OMG!!!

Awkward Moments in Porn 14

Awkward Moments in Porn 14

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The Worst of OnlyFanz II

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The Pump Master

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Jerk Deliberately Cums In Her Ear

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Orgasm At The Gym

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moms and daughters

2,967 Uploads · 1,440 Members · 5 Forum Posts · 413,275 Visitors
sexy mommies and their daughters. To prove that a sexy apple doesn't fall to far from the sexy tree!

Augusta and CRSA looking

1 Uploads · 13 Members · 1 Forum Posts · 4,174 Visitors
Group is set for people male female or couples looking for well male females or couples or anything else for that matter. Members must be from augusta blyth aiken north augusta hephzibah martinez evens appling waynesboro etc..

Sweet Tiny Apple Ass Only!

11,658 Uploads · 1,739 Members · 28 Forum Posts · 348,804 Visitors
Looking for those tiny buns. This group is only for those little buns that you can palm 2 cheeks with one hand, or a perfect palmable handful with one cheek. Nothing else. looking for a snack to bite. No "reigns to drive" needed.I Endorse and celebrate the following groups!;buttcrack - it's the new cleavage,A View From Behind\NUDE, NON-NUDE welcome! Girls starve to achieve this so i wanted to honor it! No sickle girls that spray a cracker with Ic@nnotbel1eveitis8utter and call it breakfast. There is a fine line between starving and healthy.

If it has an Apple it has a Banana

537 Uploads · 28 Members · 0 Forum Posts · 17,829 Visitors
Trannys

apple teen

16,372 Uploads · 1,658 Members · 3 Forum Posts · 777,568 Visitors
Just teen pics and vids.

Apple Juice

0 Uploads · 11 Members · 0 Forum Posts · 1,834 Visitors
i add stuff i like

“Neo-Tokyo Model Agency”

1,429 Uploads · 517 Members · 7 Forum Posts · 141,308 Visitors
◆◆◆ Here's the place for the most -Beatiful Models- selected from all over the world by Highly Sensitive scouts! ◆◆◆ *💋„Feel all Unique Exotics : Diversity of Beauties from Blue, Green, Yellow ... so Colorful the World Via High Fappable Runways!!◆ ◆ ◆ ◆ ◆ ◆ ◆ ◆ ◆ ◆ ◆ ◆ ◆ ◆ ◆ ◆        🎌        ネ        オ        🎩  💎  👠  ×  ❤  👙  👢        東        京        🗾◆ ◆ ◆ ◆ ◆ ◆ ◆ ◆ ◆ ◆ ◆ ◆ ◆ ◆ ◆ ◆ ~FEEL “YOUR ENDORPHINS” OVERFLOW~✡

Halloween

1,572 Uploads · 138 Members · 1 Forum Posts · 38,186 Visitors
Halloween or Hallowe'en (/ˌhæləˈwiːn, -oʊˈiːn, ˌhɑːl-/; a contraction of "All Hallows' Evening") also known as All Hallows' Eve, or All Saints' Eve, is a yearly celebration observed in a number of countries on 31 October, the eve of the Western Christian feast of All Hallows' Day. It initiates the triduum of Hallowtide, the time in the liturgical year dedicated to re...
Halloween or Hallowe'en (/ˌhæləˈwiːn, -oʊˈiːn, ˌhɑːl-/; a contraction of "All Hallows' Evening") also known as All Hallows' Eve, or All Saints' Eve, is a yearly celebration observed in a number of countries on 31 October, the eve of the Western Christian feast of All Hallows' Day. It initiates the triduum of Hallowtide, the time in the liturgical year dedicated to remembering the dead, including saints (hallows), martyrs, and all the faithful departed believers.According to many academic scholars, All Hallows' Eve is a Christianized feast initially influenced by Celtic harvest festivals, with possible pagan roots, particularly the Gaelic Samhain. Other academic scholars maintain that it originated independently of Samhain and has solely Christian roots.Typical festive Halloween activities include trick-or-treating (or the related "guising"), attending costume parties, decorating, carving pumpkins into jack-o'-lanterns, lighting bonfires, apple bobbing, visiting haunted house attractions, playing pranks, telling scary stories, and watching horror films. In many parts of the world, the Christian religious observances of All Hallows' Eve, including attending church services and lighting candles on the graves of the dead, remain popular, although in other locations, these solemn customs are less pronounced in favour of a more secularized celebration. Because many Western Christian denominations encourage, although no longer require, abstinence from meat on All Hallows' Eve, the tradition of eating certain vegetarian foods for this vigil day developed, including the consumption of apples, colcannon, cider, potato pancakes, and soul cakes....

Big Apple Tips

221 Uploads · 369 Members · 3 Forum Posts · 124,333 Visitors
A group for people who love pics and vids of big fat shiny apple sized cock heads. Who wouldn't want an apple a day?

booty - bounce, wiggle, twerk, shake,

87 Uploads · 119 Members · 0 Forum Posts · 38,563 Visitors
booty - bounce, wiggle, twerk, shake, smash, ride, round, cake, honeys, fatty, bum, fatty, phatty, ghetto booty, junk, trunk, onion, apple, ham, rump, tooshy, trunk, tush, ass...

Female adam's Apple

47 Uploads · 57 Members · 1 Forum Posts · 66,292 Visitors
For those who have the fetish for female neck, especially for women with the protruding Adam's apple.

Speculum

175 Uploads · 119 Members · 0 Forum Posts · 18,356 Visitors
Speculum examination of every Female Hole. Pussy-spreader is OK too.An Apple every Day, keeps the Doctor away, but a Speculum in every Hole keeps his Dick hard as a Pole.

Board Posts

6
The_Auctioneer
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@random
17 Oct 2023 10:26AM
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Chapter 9
The guards have come to the realization that you enjoy most of the abuse they've been heaping on you. That led them to start searching out more and more depraved ways to torture and use you, in hope of finding your breaking point.
One of them stumbled across the work of Dolcett on the internet and wondered if they could do it to you.
As much as the idea of impaling you on a spit and roasting you alive sounded like fun they decided they have to keep you alive. Too much paperwork if you die. And besides they're having far too much fun torturing you to have it end so soon.
Instead, they decide that they are going to impale you in the spit and roast you but only for half an hour.
There's a company picnic coming up for the 4th of July so it's the perfect time to barbecue you.
The picnic is being held in a clearing in the woods. It's warm and sunny and all the guards are relaxed, drinking, and happy. It would be a wholesome scene except for the naked sissy slut bound to the trees at the edge of the clearing. Standing, spread eagled, wrists and ankles tied to two trees.
The fire pit has been lit. They're just waiting for the fire to burn down and the coals to get hot.
While you're waiting to be "cooked" the warm summer breezes caress your naked, slutty, thicc body. Your nipples have grown hard, and your pathetic little cock is starting to stir too.
As the fire starts to die down your untied and led to the picnic table and told to climb up onto it. On your hands and knees, ass in the air, they start to prepare you for roasting.
Your hair is soaked and tied up. Herbs and onions are shoved into your boipussy. For flavour. An apple is pushed into your mouth. Not so much for flavour but only to make you look a like a roasting piglet.
They make you lay flat on the table and a large, round, stake is laid the length of your body. Ropes soon secure you to it. A wooden Frame is laid across your shoulders and you're soon bound to it as well. Lastly, a thick, long wooden stake is pushed deep into your gaping cunt and attached to the spit.
The entire time they're preparing you the guards talk about you in the 3rd person. They refer to you as "her" sometimes, but usually, "it".
Two burly guards grab each end of the spit and hoist you off the table. It's uncomfortable, but not quite painful. More than anything it's humiliating. You're a piece of meat, yet again, for their amusement. This time quite literally.
The heat hits you immediately when they put the spit in its rack. A small motor is going to rotate you over the fire, just like a fucking animal to be consumed.
It doesn't take long for the heat to start making you dizzy and light headed. It's also turning you on.
The heat licking at your useless cock with each rotation. The guards laughing at you and enjoying the spectacle.
After a few minutes they break out the barbecue sauce and start pouring it all over your limp body. Covering you, head to toe in sticky sweet sauce. A bottle gets shoved up your ass and the sauce pours in to mix with the other ingredients already inside you.
You've lost track of time. You're hoping you don't have to endure too much more. You can feel your cock and balls starting to singe. Your tits are glowing hot. The pain is becoming almost too much to take. Your screams and pleading are muffled by the apple in your mouth. Not that any of them would take pity and offer you relief.
The last thing you remember hearing, before you passed out, is one of them saying "Three more minutes and then we'll take the meat off the fire."
You're awakened by a bucket of cold water being thrown on you. Every inch of your body feels like it's been sunburnt. To make matters worse you're covered in sticky sweet barbecue sauce.
The guards want to get you cleaned up a little before the next stage of the festivities bit there's no hose to spray you down with. Then a brilliant idea emerges.
You're tossed on the ground, still tied to the spit, and the four dogs that have been hanging around are called over. They quickly begin licking the sticky sweet sauce off of you. Their rough tongues dragging across your burnt body is agonizing. Because you're a sick fuck, you like it. You start to moan and wiggle around to give the dogs access to more of you. Especially your pathetic little cock.
A couple of the guards notice what you're doing and start to laugh. They point out to everyone that you're fucking enjoying it. Everyone agrees that you're the most depraved, filthy, amoral, piece of fuck meat they've ever seen. They're excited about it. It means they can do anything to you. No matter how depraved, degrading, disgusting, violent, or taboo.
While they are chatting about what to do next, one of the dogs lifts his leg and starts pissing on you. The hot stream feels scalding on your burnt skin. It splashes across your stomach and chest. Some of it gets up around your neck and you open your mouth, hoping to be able to drink some of it to relieve your incredible thirst.
Everyone has gone silent, watching in amazement. When the second dog starts pissing on your chest you wiggle around to take it in the face. The hot dog piss in your mouth giving you relief from the thirst and a fantastic thrill at being able to be so fucking filthy. It's at that moment that the last 2 dogs start pissing all over your hard, but pathetic, cock. Your moans of pleasure leave the guards, and their wives, laughing and cheering.
Because it's the 4th of July the guards have brought along a bunch of flags, firecrackers and decorations to celebrate the day.
The dogs have licked you clean and lost interest in pissing on you so everyone is looking for a new amusement.
It's time to do some decorating.
You're untied from the spit and another bucket of ice cold water is thrown on your limp body. As you lay there, dazed, aroused, humiliated, you wonder what fucked up thing they could possibly have in mind.
A kick to the ribs gets you on your back. A couple more kicks and you're spread eagle in the grass.
One of the wives has brought a bunch of small flags. The paper ones with a wooden stick. She wants to shove them in your piss hole. The only problem is you've gone limp. It would be much easier if your clit was hard. It only takes her a moment to figure out how to get you hard again. She drops her panties, lifts her dress, squats over your face and starts to piss. It works like a charm. You can't help yourself. You open your slut mouth and drink it all down as quickly as you can. The shame and humiliation does what it was intended to do. Your useless cock is nice and hard again.
With her cunt still firmly pressed to your face she begins sliding the stick of the flag down into your cock. You're so embarrassed and ashamed at how much you're loving this treatment.
She manages to push two more flags into your pisshole. As she hops off your face she tells you to get the fuck up. You're exhausted and hesitant. A quick kick in the head and a slap across the face gets your moving. Your struggle to your feet.
She instructs you to show everyone how patriotic you are and to start waving the flags. Your efforts aren't even close to what she wants and she kicks you in the ass, over and over, making you stumble around, and making your faggot clit wiggle. The laughter from the crowd is so fucking humiliating and you wonder what the fuck is wrong with you that you love it.
That's when someone suggests that they should tun you into a proper flag pole.
Chapter 10

Having grown tired of watching your futile attempts to wave the little flags jammed in your pisshole the wives have decided to turn you into a “proper” flag pole.

A shovel is tossed at your feet and you’re ordered to start digging. They want a hole two feet deep and 3 feet wide. And you had better hurry the fuck up. Your efforts are decent to being but because of all the abuse you’ve endured so far today you start to tire and slow down. A crack of the whip then the sting as it bites into your ass. You dig faster. Another crack and another stripe across your sissy ass. You don’t speed up digging but your clit starts to involuntarily grow. This prompts laughter and ridicule from the guards, and particularly, the women. They can’t believe just how much of a pathetic, pain and abuse craving, sissy slut you really are.

Before too long the hole is complete. She shoves you to your knees at the edge of the hole, facing it. Turning to one of the other wives she says, “Jenn, bring the big flag and pole over here. We’re going to do this up right. Real patriotic.” She shoves you forward, so that you fall into the hole. Because of the size of the hole only your upper body fits. Your ass is in the air, sticking straight up. Completely gaping and exposed.

As she hands over the flagpole Jenn says, “I don’t think it’s going to fit. It’s way to big.” It’s not going to matter if it’s too big or not. One way or another it’s going in your cunt. Lubed, dry. No one cares.

The fat, wooden, flag pole is pushed up against the entrance to your cunt and pressure is slowly applied. It’s starting to work its way in. You do your best to relax and push out, to get the pole in your cunt without too much pain and tearing. It helps, but there is still so much of the huge pole to go.

She starts to lose patience with the progress and starts shoving harder and harder. Your cries for her to please stop are, obviously, ignored and you’re told to shut the fuck up and take it. You’re reminded that you’re only there to entertain them. Your pain doesn’t matter. Besides, she says, your hard clit says you’re enjoying it. She makes you admit you like it. You have to yell, loudly, for everyone to hear, that you like having the flag pole shoved up your ass.

Jenn starts to help. Between the two of them they’re able to force the pole deep into your cunt. Judging by how full you feel, you think there’s about two feet of hard wood up inside you. You’re ashamed of yourself for being proud of how much you can take.

Once it’s firmly in place a flag is attached to pole. It gently unfurls in the breeze. The wind playing with the cloth makes the pole move around in your cunt, pushing it from side to side. It feels like the wind is fucking you.

Your told that you cannot let the flag fall. It’s disrespectful. If it falls you’ll be beaten unconscious.
The group goes back to drinking, snacking and playing games, leaving you there. An object to amuse them.
After about half an hour you notice the dogs are sniffing around you, curious as to why you’re there. Realizing you’re not moving much they conclude you’re not a person and start pissing on you, like they would any tree, bush or shrub. At first they piss on your ass, because the flag pole is a natural place for them to piss. Eventually though they piss on your shoulders, back and face. Because you’re in the hole it’s really convenient for them to piss all over you.
Everyone sees it happening but there’s no way they’re going to stop it. It’s way too funny. Hell, not only are they not going to stop it, they’re going to join in. For the next hour you endure an almost non-stop rain of piss. All over your back and ass, all over the back of your head. In your face. So much in your face. Each time someone pisses in your face you open your mouth and drink in as much as you’re able. You try to be subtle about it so they don’t see you drinking it but eventually you’re caught. It’s decided that if you’re going to do that you might was well be a urinal for them for the rest of the evening. From that point on all of the piss, and theres so much because of all the beer drinking, is aimed at your mouth.
The sun is starting to fade from the sky. The coming darkness signals the next stage of the days festivities. The fireworks display is going to be amazing this year!

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@confessions
10 Feb 2020 11:21AM
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I CONFESS I MARINATED SOME CHICKEN MEAT OVERNIGHT IN A MARINADE CONSISTING OF PUREED SCOTCH BONNET PEPPERS, PUREED SHALLOTS, PUREED GARLIC, APPLE CIDER VINEGAR, AND JAMAICAN CURRY POWDER. TODAY I WILL COOK THIS MARINATED CHICKEN TO MAKE A DELICIOUS CARIBBEAN DISH CALLED JERK CHICKEN.

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@random
22 Jun 2007 4:59PM
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Hmm, well
AGES ago, i was at a party right, an' i usually make these drinks called 'Shit Mixes' (Yeah they sound way worse than they are).
ANYWAYS, this time i put alot into thought, and the ingredients i used in my 'shit mix' were:
Exstacy
Skunk
Piss
Jack Daniels
Fairy Liquid
Coke
Fruit Juice Apple Tizer (Nasty shit)
Vodka
and two cigarettes
After of course tricking some stupid cunt into drinking it, i laterly found out he had to be rushed into Hospital...yeah, so am kinda feelin' bad about it....well, plus i framed someone into the act of making the unholy drink lol, so yeah, sorry guy

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Aaniceguy
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@random
04 Feb 2013 6:47PM
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news.cnet.com/8301-13578_3-57552225-38/senate-bill-rewrite-lets-feds-read-your-e-mail-without-warrants/

A Senate proposal touted as protecting Americans' e-mail privacy has been quietly rewritten, giving government agencies more surveillance power than they possess under current law, CNET has learned.

Patrick Leahy, the influential Democratic chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee, has dramatically reshaped his legislation in response to law enforcement concerns, according to three individuals who have been negotiating with Leahy's staff over the changes. A vote on his bill, which now authorizes warrantless access to Americans' e-mail, is scheduled for next week.
Leahy's rewritten bill would allow more than 22 agencies -- including the Securities and Exchange Commission and the Federal Communications Commission -- to access Americans' e-mail, Google Docs files, Facebook wall posts, and Twitter direct messages without a search warrant. It also would give the FBI and Homeland Security more authority, in some circumstances, to gain full access to Internet accounts without notifying either the owner or a judge.

CNET obtained a draft of the proposed amendments from one of the people involved in the negotiations with Leahy; it's embedded at the end of this post. The document describes the changes as "Amendments intended to be proposed by Mr. Leahy."

It's an abrupt departure from Leahy's earlier approach, which required police to obtain a search warrant backed by probable cause before they could read the contents of e-mail or other communications. The Vermont Democrat boasted last year that his bill "provides enhanced privacy protections for American consumers by... requiring that the government obtain a search warrant."

Leahy had planned a vote on an earlier version of his bill, designed to update a pair of 1980s-vintage surveillance laws, in late September. But after law enforcement groups including the National District Attorneys' Association and the National Sheriffs' Association organizations objected to the legislation and asked him to "reconsider acting" on it, Leahy pushed back the vote and reworked the bill as a package of amendments to be offered next Thursday. The package (PDF) is a substitute for H.R. 2471, which the House of Representatives already has approved.

One person participating in Capitol Hill meetings on this topic told CNET that Justice Department officials have expressed their displeasure about Leahy's original bill. The department is on record as opposing any such requirement: James Baker, the associate deputy attorney general, has publicly warned that requiring a warrant to obtain stored e-mail could have an "adverse impact" on criminal investigations.

Christopher Calabrese, legislative counsel for the American Civil Liberties Union, said requiring warrantless access to Americans' data "undercuts" the purpose of Leahy's original proposal. "We believe a warrant is the appropriate standard for any contents," he said.

An aide to the Senate Judiciary committee told CNET that because discussions with interested parties are ongoing, it would be premature to comment on the legislation.

Marc Rotenberg, head of the Electronic Privacy Information Center, said that in light of the revelations about how former CIA director David Petraeus' e-mail was perused by the FBI, "even the Department of Justice should concede that there's a need for more judicial oversight," not less.

Markham Erickson, a lawyer in Washington, D.C. who has followed the topic closely and said he was speaking for himself and not his corporate clients, expressed concerns about the alphabet soup of federal agencies that would be granted more power:

There is no good legal reason why federal regulatory agencies such as the NLRB, OSHA, SEC or FTC need to access customer information service providers with a mere subpoena. If those agencies feel they do not have the tools to do their jobs adequately, they should work with the appropriate authorizing committees to explore solutions. The Senate Judiciary committee is really not in a position to adequately make those determinations.

The list of agencies that would receive civil subpoena authority for the contents of electronic communications also includes the Federal Reserve, the Federal Trade Commission, the Federal Maritime Commission, the Postal Regulatory Commission, the National Labor Relations Board, and the Mine Enforcement Safety and Health Review Commission.

Leahy's modified bill retains some pro-privacy components, such as requiring police to secure a warrant in many cases. But the dramatic shift, especially the regulatory agency loophole and exemption for emergency account access, likely means it will be near-impossible for tech companies to support in its new form.

A bitter setback
This is a bitter setback for Internet companies and a liberal-conservative-libertarian coalition, which had hoped to convince Congress to update the 1986 Electronic Communications Privacy Act to protect documents stored in the cloud. Leahy glued those changes onto an unrelated privacy-related bill supported by Netflix.

At the moment, Internet users enjoy more privacy rights if they store data on their hard drives or under their mattresses, a legal hiccup that the companies fear could slow the shift to cloud-based services unless the law is changed to be more privacy-protective.

Members of the so-called Digital Due Process coalition include Apple, Amazon.com, Americans for Tax Reform, AT&T, the Center for Democracy and Technology, eBay, Google, Facebook, IBM, Intel, Microsoft, TechFreedom, and Twitter. (CNET was the first to report on the coalition's creation.)

Leahy, a former prosecutor, has a mixed record on privacy. He criticized the FBI's efforts to require Internet providers to build in backdoors for law enforcement access, and introduced a bill in the 1990s protecting Americans' right to use whatever encryption products they wanted.

But he also authored the 1994 Communications Assistance for Law Enforcement Act, which is now looming over Web companies, as well as the reviled Protect IP Act. An article in The New Republic concluded Leahy's work on the Patriot Act "appears to have made the bill less protective of civil liberties." Leahy had introduced significant portions of the Patriot Act under the name Enhancement of Privacy and Public Safety in Cyberspace Act (PDF) a year earlier.

One obvious option for the Digital Due Process coalition is the simplest: if Leahy's committee proves to be an insurmountable roadblock in the Senate, try the courts instead.

Judges already have been wrestling with how to apply the Fourth Amendment to an always-on, always-connected society. Earlier this year, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that police needed a search warrant for GPS tracking of vehicles. Some courts have ruled that warrantless tracking of Americans' cell phones, another coalition concern, is unconstitutional.

The FBI and other law enforcement agencies already must obtain warrants for e-mail in Kentucky, Michigan, Ohio, and Tennessee, thanks to a ruling by the 6th Circuit Court of Appeals in 2010.

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07 Nov 2019 3:41PM
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[https://apple.news/A3TERTb5-QF-NyZUh0hFY2A]

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Damien: Everybody hates me!
Mr.Mackey: Why do you suppose that is?
Damien: Because I'm the son of the devil!
Mr.Mackey: Uh huh that's a good start, why else?
Stan: Oh my god they killed Kenny!
Kyle: You bastards!
Stan: Oh my god they killed Kenny!
Mr.Garrison: What kind of sick weirdo are you?
Stan: Oh my god they killed Kenny!
Kyle: Say some thing Mr. Hankey.
Mr.Hankey: Aaaaah
Stan: Oh my god they killed Kenny! Dude, Kenny is dead.
Chef: Hello there children. Let me sing you a little song:
I'm gonna make love to you woman
Officer Barbrady: Well you ain't Fiona Apple,
and if you ain't Fiona Apple I don't give a rat's ass.
Reporter: What would drive a man to such a disgusting act?
Some Woman: My god that's disgusting!
Stan: Whoa dude, how do you have sex with a chicken?
Stan: At least im not a little pig fucker.
Cartman: God damn it!
Stan: Dude!
Kyle: Huh Sick
Mr.Hankey: Aaaah
Cartman: You get you bitch ass back in the kitchen, and make me some pie!
Mr.Garrison: You got to hell!
Stan: You butt plug.
Kyle: Damn!
Cartman: Well screw you too.
Cartman: Well?
Ms.Cartman: Sure Hun.
Cartman: Kick Ass!
Cartman: Hey, ill blow your freakin head off you peice of crap!
Mr.Mackey: I mean your one screwed up little kid, do you understand?
Cartman: He is a very disturbed little boy.
Ms.Cartman: You want some Cheesy Poofs?
Cartman: Yeah I want Cheesy Poofs!
Ms.Cartman: You can have a eensy weensy bit can't you?
Cartman: Well?
Ms.Cartman: Just a weensy eensy woo-woo?
Cartman: Okay!
Ms. Cartman: I bought you some Cheesy Poofs and Happy tarts!
Cartman: God Damnit!
Ms.Cartman: Just a weensy eensy woo-woo?
Stan: Oh my god they killed Kenny!
Kyle: You bastards!
Stan: Oh my god they killed Kenny!
Mr.Garrison: What kind of sick weirdo are you?
Stan: Oh my god they killed Kenny!
Kyle: Say some thing Mr. Hankey.
Mr.Hankey: Aaaah!
Stan: Oh my god they killed Kenny. Dude, Kenny is dead.
Mr.Garrison: Dumb ass, what a retard!
Stan: You fat fuck!
Kyle: Screw You.
Stan: Dude.
Mr.Garrison: Don't be such a little wuss!
Officer Barbrady: Fruitcake!
Cartman: Bitch.
Wendy: No, I'm not acting like a freak!
Cartman: Well I was standing out in a field and I had this huge satellite dish
sticking out of my butt, and then there were hundereds of cows and aliens, and
then I went up on the ship, and Scott Baio gave me pinkeye!
Stan: What the hell are you talking about!
Mr. Garrison: There are no stupid questions, just stupid people!
Wendy: Barf is gross!
Cartman: Nobody gives a rat's ass!
Pippins: Lunchy munchy hmm!
Stan: Oh yeah? Well at least my moms not on the cover of Crack Whore magazine!
Cartman: Damnit, would you shut the hell up?
Stan: Oh my god they killed Kenny!
Kyle: You bastards!
Stan: Oh my god they killed Kenny!
Starvin' Marvin: Yeah I want da cheezy poof!
Stan: Oh my god they killed Kenny!
Mr.Hankey: Howdy Ho!
Stan: Oh my god they killed Kenny. Dude, Kenny is dead.
Cartman: Son of a bitch.
Jesus: Yay, believe in me, and ye shall find peace, the way is paved with gold for ye who seek truth!
Ring Announcer: Wearing very very black trunks...the king of all that is evil...
Towns People: Barbara Striesand, Barbera Striesand!
Barbera Striesand: I'm Barbera Striesand!
Chef: Barbera Striesand?
Leonard Maltin: Barbera Striesand.
Kyle: Kick the baby!
Ike: Don't kick the baby!
Leonard Maltin: Leonard Maltin.
Leonard Maltin: Sydney Potier.
Chef: Sydney Potier?!
Stan: Oh yeah.
B.S.: Your some little hick!
Stan: You ugly skank!
Cartman: Damn your black heart, Barbera Stiesand! Hey! Why dont you stop dressin' me up like a mailman, and making me dance for you, while you go and smoke crack in your bedroom and have sex with some guy I don't even know on my dad's bed!

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Anonymous
@random
23 Feb 2009 10:10PM
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Philosophy of Sex

"I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy."
�Tom Clancy

"You know "that look" women get when they want sex? Me neither."
�Steve Martin

"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don�t have a good partner, you�d better have a good hand."
�Woody Allen

"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."
�Rodney Dangerfield

"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL."
�Lynn Lavner

"Leaving sex to the feminists is like letting your dog vacation at the taxidermist."
�Matt Barry

"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope."
�Camille Paglia

"Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant."
�George Burns

"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships."
�Sharon Stone

"My girlfriend always laughs during sex�-no matter what she�s reading."
�Steve Jobs (Founder, Apple Computers)

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
�Jack Nicholson

"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."
�Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady � and you didn�t think Barbara had a sense of humor)

"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man�s genitals through his wallet."
�Robin Williams

"Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself."
�Roseanne

"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."
�Billy Crystal

"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful."
�Robert De Niro

"There�s a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what�s the problem?"
�Dustin Hoffman

"There�s very little advice in men�s magazines, because men think, I know what I�m doing. Just show me somebody naked."
�Jerry Seinfeld

"Instead of getting married again, I�m going to find a woman I don�t like and just give her a house."
�Rod Stewart

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thatguy1623
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@motherless
17 Jan 2015 12:35PM
• 546 views • 0 attachments
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Anyone else view this site with an iPad that can help me out? Ever since the most recent Apple update the videos don't work properly. I can no longer scroll forward when watching the videos. When I touch the video to bring up the progress bar the video won't allow it and just pauses every time.

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@random
10 Jun 2012 5:34AM
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I need to leave my girlfiend

So iv been with this girl for about 6 months, the shine is definatlly off the apple and iv begun to relax and be myself more, and she dose not seem to like it, at first as we all do we were all over each other and i was very touchy feely and im not normally that way with ANYONE, now iv begun to relax im not on her all the time and i dont want to "snuggle" every second of the day and she hates it, she dosnt want me going out where there mite be girls i can look at, (iv never cheated on anyone ever by the way) she has stopped me reading lads mags, she always wants to be together every night every second, she always texts and dosnt give me time to myself, i am a straight forward guy and i tell the truth so i say id like a night or day to myself she just crys, and im not good with crying women so i give in and do what she wants, she wants me to be honest and i am but when i tell her what i really think about things and feel she just crys at me, i have to leave her because im unhappy, but i dont know how to ya know? i feel really guilty for leaveing her, we are ment to move in together in a few weeks and i cant let that happen, i just feel bad about leaveing her, because it will hurt her so much.

any one got any advice on how to break up with her with as little damage to he as possible? and ease my guilt? :/

thanks in advance for your help and responces

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@chicks
08 Apr 2024 5:44PM
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How do you like them apples?

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@confessions
26 Apr 2016 4:42PM
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I confess last night my 18 year old daughter rubbed her Pussy up and down on my cock as she rubbed her clit till she cummed then jersey me off till I cummed all over her pussy. I never came so hard she red hair blue eyes and 110 pounds with small firm tits and a beautiful apple bottom ass.

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@confessions
16 Jul 2021 10:40PM
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Today my sister came over and said she has not had any  cock since the pandemic! Proceeds to drop her shorts bends over my couch and says have at big brother! I stood there in disbelief! Walked over spread those apple bottom cheeks and dove in head first licking that pussy and asshole! She is moaning and bucking and exploding! I get up after 20 minutes and put the head of my cock to that beautiful pussy and she bucks back! I am balls deep in my 22 year old sisters pussy! She is moaning, screaming and exploding! I let a big grunt out and just explode in her! I mean I filled her! Cum is just dripping out the more I fuck her and after about 15 minutes I explode again and now it is running out down her thighs she says I am done and omg my pussy thanks you! She drops to her knees starts to suck my cock clean I start to get hard she continues to suck my cock and now I am rock hard she continues and she can tell I am about to cum! She starts jerking me off and I start cumming and she just starts licking and swallowing! 

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