im a 47 years old man, fat ugly small dicked man. any 40+ woman wanna chat with me?

Hello fellow perverts as well as completely normie people who just happened to run into my post by some bizarre coincidence. Today I'd like to talk to you about my formicophilia kink which is the use of insects, bugs and other small creatures such as worms and snails for achieving sexual pleasure. In my case, it's all about ants and snails.

In my post I'd like to answer some questions that are likely to spring up inside your head on learning that someone could be into something this strange and bizarre, namely:

1. How did it start?
2. What does it feel physically?
3. Can it result in an orgasm?
4. Is it safe?
5. Isn't that some form of animal abuse?
6. What does it feel like to be into something like this?
7. Am I actually attracted to ants and snails?

So let's start with the beginning. There wasn't a single moment in my life leading up to or proceeding the discovery of my formicophilia fetish when I'd think "wow, these bugs are so sexy, want to have sex with them". Nope. It all came down to simple curiosity. On one sunny day probably back when i was still a teen I just happened to look at a random trail of ants and asked myself a very important question: "What would it feel like to have my penis bitten by an ant?" By that time I was already very cold-headed about sexual stuff and by that I mean, I wasn't particularly bothered by the fact that the thing I was considered doing could be viewed as crazy, disgusting or anything like that. I was like "it's just some ants, whatever". I should also mentioned that prior to this moment, I probably didn't even see any formicophilia related video on the internet and I had really no particular expectations. I was certainly allowing the possibility that I'd end up completely disappointed.

So, being a determined to satisfy my curiosity I collected some common black ants into a small jar and soon after that I found myself with the tip of my penis stuck halfway into the jar. The ants started to bite my glans almost immediately and... it felt ok. Nothing too painful but nothing spectacular either. It was however good enough for me to realize that there may be something more into this.

After that I started experimenting with new species, including ants that are bigger as well as those that sting. As you can probably guess by the fact I'm still into this, the results were much better. How much better?

This leads us to answering the second question and let me start by saying that nothing has ever brought me so close to the tears of pure joy in reaction to a physical pleasure as having my penis bitten in just the right way by a single ant, less than one centimetre in length. I kid you not, when that happened I realized that everything I knew thus far about my sexual organ and how sensitive it is was false. It was like I unlocked the next level of sensitivity in my penis and everything I experienced up to that point was just a boring warm-up. It's the sort of experience you just want to share with people, telling them that everything they thought they knew about the world thus far was wrong...

But ok, that's an extreme example, it happened only a handful of times and didn't last long enough to make me cum which is very unfortunate.

On average though, it's still an extremely pleasant and stimulating experience. You know, ants have mandibles that are riddled with small, sharp, pointy spikes and it's those spikes that are so amazingly good at stimulating the nerves inside the sensitive tissues of human erogenous zones. When they bite, it's like you're getting pinched in a way that's design to bring you as much pleasure as possible.

As for the stinging ants, these that I tried hardly bite at all and it's all about them stings. And let me tell you, they're just as well adapted for bringing humans sexual pleasures as the biting species. I don't consider myself a masochist and I'm very pain averse, but the feeling produced by having my glans stung by a red ant is nothing like pain to me. It's just a pure pleasure spilling all over my organ, activating all the nerves that normally stay dormant. It takes just one sting to give me a ranging erection and cause my penis to drip pre-cum uncontrollably. It also turns up my sensitivity levels all the way up to 100 making everything else feel better too and not just for a moment but for days so even the regular masturbation with my hand becomes a much more intense experience.

Now, you may be wondering can biting or stinging make mu cum on it's own? The answer is a resounding yes, at least when it comes to biting. I already mentioned that one example of being brought to the verge of orgasm by a single ant but who said we have to limit ourselves to just one ant. Unless I'm in a very remote area which I know no people ever visit, in which case I may decide to have some fun out in the open, I usually collect ants from an anthill into a plastic bag and then take them to my place where I usually apply them one at a time making sure they're all biting nice and deep. However, on at least one occasion I decided to stick my penis inside that ant filled bag (filled may be an overstatement, probably less than 20 ants in there) and within less than two minutes, their bites made me cum, completely hands-free (no skin pulling at the base or anything like that) without any prior stimulation. That was sweet. As for the stinging species, I've never came just from the stings but it felt really close at times. But to be honest, I still haven't experimented with all the possible variations just yet, for example there is this one species with which I only ever played outside but perhaps if I brought it home and was more strategical about application the results would be better leading to an orgasm.

As for the safety, I think there is essentially nothing to fear. Ants are pretty clean animals because the safety of their colony depends on there being no fungi or parasites. Also, the species that I use are too small to possibly break the skin.

The biggest risk is probably overdosing that is, using too many ants at the same time which can be rather unpleasant. I did make that mistake with both the biting and stinging ants. In the first case, inspired by one video I've seen posted here on Motherless, I literally put my penis on top of an anthill that was swarming with ants but that quickly proved to be the wrong choice as instead of getting bitten, my dick got mostly sprayed with formic acid and since I've got no kink for that, it wasn't fun. This ended up with some skin peeling off of my penis. Just to be sure though, that was a very superficial damage that didn't really cause any real pain or discomfort, it simply looked a little bit ugly for a couple days.

As for the stinging species, turns out filling up my shorts with angry ants wasn't such a good idea and after a couple of steps my dick and area around it was in a very serious pain.The swelling and itching that followed was also rather unpleasant. Here I should note though, that swelling only occurs when you overdose the stings, you can actually take quite a few without any noticeable swelling, especially to the glans themselves. I also tried getting my nipples stung and there wasn't much swelling to talk about either. Not sure what the effects on the clitoris or labia would be but it can't differ too much.

So yeah, if you let the horniness take over, you may suffer a little bit, but that is probably applicable to all sorts of sex related activities. Of course, there is also an issue of potentially being allergic to certain substances in ant's venom but that goes for everything too. I should also stressed that after all the times I played with ants, there is no visible scaring, loss of sensitivity or any other unwanted side effect.

Ok, so now let's talk about snails, like the one you see in the picture attached to my post. First of all, how did I get started with snails? Here the reason is a little bit different as I was already into formicophilia by the time I learnt about using snails for sexual stimulation and it all started with some random videos I found on the internet. If you type "snail porn" into google and search by pictures, or videos you'll find the links the the same videos that were inspiration for both my kink and eventually led me to post my own content.

My first attempt was with a very tiny garden snail with a shell probably 1.5 cm long. After seeing giant snails used in those videos I mentioned earlier, I had little hope of getting much out of it but boy, was I wrong. Almost immediately after placing the snail at the base of my penis I started feeling something stirring up inside me and the higher the snail climbed alongside my frenulum, the more intense the feeling was. I was basically at the verge of cumming but for reason I don't remember very well now I decided to remove the snail from my skin. Had he crawled over my skin for just 5 or 10 extra seconds, I would have ejaculated for sure, hands free at that.

However, for the reasons I'll discuss later I wasn't feeling comfortable using wild snails found outside plus I really wanted a big snail on my penis which in turn led me into getting myself some pet Giant African Snails which in case you're wondering, are very easy and cheap to maintain although if you're living in the States, they're illegal there since they're considered an invasive species. Fast forward to today and I'm using my pet snails for sexual stimulation regularly.

If I were to describe the feeling I'd use adjectives such as wet, messy, relaxing, subtle and gentle. In a sense giant snails are the opposite of ants because where ants apply a very concentrated pleasure into a very small area in a pretty sudden manner, with snails, it's all much more spread and sublime.

Perhaps the biggest testimony of how nice it is to have their smooth bodies tightly glued to my penis is the fact that they make me cum on a regular basis and all it takes is for my to hold my dick slightly at the base. The lovely part is how gradual the buildup towards orgasm is while using them. When it comes to sex I live by the rule that it's always best to do things as slowly as possible and snails are just perfect in this respect, in fact they may be better than anything else I ever tried.

Now, as far as the safety is concerned, the reason why I opted for pet snails that were born in captivity is because upon doing my research on snails prior to using them I discovered that they can actually carry some parasites. Pretty much all articles I've read indicated that the only mode of transmission worth worrying about was a direct digestion of the snail itself but I still didn't feel comfortable letting the slime of a wild snail drain down my urethra so that's why I chose to keep my own snails instead. This pretty much ensures that they can't come into contact with any nasty parasites, and in case there were any, they'd die, since snails are merely intermediate hosts.

I bet there will be some people claiming that it's still dangerous but for me personally putting a snail on my dick seems much safer and hygienic than eating raw meat, letting a dog lick my face, or engaging in anal sex that can literally result in feces being forced down the urethra.

Now you may thinking that "wait a moment, isn't that some sort of animal abuse?!".

Let's start with ants because in their case the matter is basically settled already. Ants are simple insects and according to science they're unconscious, little, biological robots programmed to survive and reproduce. They do not have sentience. An ant has no conscious desire to live or to avoid pain, it's just acting according to its evolutionary programming. Ants are in this sense no different than grass or viruses or even plastic toys really and the fact ants are alive has no influence here because life is not a magical property by any means. In other words, you could just as well argue that stepping on the grass is also an abuse and thus immoral.

With snails, the matter is almost equally simple because despite being much bigger in size, they don't have brains and they're believed to be unconscious as well. Is there like a 0.0000000000001% chance that maybe my snails do have some sort of primitive consciousness and they don't like when I'm putting them on my dick? There may be. But it would be ridiculous to suggest that I should respect that probability so much so as to stop using them because by that logic, that is, if we agreed that even the tiniest risks (in this case, the infinitesimal chance that my snails are feeling some sort of primitive discomfort) should be considered more important than the benefits (in this case, giving me, a human, a conscious being a great deal of physical pleasure) we'd live in a perpetual state of paralysis unable to make any choices. Furthermore, it's not exactly possible to force snails into doing anything because if they're really unhappy, they can simply hide inside their shells or refuse to stick to a given surface. So it's probably safe to assume being on my penis isn't exactly the end of the world for them.

Lastly, I think any person attacking my fetish on the grounds that it's immoral or unethical should first have a look at the real source of animal abuse which is the meat production. Most people eat waaaaay more eat than they need to survive or to stay healthy even though they have access to and can afford switching to a green diet. They just like the taste of meat or are too lazy to change their habits. What I'm trying to say here is that if you're fine with your friends eating meat even if they don't need to, and you think that's fine, then you have absolutely zero grounds for thinking I'm doing anything wrong.

But it's not that I think I'm doing something that is merely less wrong than the thing someone else is doing even if that other thing is worse by many orders of magnitude (commissioning the killing of a cow with a high capacity for consciousness vs putting a snail, an organism with probably no capacity for consciousness on a penis). I don't think I'm doing anything wrong at all.

This brings us to the last question which I think people may have which is how I feel about my own fetish. Do I feel guilt, shame, would I get rid of it if I could? Or maybe I'm somehow proud of it? The answer is, it's alright. I'm not proud of something I had no real influence over, I didn't choose to enjoy having my dick bitten by ants or covered in slime by snails. And I don't feel shame or guilt. Like I said, I don't think I'm doing anything even remotely wrong on moral terms. I also don't think it's dirty or disgusting, I think anal sex is genuinely much more gross than whatever I can possibly do with ants or snails. And I wouldn't get rid of my kink even if I could. How would that even look like? Suddenly they'd make my penis insensitive to the bites? That sounds more like making me objectively worse off.

It does feel a little bit nice though, knowing that I'm experiencing something that so very few people in the world have the opportunity to experience. The fact it's such a taboo and forbidden fruit arguably makes it even more hotter.

We're nearing the finish line so let me just stress once again that I do not feel attracted in any way to insects or snails. I never look at them in a way that is similar to the way I look at attractive women. Instead I view them more like object or tools, similar to the way I treat sex toys. Yes, they're alive but that really isn't as important as some people think it is. Being alive simply means the machinery is working and can produce new machines. The relevant part is consciousness and capacity for it which both ants and snails lack which means it justifiable to treat them in the same way as inorganic matter. When i discovered that ants and snails can be use to achieve sexual satisfaction it was like when I first used a fleshlight or a vibrator. I didn't fell in love with those toys, it's just that now I'm aware of what they're capable of. I'm saying this not because I think actually finding insects attractive (if there even are such people) is something to be ashamed of but to show, that you can use and enjoy them regardless of that.

Actually, I'd lie if I said I didn't think that people should give formicophilia a try. At the worst you'll get to experience something unique, at best you'll discover a new form of pleasure that will be at your disposal for the rest of your life. I'd especially recommend formicophilia to all BDSM people. If you guys and girls enjoy beating, crushing, strangling, whipping, piercing and all these other things, then I see no reason why you shouldn't enjoy playing with insects, not just ants, but I think ants are the best and perfect for beginners. In general, any self-respecting sadist or dom should consider using ants on their partners.

Lastly, let me also note that overall I'm just a guy, I study, I have a functioning family, friends, as well as many other hobbies and interests. Formicophilia is just a small part of who I am. I mention this because all too often kinky people are viewed with the assumption that their kink is what fundamentally defines them, that it's somehow their essential characteristic and everything else is just build on top of that. But that's just pure nonsense to me. If you meet me in the real world you'd never guess what I'm into unless I just told you. The same applies to all people.

I hope that proved at least somewhat interesting. Feel free to ask me questions regarding anything, especially if you're unconvinced by anything that I wrote. And if you want to see more examples of formicophilia in action, feel free to visit my profile since I'm going to upload my stuff regularly, for the foreseeable future.

I'm 21, Fat, Ugly with a small Dick. I'm prolly gonna be a virgin till my death.

never posted before but I always lurk and I thought it'd be right to contribute.

I work at a mall downtown selling women's bullshit from one of those shack things, it's super overpriced and it takes a lot of lying to sell things. Anyway, one day this 60 year old asian lady walks by and starts looking at a little thingy and I start selling but she says she has to talk to her daughter first. So she leaves, usually that means no $$$ but she shows back up with her daughter who's about 4'11 wearing a headband around her jet black hair. She looks a little weird like maybe she could be retarded but at the same time she's kinda fuckable, they totally buy my bull shit. But the mom takes her to the side before she buys the shit (its pretty fucking expensive) and I overhear her say, "are you sure this is what you want?"
She says, "Yes mom, this is it, i feel like i can be happy before I pass now.." or something like that haha
At this point I'm putting two and two together, you know she looks sorta retarded and she's gonna die and shit not to mention she overall just seems kinda sick. So I sell them the stuff and slip her my number at the end cause she was vibing on me hard and I honestly just felt bad for her.
I texted her like a couple times that night just conversation stuff, but the next day while I'm working she shows up with a couple of friends who veer off when she talks to me. She starts asking why I didn't text her back, like sort of crazy, and her breath is just absolutely disgusting. i'm starting to seriously regret giving this bitch my number as she kinda goes off on me, blocking my sales and just generally being repulsive. she's still got the same hair, but her face isn't as covered by the headband not to mention her tits were just b cups and her hips were a little wider than I'd like.

But then she says that I should text her because I might get to have a sleepover at her house, I start prying deeper, asking what we'd do? She says that's all I want just like her ex boyfriend. But I push closer to her as she's sitting on my chair, thinking to myself i could honestly give a fuck if this girl leaves right now, 0 risk so i push my cock against her leg and say "maybe you make me want that" she says "want what....?????", kind of freaked out. I tell her " idk you're too young you probably wouldn't be able to do anything that I like well." she looks up at me with her stupid looking face and grabs on to my dick suddenly saying, "I can do everything everyone else does."

I tell her prove it, my car is in the parking lot, and stick my finger her mouth. her lips are like butter and even though her breath is gross I still want to stick my dick in it. She follows me back to my car as I leave my shit unattended like a dumbass, and we get in. I push her head down towards my dick, and she kinda starts to push back up but I push back down harder and she grabs my cock with her hand and sticks it in her mouth. she can hardly make it halfway down my 8incher because her mouth is small or cause she's retarded or something so I start thrusting myself down her throat deeper and deeper, she really can't handle this and she just looks at me overwhelmed and makes this moan of pain which only makes me go harder, fucking her mouth like it's a pussy. she gags hard, and pukes up a little on my slacks she starts to try and stop but I just look at her disgusted, and she just puts her mouth back on my dick, I think to please me. that just made me fuck her head even harder, I think I fit almost all the way in for the majority of it, I just couldn't stop thinking about what a stupid whore this was, I was just fucking using her mouth, she didn't even know my name. Right then I shoved my dick way to deep, she started gagging but I was too close and held her head down as I came in her mouth, spurting in her throat, when I pulled out she puked up a little again but this time it was my load. I came, came to my senses and realized how ugly this little thing was. I helped her clean up for a second, and walked back to the mall with her at which point I said, shit I think I see my boss by my shack, and didn't turn back to look at her as I ran back.

Saw her again a year later while I was with another girl, so I guess i'm only kind of an asshole cause she's not dead?

this post will be long but i wanted to share. it's a true story. i dont care if you believe it or not. i'm just sharing it anyway. i started grooming my boss about 1.5 years ago in order to get my own advancement within the company since hard work doesn't mean shit where i work. now I've been fucking my boss for almost a year now. i have had my pay go up 7% and added an extra vacation day since then. it's not much but it's a start. i dont know what my end game is but it's probably going to be getting her job while i groom her into the idea of a promotion for herself or a 'better opportunity' somewhere else. i dont know yet.

my boss is a total dumbfuck. to be that stupid is a feat. some might say a natural talent that no hard work can ever accomplish. she is one of those obese short purple green blue hair bisexual gender fluid people. this stupid ugly bitch has no individual thought of her own. truly lacking brain function. she does whatever corporate tells her to do. but she can't even do that right without asking for help from everyone. theres no doubt in my mind she's fucked her way up the corporate ladder because she is really fucking stupid and her own decisions have backfired literally every time. astonishing how inept she is. everybody kisses her ass in zoom meetings but talks shit behind her back in the work groupchat she isn't part of and has no clue about.

since ive been fucking her for months now i discovered that she's a complete fucking idiot outside work too. she's told me shit about her life she shouldn't be telling me. sometimes i dont even know how to react or respond. she claims she was raped 4 times but seeing how god damn stupid she is i don't really believe her. she told me about the time her father beat her for bringing a black guy home and the time her father beat her for bringing a woman home. this stupid bitch loves to talk. big time daddy issues. the more i hear about it, the more i cant understand how the fuck this bitch gets a higher salary and better position than me. it just makes ZERO sense at all.

this idea to groom her came to me about 1.5 years ago when all this lockdown stuff started happening. one night at home i was having log in issues from my work laptop and needed to go into the office. i didnt have the keys so she agreed to meet me at the office and unlock the door. she had no choice since i had a deadline and if i didn't meet it we would lose an important client. so i did what i had to do at the office and we go to talking since there was no reason for her to be there. she asked me what my wife thought about me driving back to the office late and i told her (probably for the 15th time by that point) that i wasn't married or in a relationship and that i pretty much fly solo. i think we smoked a cigarette outside and talked a bit more about that and work but I don't remember all the details. a little bit after that she texted me one night asking if my work stuff was going ok. i told her about some tech issues and asked if there was a way for me to have a key made so i wouldnt have to bother her if i needed to get to the office late at night. turns out corporate doesn't want people like me who work hard and give a fuck to have access to work stuff so i don't lose clients. my boss has to unlock each time. even if it was for 10 minutes she had to be the one to unlock the door. ok fine whatever. I think the 3rd or 4th time I had to go to the office late she was giving me hints that she was into me telling me she doesn't mind doing it and she would rather be with me in the office for 10 minutes than at home watching netflix alone. stuff like that. i remember driving back home one time and basically coming up with the idea to fuck her for advancement. more as a joke but later more serious. i'd think about it in the shower trying to come up with ideas but she was making moves too it seems.

one night i had to go in because of some tech shit and so i texted her and she asked me to pick her up on the way to the office because her car was in the garage. seeing how i had no choice i did it. i did the work i had to do, some chit chat since she was there doing fuck all as usual watching me work and brought her home after. she asked if i wanted to come in and watch the office for a bit. i told her no it as late, some bullshit like that but then she told me she was lonely and hasn't had somebody over her house since covid started and I was thirsty so I went in. Had a glass of water, sat on the sofa. so im on one sofa shes on the other. the office is playing in the back. usual small chit chat about how the tv show is similar to stuff that happens in our office, whatever, and then her cat comes from behind somewhere and jumps on my lap and scares the shit out of me. she laughs tells me her cat must feel comfortable with me. she goes from her sofa to mine and starts petting the cat. the fucking cat was basically napping on my stomach/crotch area. her hand is inches from my dick. i told her it was time for me to go and she said something like 'aw too bad'. i dont remember her exact words but it was heavily implying she wanted me to stay. i drove home thinking i would be fucking her soon and how i should approach it.

the next short while i would defend her a bit at work. maybe not 'defend' but like .. see things from her perspective or not be as combative when she would say stupid shit in meetings. this was the best plan i could come up with that wasn't obvious. anyways it seems to have worked since it came up at another late night office situation and she thanked me and started saying stuff like her cat misses me and sniffs the sofa where i sat for my scent. fucking weird but she's a whackjob so it doesn't surprise me. she brought her tablet and we watched some more of the office and i asked her if she knew about a couple people in our office dating. she said no and then asked if anybody else was. i told her something like "oh you mean like you and me with all these late nights?" and we both kind of laughed. she gave me a side eye/flirty look and i knew it was close to fucking.

she started texting me late at night for random shit, nothing to do with work. sometimes she'd ask me for my opinion on random shit she saw online or ask me to come hang out with her and her cat. i always told her stuff i felt she wanted to hear and not what i really thought...because what I really thought was she is pathetic and useless as a boss. somebody i wouldnt be around if i wasnt paid to be around them. one night she invited me over to plan some work stuff for the next quarter and we could order a pizza and watch tv and stuff like that. that was the night she first sucked my cock. she was obvious in her attempts at this point but i chickened out with fucking. i came all over her face and hair and sofa cushion that night. we've been fucking secretly since. nobody at works knows about it. i haven't told any of my friends. shes not a proud fuck but she's a set of holes while i advance my career. trying to do that on hard work and merit wasn't working so now i fuck my boss.

she's fucking gross when she's naked. her rolls are disgusting to look at. her tits look like another roll of fat. her belly button area smells sour and sweaty most likely from all the sweat in her rolls. she doesn't groom her ass and pussy too often so there's always hair around her asshole. when we fuck missionary her tits flop to each side of body to the point i don't see her nipples anymore. i mainly fuck her while she's bent over. her ass looks pretty good that way and i dont have to look at her face. i think i have cummed on her entire body at this point. she probably has crusty old cum in her fat rolls. she's basically free pussy and blowjobs. she cant take my cock all the way in her mouth but fuck do i love to see her gag trying. slapping my cock on her cum filled face and stupid hair is so satisfying. and ive gotten a raise and more vacation. sometimes you have to sacrifice a bit.

“I have a small dick and I cum too fast, but I am the best a licking pussy.”

When I’m with a women and I tell them this their eyes light up and always want to try me out.

im ugly too I look like Gordon Ramsay

They can’t resist, It feels like women prefer there pussy eaten over being fucked.

I'm a Girl scout that was raped by an ugly fat man with a laughably small dick.
He gave up in the end and slunk away while I pissed myself laughing at his pathetic attempt to rape me.

i confess that i really want to suck some cock. If you live in nyc and want to get your dick blown send me a message. I dont care how small your dick is or how ugly u are i will suck your dick dry.

i confess that i really want to suck some cock. If you live in nyc and want to get your dick blown send me a message. I dont care how small your dick is or how ugly u are i will suck your dick dry.

anyone have the link to the video of the two young teens (the dude is pretty ugly and a small dick) they look emo and only have sex for like two minutes at the end. in their bedroom.

i fuckin love this video but cant find it again.

I confess I've been fucking a homeless woman for the past 5 days, and have been paying for her cheap hotel room, buying her food too.
It all started last Friday on the 11th of June. I went to the store and this woman was on the sidewalk, her head between her hands looking down at the ground. She had a small sign that read, "hungry and homeless please help." She had dark brown hair, tan skin - and from what I could see a nice figure. She looked to be in her mid 20s, and I approached her, put $5 in her cup and turned around to go inside the store.
I heard a soft, "thank you."
Not looking back I casually said, "no problem, I hope things get better for you."
I went in the store and bought some items, but also thought I should get her something to eat too. So I did. They had sub sandwiches for $5, and I got her one, plus a box of chocolate chip cookies as a desert.
I got out of the store, and she was still there, head between her hands. I placed the sandwich and box of cookies next to her and turned around to walk away.
"Why are you being so nice to me?" she asked, with her soft voice.
I turned around and she was no longer sulking, or hiding her face. She had no makeup on, but was absolutely beautiful. Her blue eyes penetrated me, and then I noticed she had a black eye and a few bruises on her neck.
"Holy shit," I was horrified, "are you okay?"
"I- I am fine. I don't need your pity. This is what happens when you hook up with an abusive asshole. Thank you, god bless you for helping me."
"Look, whoever did that to you..." I searched for the right words, "I hope you don't have any contact with them anymore."
"I don't, that's why I'm homeless. I don't want to go to a shelter, I tried that and someone stole everything I had."
Someone walked by smoking a cigarette, and she asked to bum one.
"Get a job," the guy mumbled.
I pulled out my wallet, "here's two dollars for a cig."
He stopped and pulled a cigarette out and gave me one.
"Be more empathetic," I told him. He shrugged and walked away mumbling under his breath.
I handed her the cigarette, she already had a lighter and with a tiny flick of her thumb it was lit.
She inhaled it deeply, and I noticed she seemed far off and distant for a second as if she was thinking of a better time.
"Not too many people give a fuck about people like me..." she said.
"I try to - but the way society is, well we're all pretty much fucked." I told her.
"Yeah, well you probably got a white picket fence and a house, and me - well I make a lot of bad decisions, as you can tell." She lifted up the cigarette gesturing that smoking was one of them.
My dick started thinking for me at this point. She was pretty, had a nice body, nice tits. Her face was rounded with nice cheek bones. She was a bit dirty. Her shirt was stained, and she obviously wasn't wearing a bra. Her jean shorts were faded and ripped.
I was attracted to this woman, and blurted out, "If you need a place to stay..." I stopped myself. I didn't know her, and certainly couldn't invite her back to my place.
She looked me in the eyes and I could tell she was about to cry.
"If you need a place to stay I could get you a hotel for a few nights. Get you some food, try to help you get on your feet. Help you apply for jobs."
She smirked as a tear rolled down her dirty face, "No. I don't need you to be my savior. I'll be okay, really."
"I'm not looking to be your savior, nothing like that. I try to help people as much as I can. I don't have anyone in my life that I have to pay for, I'm a 38 year old loser to be honest. Sure I have a good paying job, I have my own place - but... well. What do I have to show for it."
"You have a house, probably a wife, kids..." She said looking down at the sidewalk.
"I don't, that's what I mean - I don't have anything to show for all of my accomplishments... so if I can help you, it makes me feel better about my life. Understand?"
She put her cigarette out on the sidewalk, grabbed her backpack and got up. She was sexy, with toned legs, nice hips, perky full breasts - her nipples poking through her stained shirt. If she took a nice hot shower, she would clean up well. Perfect 10 in my book.
"I'm in a bad situation, I guess I need all the help I can get at this point."
We walked to my car and I opened the door for her, she laughed a little.
"And they say chivalry is dead," she said as she shut the door.
I got in and started my car. I knew there was a cheap hotel a few miles down the road. We had a bit of small talk, she said she went to college for finances but dropped out because she met her ex that she 'fell madly in love with,' but that the relationship turned out to be a complete nightmare.
I asked if she had parents, or siblings that could help her out, and she got pretty quite.

"When I was a teen, my family went on a road trip that I refused to go on. They didn't even leave the city and their car was hit by a drunk driver. I lost my mom, my dad and my brother. The police showed up at the house and that's how I found out. So I got put into the foster care system until I reached 18... then I left. No aunts or uncles, nobody. Grandparents passed when I was a child, I don't remember them. I'm all by myself, and I have been since my parents died. My foster parents were loaded. They paid for all of my college, but when I dropped out because of my ex, they pulled all their funding and disowned me... which is completely understandable but I just can't forgive them for turning their backs on me. I know I'm not even their own flesh and blood, so they didn't even need to pay anything after I left."
I didn't say anything. I felt bad for her. She was completely alone.
We got to the hotel, $55 a night, which wasn't bad. I could surely afford to house her there for a few days.
I went in and paid for 5 days. With tax it was just under $300. I got the key and went back to my car and handed it to her.
"It's all yours. Just don't trash the place okay?" I said laughing.
She laughed, "Hey you're welcome to come in, I like talking to you. I haven't talked about this shit in a very long time."
My dick woke the fuck up, "Sure, it's good to get bad things we've experienced out of our systems. I'd be happy to talk to you about anything you want!"
We went to the designated room and she unlocked it, she went in first and I followed her.
Someone had the air conditioner cranking full blast, and the room felt like it was 50F degrees.
She turned it off, then turned around towards me.
"Look at me, inviting a guy to a hotel room and I don't even know his name..."
"I'm Jason, nice to meet you..." I left it open because I didn't know her name either.
"Judy," she said as she plopped her backpack on the bed. She opened up her backpack and pulled out some red and white underwear and walked over to the sink. She turned on the water and soaked them, using soap to scrub them.
"Ugh, I barely ever get to wear clean clothes - so I do my best to keep at least my underwear clean!"
"I mean, yeah - I'd probably do the same thing too if I was in your situation."
She stopped washing them and hung them over the ledge of the counter near the sink to dry. Judy tried to fix her hair up in the mirror as best she could, but she really needed a brush.
"Hey, if you want I can buy you a brush or whatever... do you need anything else?"
She paused and looked in the mirror at my reflection still standing by the door.
"Am I a kept woman now? Are you going to buy me all these things and keep me locked away in your tower?" She seemed a bit agitated.
"No! I'm not like that, I just wanted to help you out. Look, I'll let you be - I just really understand how things can really get bad."
I turned to open the door, "Take care of yourself, ok?"
"Hey wait, I'm sorry... I'm just... No one has ever tried to help me like you have... tell you what, you can get me deodorant and a brush. Maybe some red lipstick and some blush? A toothbrush and toothpaste? See, I'm getting greedy now." She was smiling.
"Ok, consider it done!"
"I'm going to take a shower, clean up - can you go get that stuff? I'd love to sit down and talk to you more."
I did. I went to a store and got her everything she asked for. I thought about getting a pack of condoms but then thought there wasn't any point. I was there to help her, not fuck her. Yes I wanted to fuck her but given she was abused, she's probably not going to want to have sex. So about 25 minutes later I was back at the hotel room, and knocked on her door.
She opened the door, her hair was still wet, she changed her shirt to a black shirt that revealed a lot more cleavage, and I could see a perfect outline of her tits. Her nipples were very obviously erect. She also changed her pants to jogging pants. She smelled of hotel room soap and shampoo. Her eyes caught me checking out her tits, but she didn't say anything at all. She was very beautiful all around.
I went in and sat down in the single chair that occupied the hotel room. She bounced on the bed and found the TV remote on the side table, clicking the TV on. She flipped through some channels and then turned to me, ignoring the TV.
"So what's a nice guy like you single for? I mean not that I'm any catch or anything like that... but honestly - no girlfriend? No wife? What's up with that?"
"Judy, sometimes life throws bullshit at you, ya know?" I said, kinda looking down, a bit embarrassed about being single.
"I was engaged once. I was going to marry someone but she decided she liked a fat tow truck driver instead... so one day I came home early from work and this fat greasy bearded ugly dude was fucking my fiancé, right on the bed. She yelled at me like it was my fault. Her tow truck driver fuck buddy got off her and charged at me, so I got into a huge fight with him. He fractured 2 of my ribs, I busted his eye socket and jaw. Cops came, he was arrested for assault. That was 10 years ago."
"Oh damn Jason, I'm so sorry. People are such assholes."
"That, they are."
She pointed to her black eye, "see this? This is what happened to me when I caught my ex doing meth. I smelled something funny and when I found him he was smoking it. Something broke in him, idk what happened because the next thing I remember I was waking up on the floor with a pounding headache. That was a few days ago. I packed a bag and left. It's not like things were good between us anyway. He was fucking this other woman, I really didn't care because I'm bisexual and ok with open relationships, but he started paying more attention to her. Turns out she was doing heroine, and he started to do it too. Then they got into meth, and I warned him that I'd leave him if he didn't clean himself up. It got worse, and I fell out of love with him. I just stayed there because I had no where else to go, and no one else to turn to. Well, after waking up when he knocked me out I knew it was time to leave." Judy looked sad as she remembered the traumatic events.
"Hey, I'm sorry that shit happened to you, but you're safe now ok? Judy look at me."
She did.
"You are safe now," I said again.
"Hey Jay, come over here and join me on the bed so we can watch some stupid program that we don't even give a fuck about," she said wiping a tear away.
I sat on the bed, away from her.
"Get over here!" she pointed to the empty spot next to her, "damn you're so fucking shy it's cute!"
I moved next to her. She put my arm around her and snuggled into my chest. She put the remote down and looked up at me, and kissed me. I felt her bite my lower lip, and then her tongue (which was pretty long) push deep into my mouth. My tongue found hers, and I pulled her body close to mine. My cock was throbbing hard. Poking through my jeans. I didn't want to make any moves, I wanted to take things slow, out of respect for her - but she had other plans.
Her hand found my cock, she unzipped and unbuttoned my pants. She took her shirt off revealing perfect breasts. I slid my pants off, then took my shirt off as we passionately embraced each other.
She took off her jogging pants, revealing that she hadn't shaved her pussy in a while.
"I haven't fucked anyone in 6 months," she panted. I laughed and she gave me a confused look.
"I haven't fucked anyone in over 5 years," I told her.
Our lips met again, my hands cupping her breasts. They were so soft! My hand glided down to her beautiful round ass, which was just as soft as her succulent tits! She pulled away from my kiss and licked and sucked my neck. Judy pushed me down on the bed and engulfed my cock in her mouth.
She moaned as her mouth slid up and down my shaft. My hand found her pussy and I slipped a finger inside her. She was soaking wet and dripping. Judy began to ride my finger, and I put another one inside her. I felt her muscles clench around my fingers as her tongue licked and flicked the tip of my cock. Then she mounted me. When she did, she screamed with pleasure. I grabbed on to her waist, looking up at her perfect body.
"Oh Jason, yessss" she moaned.
I was already feeling like I was going to cum, it was building up and my dick was getting even harder inside her.
"Oh Judy, slow it down babe, it's been a while..." I panted.
She sped up, she tightened her juicy cunt around my cock and smiled.
"Ohhh you're going to like this Jay..." she said, sliding me in and out perfectly.
And I did. I liked it. I came so hard in her I nearly passed out. All of my nerves convulsed, I could feel each ejaculation pumping inside her, filling her."
She could feel me too, and she loved it. She kept bucking as I came, and moaned louder. My erection didn't go down and she kept fucking me. I turned her over and started drilling her missionary. I kissed her lips as her nice tits bounced to each thrust I pumped inside her. I must have cum inside her a lot, I could feel it dripping down my balls.
"Oh right there," she moaned.
So I kept pumping her in the same spot. Her body twitched and her eyes rolled back.
"JASON, I'm going to cum all over that cock!" I increased thrusts and started pumping her harder and harder, I was going to cum again, I was going to cum too!
I filled her again.
We laid down and held each other for hours.
The first thing out of my mouth, "obviously you're not on the pill..."
"Obviously," she said as if it was a stupid question.
I stayed the night in her arms. Saturday, Sunday, and Monday I fucked her and came inside her even more. I offered to pay for her hotel a few more nights, but then decided to let her stay at my place.
"Would you like to come home with me? I mean, I just am offering..."

So that's where I'm at. She agreed to give it a try, to see if it will work out. I asked her to be my girlfriend, she said yes. Today is Wednesday, she's at my house - I'm at work. She's looking for a job.
So what do you think? I've never been with a woman that is so sexy. She cleaned up really well. I've gotten her more clothes, and she puts makeup on even though I tell her she doesn't need it.

I do have feelings for her, and even my brain is teasing that I have a future with her - maybe even marriage... but I asked her something...
"Why would you even be interested in me, I'm not handsome."
"Feelings have nothing to do with looks, and honestly you're not ugly at all, give yourself some credit. Plus, I have a fetish for older guys and you fit my fetish quite nicely, daddy."
I laughed.
"No, I'm serious - it's a kink. If we're going to be together we need to be open and honest with each other. If you ever want to fuck another woman, now that we're in a relationship, we'll have to have that talk ok? Don't get me jealous, it's hard to do but being deceitful will wreck what we have."
"Honestly, you're the first woman I've been with in a very long time Judy."
SO that's where we are at rn. In some ways, I kind of hope I got her pregnant... but I'm also worried that she's gonna run back to her old boyfriend and leave me. I know it's a long story, and for that I do apologize... peace.