This is totally not the place for this but anyone with any advice is welcum lol.
My boyfriend and I have taken it really slow sexually. It's been nice, but tbh the amount we tease each other has definitely made us extremely horny at the wrong times (usually while at work or while we're away from each other. I do tell/show him every time I masturbate for him. I always get really into it, and I've caught him rewatching a video of myself bent-over and fucking myself while screaming his name and squirting all over my sheets).
I think I was a little too bratty/frustrating while messing with him today, because he said he plans to tear my ass up with his arsenal of paddling tools and that he plans to fist me for the first time. Like...my first time ever. I know everyone with a pussy says they're super tight, but I actually have vaginismus. Had to train my pussy just to use a tampon. I don't have kids but I've been told I'm too little to even think of having a natural birth.
Basically I'm the opposite of a size queen. 🙃 I've bled on average-sized cocks.
He said he's going to make me a warm bath and he'll work himself to it, but I'm so nervous. I've always wanted to be fisted. Some friends say they had the best orgasms while being fisted...but I'm irrationally terrified I'm going to bleed everywhere and then he'll be stuck in me and it'll be the most awful trip to the ER ever 😭😅
Is there anything I can do in the hour or so I have before I go to his house? Did a 30 minute yoga sesh.
Also for any of you beautiful pervs, yes I'll try to get some photos of it going down (or...in?)
Any advice is appreciated. TIA