I ACTUALLY PRAY HE WILL POUR ACID ALL OVER YOU SO YOU WILL MELT.

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2
Anonymous
@soapbox
02 Oct 2009 6:35PM
• 567 views • 0 attachments
[ − ] thread [ 3 replies ]

wE r AlL chILdrEn oF the LIvinG God and he Is a PERV

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-2
Anonymous
@random
03 Feb 2015 5:36AM
• 0 views • 0 attachments
[ − ] thread [ 0 replies ]

Damien: Everybody hates me!
Mr.Mackey: Why do you suppose that is?
Damien: Because I'm the son of the devil!
Mr.Mackey: Uh huh that's a good start, why else?
Stan: Oh my god they killed Kenny!
Kyle: You bastards!
Stan: Oh my god they killed Kenny!
Mr.Garrison: What kind of sick weirdo are you?
Stan: Oh my god they killed Kenny!
Kyle: Say some thing Mr. Hankey.
Mr.Hankey: Aaaaah
Stan: Oh my god they killed Kenny! Dude, Kenny is dead.
Chef: Hello there children. Let me sing you a little song:
I'm gonna make love to you woman
Officer Barbrady: Well you ain't Fiona Apple,
and if you ain't Fiona Apple I don't give a rat's ass.
Reporter: What would drive a man to such a disgusting act?
Some Woman: My god that's disgusting!
Stan: Whoa dude, how do you have sex with a chicken?
Stan: At least im not a little pig fucker.
Cartman: God damn it!
Stan: Dude!
Kyle: Huh Sick
Mr.Hankey: Aaaah
Cartman: You get you bitch ass back in the kitchen, and make me some pie!
Mr.Garrison: You got to hell!
Stan: You butt plug.
Kyle: Damn!
Cartman: Well screw you too.
Cartman: Well?
Ms.Cartman: Sure Hun.
Cartman: Kick Ass!
Cartman: Hey, ill blow your freakin head off you peice of crap!
Mr.Mackey: I mean your one screwed up little kid, do you understand?
Cartman: He is a very disturbed little boy.
Ms.Cartman: You want some Cheesy Poofs?
Cartman: Yeah I want Cheesy Poofs!
Ms.Cartman: You can have a eensy weensy bit can't you?
Cartman: Well?
Ms.Cartman: Just a weensy eensy woo-woo?
Cartman: Okay!
Ms. Cartman: I bought you some Cheesy Poofs and Happy tarts!
Cartman: God Damnit!
Ms.Cartman: Just a weensy eensy woo-woo?
Stan: Oh my god they killed Kenny!
Kyle: You bastards!
Stan: Oh my god they killed Kenny!
Mr.Garrison: What kind of sick weirdo are you?
Stan: Oh my god they killed Kenny!
Kyle: Say some thing Mr. Hankey.
Mr.Hankey: Aaaah!
Stan: Oh my god they killed Kenny. Dude, Kenny is dead.
Mr.Garrison: Dumb ass, what a retard!
Stan: You fat fuck!
Kyle: Screw You.
Stan: Dude.
Mr.Garrison: Don't be such a little wuss!
Officer Barbrady: Fruitcake!
Cartman: Bitch.
Wendy: No, I'm not acting like a freak!
Cartman: Well I was standing out in a field and I had this huge satellite dish
sticking out of my butt, and then there were hundereds of cows and aliens, and
then I went up on the ship, and Scott Baio gave me pinkeye!
Stan: What the hell are you talking about!
Mr. Garrison: There are no stupid questions, just stupid people!
Wendy: Barf is gross!
Cartman: Nobody gives a rat's ass!
Pippins: Lunchy munchy hmm!
Stan: Oh yeah? Well at least my moms not on the cover of Crack Whore magazine!
Cartman: Damnit, would you shut the hell up?
Stan: Oh my god they killed Kenny!
Kyle: You bastards!
Stan: Oh my god they killed Kenny!
Starvin' Marvin: Yeah I want da cheezy poof!
Stan: Oh my god they killed Kenny!
Mr.Hankey: Howdy Ho!
Stan: Oh my god they killed Kenny. Dude, Kenny is dead.
Cartman: Son of a bitch.
Jesus: Yay, believe in me, and ye shall find peace, the way is paved with gold for ye who seek truth!
Ring Announcer: Wearing very very black trunks...the king of all that is evil...
Towns People: Barbara Striesand, Barbera Striesand!
Barbera Striesand: I'm Barbera Striesand!
Chef: Barbera Striesand?
Leonard Maltin: Barbera Striesand.
Kyle: Kick the baby!
Ike: Don't kick the baby!
Leonard Maltin: Leonard Maltin.
Leonard Maltin: Sydney Potier.
Chef: Sydney Potier?!
Stan: Oh yeah.
B.S.: Your some little hick!
Stan: You ugly skank!
Cartman: Damn your black heart, Barbera Stiesand! Hey! Why dont you stop dressin' me up like a mailman, and making me dance for you, while you go and smoke crack in your bedroom and have sex with some guy I don't even know on my dad's bed!

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1
Anonymous
@soapbox
17 Oct 2014 1:38PM
• 244 views • 2 attachments
[ − ] thread [ 32 replies ]

>no health care
>whites are a minority
>massive debt
>can't get elected unless you believe in Bronze Age fairy tales
>slavery and mass murder of indigenous people
>kill brown children in wars for cheap oil
>play a "sport" where large black men wear armour and grab each others' genitals
>no culture
>take credit for winning both world wars when you only played a minor role
>assassinates citizens with drones
>shoots kindergardeners on a yearly basis
>average citizen owns at least 3 guns
>still uses imperial system
>still tortures
>still has death penalty
>quarter of the population is in prison
>banana republic levels of income inequality
>high crime despite wealth
>high poverty despite wealth
>injecting chemicals into ground for cheap gas
>builds wood-houses and uses overground electricity
>majority of population denies evolution
>draconian levels of military spending
>mutilate their babby's genitals
>3rd world murder rate
>govt regularly starts a war every few years, typically with faked evidence for cheap oil
>govt can legally tap your phone
>govt can legally know what websites you visit and what books you got from the library
>govt can search your room if you drew a picture of a weapon

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2
Anonymous
@confessions
15 Jul 2007 6:09PM
• 2,581 views • 0 attachments
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When I was in middle school, some friends of mine were discussing rumors about the people who lived next to me--it was said they abused the children they babysat. Not wanting to feel left out, I told them about how, when I was over there, I watched as the son violently shook the baby rocker back and forth. This much was true. What I neglected to mention, however, was that there was no baby in it at the time.

Unbeknownst to me, my English teacher was standing behind us, eavesdropping. She took great interest, and made me repeat my story--first to her, then to the social worker. Not wanting to be labeled a liar, I repeated the same lie over and over.

My neighbors were subsequently investigated. As far as I know, no charges were brought. But, it certainly killed their babysitting business. And my mother and I were the subject of many threats and insults for years to come.

Since then, I have been nothing but brutally honest...no matter what the consequences.

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@random
24 Dec 2011 8:32AM
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(Parody of The Night Before Christmas written by Clement C. Moore)

T'was the fright before Christmas. No one upset me
With a big bowl of popcorn, watching TV

I stretched, gave a yawn, settled back in my chair,
In hopes that St. Nicholson soon would be there.

The children were lying awake without sleep
They'd seen all his movies. He gives 'em the creeps.

I'd cued up Cukoo's Nest with my trusty remote,
To the part where he had all the nuts in the boat.

When out in the yard there arose such a noise,
I turned off the TV to see what it was.

And what to my wondering eyes should approach?
But the Los Angeles Lakers and Pat Riley, their coach.

The limo was racing; the team at it's heels.
That's when I saw him the man at the wheel.

He ranted and cursed. Waved round his swizzle stick.
And I knew in a second it must be Jack Nick.

More rapid than the Celtics, these Lakers they came.
He screamed like a madman and called them by name:

'Now Magic, now Worthy, now Scott and Kareem
On Cooper, on Rambus, and the rest of the team.'

Down the chimney St. Nicholson came with a groan.
Then he brushed off the soot and said, 'Honey I'm home!'

He was wearing a trench coat. With beer it was stained.
And shirt clawed to shreds by Shirley McLaine

He had a fat face, and flabby beer belly
From too many trips to the bar and the deli.

'It's tough when an actor becomes fat and lazy.
I only get calls to play weirdoes and crazies'

And middle-aged has beens with washed up careers.
But I'll fix 'em all and play Santa this year.'

And with that he buried his head in the sack
And said, 'Let's see what you get from your old buddy Jack.

'A hatchet for Daddy,' he reared back his head,
'To scare all those little buggers upstairs in bed.

'And a stiff drink for Mommy, in a nice tall glass.
She could really use something to kill that bug up her chimney!'

With a wink of his eye and a twist of his face,
He threw all the stockings into the fireplace.

What could I do? What could I say?
What would I wear on my feet Christmas Day?

I asked for a reason, and turning his head,
He looked straight at me, and here's what he said:

'Why? Do you wanna' know why? Do you really wanna' know why, Pal?

'I'll tell you why. When you're out Christmas shopping. You know, doing your little Christmas things with all your little Christmas friends, spreading all that Christmas cheer with those stupid Christmas songs. Did you ever stop and think of picking up a little something for old Jack, huh? Did you ever stop to think of what Jack might like for Christmas?

'You know, Jack, from the movies, up on the big screen? Pouring his heart out, giving it everything he's got, day in and day out, just trying as hard as he can to bring a tiny little bit of sunshine into your miserable, little hum-drum lives. Did you ever think of good old Jack, huh, for a second? No, not once! Maybe old Jack just wasn't that good, huh? Maybe I wasn't good enough in The Postman Always Rings Twice. Acted my guts out for you in that one! Cuckoo's Nest, The Shining, Witches of freaking Eastwick, Prizzi's freaking Honor! All for you pal, just to brighten things up for ya!

'Not good enough though is it? No, you want me to brighten up the Christmas season too, huh? Isn't that what you want, Pal?

'Okay, let's make things real bright around here! What do you say we decorate the tree? String up these pretty lights here! Oh, she's looking brighter already! Why don't we take this cute little angel and ram her on the top branch huh? Ha ha ha! How about some gasoline for the whole freaking thing? I mean let's make her just as bright as she can be! What do you say we light her up, and chuck her through the old picture window here, huh, pal? No sense in having a tree as bright as all that and not giving the neighbors a chance to see, don't ya think, huh?

'There, aren't you glad old Jack stopped by? Huh, huh, huh? Ha!'

The flames towered brightly in the cold wintery sky,
As he made for his limo and bade his goodbye.

And an age may unfold ere I fail to regret
That visit from St. Nicholson. Which I'd sooner forget.

But I swear by the goose bumps upon my skin
That I'll always remember that devilish grin.

And his voice crying out ere he faded from sight,
'Merry Christmas to all, and I hope I never see you again as long as I live, for crying out loud!'

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@soapbox
08 Jun 2012 8:39PM
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Fuck whalewars. Those assholes are terrorists. Japan is an island and they have to utilize the resources they have at hand. They have been eating whales for fuckin eons, they have children to feed for pete's sake. If those pirates came and confronted my ship I would bind their feet and throw them into the ocean. Personally, I would love to eat whale meat. They are just big dumb fish. Humpback whales alone eat 36,500,000,000 pounds of food a year. I say kill all those damn whales and give that 36 billion pounds of food to the poor or mcdonalds of something. Damn, I hate whales

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