For my protection and my friend this is a fantasy story. it is up to you to decide if it is true or not. but i am not saying that it is. This did not really happen. But, if it did, I would be confessing something that has haunted me for 2 years. My wife of 10 years died of an aneurism suddenly while she was at work. She was an executive assistant for a large company in San Francisco. We had no children. A friend of hers called me in tears before the police arrived at my place of business, which I will not identify. Oddly, I was composed while being told on the phone, kind of. I kept repeating "what?, what?" as if I didn't understand what she was saying. Her crying and sobbing made it clear this wasn't a bad joke. But, I just kept saying "what?" "what?", getting a bit loud at the end. None of my coworkers noticed my demeanor given the nature of our work. My reaction could have been consistent with a normal business call. I cannot explain. I don't remember hanging up the phone. I was sitting there with my mind spinning. trying to make sense of the phone call. I was in complete denial. After a few minutes, I started playing solitaire on my laptop. crazy, i know. but, i didn't know what to do. somehow, the game actually distracted me and I managed to put the phone call behind me. I was strangely at some kind of weird peace. But then I fainted when I saw 2 uniformed police officers standing at the end of the hallway asking a coworker which one was me. When she pointed at me, I suddenly blacked out from shock. They revived me shortly. I did not injure myself in the fall. The older female officer asked me to confirm my name, and then told me what I already knew. I got sick. I threw up until I was dry heaving. I could not believe it. I became hysterical and had to be escorted out by the officers. I didn't really think about it until we arrived at the hospital that they were taking me to identify her body. I panicked. But, a doctor gave me something, I presume a sedative shot. It calmed me down real quick. When they lifted the covering to show her face, i was calm. probably from the drugs. i said, yes that is my wife. next thing I knew I was home. The county medical examiner conducted a pretty quick autopsy to determine the aneurism. I thought those things took longer than that, but I guess they had a good idea what it was and scanned her brain to confirm it.

Her mom took care of the phone calls and funeral arrangements as I was in complete despair. Something that no one knew is that my wife and I were getting a divorce. We had not seen a lawyer or told anyone, yet. She asked for it. That also devastated me. I am an average looking guy, but she was practically a model. She was a cheerleader in high school and college. she was 5 ft 3 in., 120 lbs. light brown hair with hazel eyes. Now she was dead at the age of 33. We had not had sex in 5 years, despite my best efforts. She eventually told me that she had no interest in sex. I did not suspect she was having an affair. I knew her better than that. She knew it was hurting me, so we went to a few specialists and she was diagnosed with hypoactive sexual desire disorder. I did some research and now believe that it could be related to the aneurism that eventually killed her. She was going to file for divorce so that I could find someone who could fulfill my needs. I did not want it but she was very adamant.

A older man I met at church about 3 or so years before this tragedy, ended up being the guy who would be her embalmer at the funeral home. He came to my home to tell me and ask if I wanted him to get someone else, someone I didn't know, to do this THING to my wife. I told him no. it was his job and I trusted him. He kept offering to ask for another embalmer, but I assured him i was fine with it. He was very kind and gentle. He offered his condolences with a tear or two to match my own as he headed for the door. Before I shut the door, he turns abruptly, as if he had forgot something, and asked me if I wanted to see her that night. The transfer to the funeral home from the hospital had already been made. She was in a refrigerated unit at the funeral home. He was going to start the embalming process in the morning once all the paperwork had been filed. I don't know why exactly, but I said yes. I followed him to the home. it was late, probably 11 pm, maybe later. He told me that he was not supposed to do this, so please not to let anyone know. I assured him I would not.

I was expecting stainless steel drawers with handles, like you see in the movies and tv shows, but it was a decent size room that was refrigerated. inside, were three gurneys with people who had died that day. One was my wife, another was a 70+ year old man who had died of a massive heart attack earlier that day while having lunch with his wife. He was a large man, maybe 6 ft 2, 270 or 290, i don't know maybe 300. big guy. the covered body on the third gurney was shaped very similar to my wife. He told me it was a girl who was a passenger in a car with another girl who crashed while texting and driving. the driver lived. This girl, was not wearing her seatbelt. she was thrown fro the vehicle and broke her neck. died instantly. He couldn't keep talking about it. for some reason, the young girls death chokes him up and effects him more than even my wifes. I assume it was because she was so young. a mere teen. He starts to say something, but stops.

So, he's quite emotional after this day and says I can stay as long as I like, until he comes back to get me or I came looking for him, whichever happened first. He was going into the chapel area to nap on one of the benches.

he left me alone with three dead bodies in a cold room. I stood there for what seemed like several minutes before I approached my wifes body. I pulled back the covering. There she was, as I had seen her before. I stared at her still made up face from work. They hadn't had a chance to clean her up for embalming yet. She was very white, kinda bluish. But, still just as attractive as the girl I fell in love with in college.

I guess it was an impulse. without even looking around to make sure no one was watching, I pulled the covering down to expose her breasts. I don't know how its supposed to work, post morten, but her nipples, which I hadn't seen in 5 years, were very erect. Her breasts are not very big. She is a small b cup, but still very perky for her age. NOW, I looked around and even went to the chapel to see if my friend was awake. He was snoring loudly.

I suddenly, with a very confusing mix of guilt and excitement, started getting hard. I hurried back to the cold room. I realized I had left the covering half off while I checked on my friend. I didn't bring a jacket, so I was pretty chilly, but my blood starting flowing and suddenly I began to warm up. I pulled my phone from my pocket. i was going to take some nudies of my dead wife. at that point, my cock had taken over and I didn't care how messed up any of this was.

so, with a shudder, I pulled the covering all the way off to the floor. I was in shock. I was expecting a bush, considering she had no interest in sex, but there she was... with the thinnest most perfectly trimmed landing strip I had ever seen on her. I was naturally confused, but didn't waste time wondering "why" she did it, or possibly "for whom" she was doing it. I started snapping photos and got very excited.

that's when things got out of hand. I was so turned on, I wanted to see her pussy. on the table, her cold outer labia was flesh colored and closed. I spread the covering on the ground and picked her up to put her on the floor.
rigor mortis is unsettling to say the least. while her legs and arms did bend down under the weight of gravity, her left leg and left arm seemed to stay more stiff. even her head didn't fall back like I would have expected.

i got her to the floor. and had a difficult time getting her legs to come apart. I finally figured to massage the legs to make them more pliable. eventually, she lay on the cold floor, naked, legs spread showing her perfect and tight pussy. and she was dead.

i didn't stop to think. i kept taking pictures and then realized... i realized the obvious. it was cold, but I got my pants down to my knees and knelt to the floor.

I don't believe in god like most people. i believe in a higher power but don't think he pays any attention to us. i hope I am right. i put my cock against her freezing cold pussy. rigor mortis, no moisture in her pussy, no lubricant. i was screwed.

i had gone this far. i wasn't going to be denied the pussy that was legally mine, at least while she was alive. I started going through drawers. finally, two rooms down the hall, I found some lubricant that I didn't even want to think about why they had it.

Back in the room, I dropped to the floor. I greased up my still throbbing cock. then, gently started applying lube to her pussy. it didn't feel as soft and fleshy as i remembered, but once I got my cock in, I remembered the ecstasy of having sex with my beautiful loving wife.

her eyes were closed, so I wiped my hands and opened them. I was a little surprised when they stayed open. I was fucking my dead wife as she seemed to look at me. I suddenly came harder than i can ever remember. it just kept pumping cum until it started oozing out her vagina.

i fell to the floor next to her. started playing with her erect nipples. and it wasn't more than 2 minutes before my erection returned.

as i lay on the floor, i could see the other two gurneys against the wall, side by side... then I got an evil thought in my head. yes, you know what I did.

I jumped up. penis purple and throbbing out of control. I walked slowly over to the other dead girl. I had no idea what she looked like.

I pulled back the cover and my jaw dropped. she was the most perfect looking blonde I had ever seen. her hair was cut short, up to her neck. And if i had any doubts about if she was a natural blonde before, I just saw the proof. a small patch of silky blonde hair sitting on top of her pussy mound. her tits were also not very big, but thats okay. she had thin, but muscular legs that made them look longer than they were. I noticed a nasty scrape on her left arm and left hip. not too big, and they had been cleaned.

the sheet goes to the floor next to my dead wife. this girl was even lighter than my wife. And somehow she seemed a bit more limber. I don't know why. I repeated the process., massaging her legs until they parted and revealed the smallest set of pussy lips I've ever seen. In a perfect clam shape with still some rosy pinkness left. her lips were also fuller than my wifes. not a lot, but they were cushiony to the touch. I took some books from a nearby shelf to put under their heads so I could see their faces better.

The girls eyes were still closed. When I opened them, they were bright gray, like so many movie stars. except for the scrapes from the accident, her flesh was smoother than my wifes, as a teen girls flesh would be. My wife was stunning. The perfect sex object now displaying her wares. And now this strange girl, legs spread, bright gray eyes appearing to look into mine. neither naked female able to smile, since they were dead. I make sure everything ls lubed appropriately and just before i enter this fresh coed, it occurs to me to check something.

I pulled apart her lips and with some work, and found...a hymen. if there is a god, i'm going to hell anyway. I gently enter her. looking into her eyes, then over at my wife who was now watching me fuck a dead teen girl. when I said her pussy was small and tight, and now a hymen? I wasn't kidding. I have an average size penis, about 5-6 inches. but, the blood had been pumping so long, I has as thick as I was long at this point.

I started to think it was't going to work, then decided I was going to MAKE it happen. the lube was adequate. I pulled back for a forceful thrust and grabbed her shoulders for support as I pushed hard. i felt ripping flesh. i mean lots of ripping flesh. i looked down and saw some blood. just what rubbed off her vagina as I made her a woman. I kept going. my god, it was impossibly tight. within a minute, i had again cum more than i thought i had in me.

i cleaned myself off, thinking it was time to put everyone back in place. but, i saw them again. lying side by side. these two beautiful women, totally naked. and totally mine to do as I wish.

I rolled the both over. they could have been mother and daughter. perfect asses. just absolutely perfect. i lubed up. started pumping my wifes asshole. When she was alive, she said that is something she would NEVER EVER do. out of the question. Yet, there I was. pushing my cock into her asshole. it felt a little, grainy, i guess? but obviously very tight. She was dead. I could go as deep as I wanted. I pushed and pushed, grinding into her cold, but bouncy soft ass cheeks. it felt incredible.

then, the girl. it felt about the same, but her ass was smoother, heaving and swollen, although, quite cold which I had gotten used to. I managed to lift her to her knees, sort of. i grabbed her tits and pulled myself into her as deeply as I possible could. that's when the final and most powerful gushing of cum started. I'm laying on her back kissing her neck as my cock empties into her. at that moment i thought of the girl who was driving. how much more guilty she would feel if she saw her friends hymen and asshole torn to shreds because she couldn't wait to text later.

an hour or so later, I had cleaned everything up. found new coverings. the old ones were quite dirty now. and had both in place and looking pretty much like they did when I arrived.

i put the dirty sheets in my car and trashed them later.

after I was sure i had all in order, i woke my friend, the embalmer. he was embarrassed he has slept so long. I told him it was fine, because I got to say goodbye to my wife.

He tells me he is going to stay and start the embalming since its almost morning, anyway. He walks me to the door. gives me a hug and tells me again how sorry he is. then...what he says next, well, that is why I'm confessing today. I'm an evil person. More than you know. My friend, who was kind enough to bring me to the funeral home to see my wife... he tells me what he was too emotionally choked up to say before his chapel nap.

that poor girl in the room with my wife? that was his granddaughter. She had just graduated high school and was heading to a Purity Pledge meeting before heading to Summer Camp. A Christian group of teens that pledge to maintain their virginity until marriage. He said to me that the only solace he could find in this senseless death, is that she will go to her grave having kept her promise.

Yes. I am going to hell.

Americans, you are being set up for a major scam and a sham. The goal is to reduce this country�s status to that of a contemporary version of a third-world nation. The ruling class attempts to make the ordinary citizens believe that it will immensely benefit the nation to "adopt" some 25 million illegal immigrants. Don�t be fooled by the politicians and mainstream media�s claims of dubious, short-run benefits. For, mostly the members of the elite class will profit from this plan. In the long-run, the citizenry is going to get the short end of the stick.

Some people just don't understand the divide-and-conquer strategy. The power elite uses it to keep the status quo in their favor. Many people are fixated on distinctions such as liberal vs. conservative, democrat vs. republican, the left vs. the right, and other artificial dichotomies. Meanwhile, the very wealthy are truly united. Consequently, the gap between the rich and the poor is increasing; the middle class is disappearing.

It is ever so easy for the ruling class to take advantage of perceived and actual problems�by introducing solutions that do not truly benefit the public-at-large. Instead, the proffered solutions substantially advance any number of agendas of the power elite themselves.

It is a classic example of the Hegelian Dialectic: problem->reaction->solution (or thesis->anti-thesis->synthesis). It is a great way to persuade the citizenry to accept something that actually is not in their best interest.

Consider the various free-trade agreements such as the North American Free Trade Agreement (NAFTA), the Security and Prosperity Partnership (SPP), and the General Agreement on Tariffs and Trade (GATT). The politicians repeatedly reassured us that they were each going to create more American jobs. Instead, those �free-trade� agreements resulted in many U.S. company closures and millions of lost jobs. Also, those same agreements directly caused a massive influx of some 25 million unauthorized immigrants, due to the resultant unfair trade competition abroad.

The U.S. government should enforce employment hiring laws as rigorously and vigorously as the IRS enforces business bookkeeping. It should stop the tremendous influx of illegal immigrants.

The proponents of illegal immigration almost invariably invoke mantras that are in themselves rhetorical fallacies: small [statistical] sample fallacy, smoke screen (or red herring) fallacy and spotlight fallacy. Here is the most misleading claim: �They are here doing the jobs that Americans simply don�t want to do.� Well, that particular group of illegal immigrants only comprise but a small percentage of the entire illegal immigrant population. There are countless millions of legal workers who would eagerly work in positions that are held by those who were either hired �under-the-table� or by using fraudulent identifications. Two decades ago, many students especially were able to easily find work in the services industry, e.g., retail outlets and major fast-food restaurants. Now, this is becoming increasingly difficult.

The great influx of unauthorized immigrants has caused a substantial reduction in wages, especially for those jobs that don't require a college degree. This is because there is an unprecedented surplus in the labor force, which results in much competition for too few jobs. No longer are those immigrants engaged in extremely low-paying menial labor such as picking crops, gardening, landscaping, garment sweatshops, and providing housekeeping services. At this point, they have successfully infiltrated all types of�previously high-paying�positions that don't require a college degree, especially construction and service jobs. Now the wages, benefits, and work-condition quality of many types of jobs have been greatly reduced.

So, one must ask several questions: Why would the elite want to cause a reduction in wages? Why do they want workers who won't insist upon the usual job benefits? How can the government permit tens and millions of workers from third-world countries to reduce the American standard of living? Why should the illegal immigrants not be required to properly apply for U.S. immigration�just like the responsible and law-abiding immigration applicants?

[hint]
It is all about globalization and the New World Order. It is simply happening in slow motion, piece by piece. Already, region by region, political, security and economic unions are being formed.* For example, eventually, the United States, Canada, and Mexico will form a union, somewhat comparable to the European Union.

If you do your own independent research, using reliable sources, then you will see the definite patterns and trends. The ruling classes have successfully used similar strategies down throughout history.

The writing is on the wall: a one-world government is just around the corner. And, it is being brought to you courtesy of the global elite. (Thank you very much.)
[\hint]

---

*Many of these seemingly disconnected and isolated events are actually parts of "ingenuous", long-term plans of the power elite.

---

Most of the week has been rather slow. A grandma, some cancer patient, and 2 hobos.

Saturday night, and I could be going to the bar. Telling some gal she's my kind of lady. Not even wait to ask for her name if she's a little drunk.

(All of the sudden, we get a fresh one.)

Fucking bullshit. Fuck. I'm so tired of these damn corpses. When am I going to start saving up. Meet someone, someone rich too. There are so many fat girls out there willing to marry. And they are loaded. Whatever.

(I slap hands with the transport dude, Bill or something. He looks high all the time. He thinks we're really great friends too. But whatever, he's a pervert, just like me.)

(I do the routine. Take the bodybag to the refrigerated section. Someone will come looking for her Monday. Sunday, if she's lucky.)

What was on TV? Ah yes. A fight. Round sign girl is looking fucking tasty.

Suddenly, a thought pops into my head. "her".... "she".... I wonder who she is. Let me go grab the file. I don't even look at them anymore, God this is pathetic.

Name: Kelly Madison
Age: 16
Cause of death: Overdosed on Nembutal
...
...

I can't keep on reading. I have a fucking massive erection. I'm just going to peep. All I see are fucking grandmas and hobos. This is like, first time kind of thing. It's important. It's OK I feel like this right?

I'm a little scared of seeing a dead 16 year old. I should call her Kelly. Fuck, that turns me on even more.

Whatever, let's have a look.

Holy shit she's fucking fine. Why did this girl die?
She's barely into livor mortis. I really want to touch her abs. They are so perfect. OMG. My balls hurt. WTF. How am I blue balled from this shit???

(I take a lick at her abs all the way up to her tits.)

That taste. Fuck it, I'm cleaning her up right now!

(I rush through that shit like there is no tomorrow)

She's completely naked and clean on the table now. Rigor mortis should start kicking in soon. I want to eat her out. God she looks like an Angel.

(I slowly lick her. She's super dry. I stick my tongue all the way inside her vagina. She'd be the happiest girl in the world)

I wonder if she's a virgin. If she offed herself then she probably lost it to some moron and decided to end life as is. My God, this is the luckiest day of my life.

(I spit on my dick and start entering. I can imagine that pretty face moaning for me. I open her eyes so I can see them. They are rolled back a little bit, but I imagine is from the pleasure of my dick. Which hurts a bit because its really dry. I have to spit a lot.)

No blood. There wouldn't be anyways. She's so tight though.

(I fuck her really hard, put her legs on my shoulders. Stick her tongue out, drool on it, and make out with her while I fuck her rough. First time, I let myself go: I cum inside of her so hard while yelling "you ready Kelly? OMG i'm cumming baby")

Fuck that was hard. I don't think I can ever do that again. Not even lube would make that any more pleasant. Plus I nutted and I feel kind of bad now. Like sick bad.

Who am I kidding? Where's my phone? I'm going to video tape myself jerking off on her pretty face.

(She's so young and I can't stop playing with her nipples.)

I'd fuck her ass too, but rigor kicked in.

(I video tape me jerking off on her face, finish all over it. Spread it into her mouth. I find myself drooling of pleasure.)

Holy crap I could live like this.

*Phone rings*

me: Hey, Morgue here.
police station: We're calling from so and so police station, did you guys receive a girl's body?
me: Yeah, about 2 hours ago
ps: her parents didn't know where she was taken, they just found out. They are going over there right now to identify her. They are pretty devastated man, good luck with that.
me: fuck. yeah, I know the routine
(I'm looking at her face covered in my cum while saying this)
ps: have a good weekend man
me: thanks, you too

(I wipe the cum from her face. I feel like I want to leave the bit inside her mouth. )

I wish I could jerk it again. Or fuck her again.

Whatever. She'll be buried with my seed inside of her.

i confess after reading about bradley coopers rigorous exercise routine to prepare for his role in American Sniper ive been motivated to get in shape as well. starting today i will begin injecting anabolic steroids, mainly clesterbol and boldenone, to body build and accumulate mass. Mr.Coopers routine consisted of working out 6 times a week however my schedule does not allow that much workout time so i should arrive at my goal in about 3 months using the alternative. i will keep this post updated.

ok, something different from all that you have read here.

i confess, that in 2007, while working in a regional hospital's pathology center i fucked a corpse.

i was working on the office side, but had good relations with our pathologists assistant (the guy, who prepared the corpses for dissection and afterwards for funeral). he spent most of his time in the basement where all dissected and not dissected corpses were laying in refrigerators. the fresh ones, that had just came from the hospital side, were in the corridor, waiting to be dissected or prepared for funeral (if a doctor had written the death certificate, they didn't dissect them and they went straight to funeral after preparing - washing, clothing etc).

as this basement was a very private place, i was used to smoke there. nobody cared. it was a desolate place, and the only one to come there was this assistant. he knew, i went there smoking during winter and i had the key.

every morning between 9.00 and 13.00 he was on dissection. they mostly had 3-4 dissections a day and each took about an hour, so one could predict how long the basement is empty.

so that morning i also went down to have a smoke. everything was usual. some non-dissection corpses laying in the hall. most having leftovers of medical equipment on their bodys. tubes, heart monitor sensors, cannulas etc. some even wearing diapers...yuck :-D

most corpses are old. at least 50...probably even 60, 70 years old and up to...infinity. but occasionally some younger ones also died. they were mostly addicts, full of drugs and HIV or car crash victims but they were all disfigured...addicts looked like shit and crash victims...you know...ground meat.

but this time there was that young girl. by her toe tag she was 19 years old. she was pretty skinny. unhealthily skinny. but she still looked nice. cute. even beautiful. i later read from her case history, that she had a congenital heart disease. anyways, as her cause of death was clear, she didn't go to dissection and so she was all intact.

i smoked and watched her and...as i had sometimes had a dream of fucking a corpse, i looked at my watch to see, how much time i had. the assistant was not to come down at least 2 hours. well, i thought, that it wouldn't take even 10 minutes to get over with it - so i pulled her legs on the trolley, she was laying on, so her hips were at the edge. as she had passed away just an hour or two ago, she was still somewhat warm and the rigor mortis hadn't come to an effect yet.

fortunately she had no diapers, so she was clean from there and i had no troubles fucking her. or it - i don't know :-) anyways it took me just some strokes to cum. as it was probably the greatest risk, i had ever taken, i didn't even try to hold myself back, so i was even happy, it ended so fast, though it was good and in right time and place i would definitely do it again.

when done, i wiped her pussy clean of my cum. had to clean her deeply, cause i didn't want the assistant to have even a slightest suspicion. i put her back on her initial position, did one more cigarette and went to work.

wanted that to happen later again but had no chance of getting my hands on a young and cute corpse ever again. they all were either old crones or young addicts.

that assistant had been working in the forensic pathology center before and he told, they had young girls of different ages all the time there. every couple of days a young boy or girl was brought there due to suicide or some stupid accident.

of course...in forensics you wont fuck a corpse BEFORE dissection cause you will get caught eventually but...if you're not afraid of some bloody stuff, you could also fuck them after dissection :-D

I found this on the internet today and thought I would share it with you. Sadly I'm not aloud to post where I stole it from, however you can always google.

10 Bizarre Sex World Records

1
World's Largest Penis (13.5 inches - 34.2 cm)

World's Largest Penis (13.5 inches - 34.2 cm)
Jonah Falcon, an American actor and writer, has been reported as having the World's Largest Penis with 9.5 inches (24.13 cm) in length when flaccid and 13.5 inches (34.29 cm) when erect.

Falcon has identified himself as a bisexual and works as a gaming blog editor. He gained media attention after appearing in a 1999 HBO documentary, a Rolling Stone Magazine article, a documentary by UK Channel 4 called "The World's Biggest Penis," and The Daily Show.

He was offered to enter the pornography industry but refused, saying it would be "just the easy way out... it's not going to help my legit acting career."

In 2012, he was stopped and frisked by the TSA at the SF Airport due to the large bulge in his pants. After passing through a metal detector and a body scanner, the world's largest dick was selected for additional screening, then finally released.

2
World's Largest Vagina (19 inches - 48.26 cm)

World's Largest Vagina (19 inches - 48.26 cm)
The World's Biggest Vagina most likely belonged to Scottish giantess Anna Swan (1846-1888), a remarkable woman who set a number of records relating to her bulk. Born normally sized, she began growing at a prodigious rate in childhood, finally reaching a maximum height of 7' 8" at age 19. Capitalizing on her huge size, she joined a side show and toured the country, where she met and fell in love with Captain Martin Bates, another giant who measured over 7 feet tall. They wed in 1872, making them the tallest married couple in the world, a record that still stands today. The couple settled down into married life, built a mansion filled with enormous furniture, including an 11' by 7' bed where they consummated their union. On June 18, 1879, she gave birth to the largest baby in history, weighing 26 lbs. and 34 inches in length—so large, in fact, that it became tightly wedged in her capacious tract, only extricated by the use of forceps and belts. The child did not survive the rigors of birth, but a cast was made, still on display at the Cleveland Museum of Health. Generally the largest part of an infant is the head. We know that the tyke's cranium measured about 19 inches (48.26 cm) in circumference, hence we compute the minimum dilation of Swan's passage as 6 inches, or just over 15 cm. That's pretty wide—the normal dilation for childbirth is 10 cm.

3
World's Most Prolific Mother (69 babies)

World's Most Prolific Mother (69 babies)
Feodor Vassilyev (1707-1782), was a peasant from Shuya, Russia. Though not noteworthy himself, his first wife, Valentina Vassilyeva, set the record for most children birthed by a single woman. She gave birth to total of 69 children; however, few other details are known of her life, such as her date of birth or death. She gave birth to 16 pairs of twins, 7 sets of triplets and 4 sets of quadruplets between 1725 and 1765, in a total of 27 births. 67 of the 69 children born survived infancy. The modern world record for giving birth is held by Leontina Albina from San Antonio, Chile. Now in her mid-sixties, she claims to be the mother of 64 children. Of these, 55 are documented. The mother with the greatest number of kids that are not twins is Livia Ionce. This Romanian woman, 44, gave birth to her 18th child in Canada in 2008.

4
World's Biggest Distance for a Jet of Semen (18 ft 9 in - 570 cm)

World's Biggest Distance for a Jet of Semen (18 ft 9 in - 570 cm)
Horst Schultz achieved 18 ft 9 in (579 cm) with a 'substantial' amount of seminal fluid. He also holds the records for the greatest height (12 ft 4in - 375.92 cm) and the greatest speed of ejaculation, or muzzle velocity, with 42.7mph.

5
World's Oldest Prostitute (82-year-old)

World's Oldest Prostitute (82-year-old)
Prostitution is commonly known as the world's oldest profession. Meanwhile police in Tai Pei estimate an 82 -year-old nicknamed "Grandma" to be the oldest living, working prostitute. Chiu went into the business about 40 years ago, after a man she had lived with for two decades died. She stays in the business charging ten or twenty times less than others prostitutes. (Source)

6
World's Biggest Orgy (250 couples)

World's Biggest Orgy (250 couples)
Japan has successfully set a new world record – having 250 men and 250 women consent to have sex in the same place at the same time, completing the world's biggest orgy! The Orgy was held in a warehouse with a professional camera crew taking pictures and recording the entire event. Each sex act and position was choreographed so that couples were simultaneous in their actions. Despite the "orgy" label, the 250 couples (all tested STD-free) featured in the video have sex only with each other and not with any other couple. The entire event is available for purchase on DVD.

7
World's Biggest Gang Bang (919 guys in the same day)

World's Biggest Gang Bang (919 guys in the same day)
Lisa Sparxxx is a noted American pornographic actress. She had sex with 919 guys in a single day, setting a world record. Specifically, it occurred during Eroticon 2004, a Polish convention that celebrates exactly what its title suggests, as part of the Third Annual World Gangbang Championship. This wasn't just some publicity stunt either; the coveted “World Gang Bang Record” had changed “hands” back in 2002 and 2003, when the number reached was 646 and 759, respectively.

8
World's Longest Man Masturbation (10 hours)

World's Longest Man Masturbation (10 hours)
A man by the name of Masanobu Sato attended the 2009 World Masturbate-a-thon held by the Center for Sex & Culture in San Francisco and set the world record for longest session by jerking it for 9 hours and 58 minutes. He came all the way from Japan just for the event, armed with a wide variety of sexual aids, and the record he was beating was his own. Last year he set the record with 9 hours and 33 minutes.

9
World's Strongest Vagina (lifts 31 lbs with her vagina)

World's Strongest Vagina (lifts 31 lbs with her vagina)
Meet Tatiata Kozhevnikova, the 42-year-old Russian woman with the world's strongest vagina. No, seriously, she broke records to attain that title. Incredibly enough, she lifted 14 kilograms worth of weights-- almost 31 pounds-- to achieve such notoriety. She has been exercising her intimate muscles for fifteen years, and has already made her entrance into the Guinness Book of Records as the possessor of the world's strongest vagina. “After I had a child, my intimate muscles got unbelievably weak. I read books on Dao and learned that ancient women used to deal with this problem using wooden balls,” she said.

(Source)

10
World's Oldest Father (90-year-old)

World's Oldest Father (90-year-old)
The world's oldest father has done it again, fathering a child for at least the 21st time, at the age of 90. Indian farmer Nanu Ram Jogi, who is married to his fourth wife, boasts he does not want to stop, and plans to continue producing children until he is 100. Mr Jogi admits he is not certain how many children his series of four wives have borne him - but counts at least 12 sons and nine daughters and 20 grandchildren.

DICTIONARY TIME! Time for some of you to loof at the full definitions of words so you know more.

dictionary.reference.com/browse/liberal?s=t
Liberal
adjective
1. favorable to progress or reform, as in political or religious affairs.

2. ( often initial capital letter ) noting or pertaining to a political party advocating measures of progressive political reform.

3. of, pertaining to, based on, or advocating liberalism.

4. favorable to or in accord with concepts of maximum individual freedom possible, especially as guaranteed by law and secured by governmental protection of civil liberties.

5. favoring or permitting freedom of action, especially with respect to matters of personal belief or expression: a liberal policy toward dissident artists and writers.

6. of or pertaining to representational forms of government rather than aristocracies and monarchies.

7. free from prejudice or bigotry; tolerant: a liberal attitude toward foreigners.

8. open-minded or tolerant, especially free of or not bound by traditional or conventional ideas, values, etc.

9. characterized by generosity and willingness to give in large amounts: a liberal donor.

10. given freely or abundantly; generous: a liberal donation.

11. not strict or rigorous; free; not literal: a liberal interpretation of a rule.

12. of, pertaining to, or based on the liberal arts.

13. of, pertaining to, or befitting a freeman.

14. a person of liberal principles or views, especially in politics or religion.

15. ( often initial capital letter ) a member of a liberal party in politics, especially of the Liberal party in Great Britain.
__________________________________________________________________________________

dictionary.reference.com/browse/Conservative?s=t
Conservative
adjective
1. disposed to preserve existing conditions, institutions, etc., or to restore traditional ones, and to limit change.

2. cautiously moderate or purposefully low: a conservative estimate.

3. traditional in style or manner; avoiding novelty or showiness: conservative suit.

4. ( often initial capital letter ) of or pertaining to the Conservative party.

5. ( initial capital letter ) of, pertaining to, or characteristic of Conservative Jews or Conservative Judaism.

6. having the power or tendency to conserve; preservative.

7. Mathematics . (of a vector or vector function) having curl equal to zero; irrotational; lamellar.

noun
8. a person who is conservative in principles, actions, habits, etc.

9. a supporter of conservative political policies.

10. ( initial capital letter ) a member of a conservative political party, especially the Conservative party in Great Britain.

11. a preservative.
__________________________________________________________________________________

Now then, which one of those sounds like change and reform? Oh yeah, Liberal. For example, when Romney/Ryan say they want to change and reform the Govt, they are being Liberal.

Hmm.. I think I just heard some heads of some Right Wings explode just now.

Wisdom overcomes all ignorance if people learn it. Educate yourself, TYT and RT america on youtube.

In the summer of 2002, when i was 26 i met an 18yo girl in a local chatroom who called me to visit her. Back then digital cams were rare and she had no pics but I didn't care cause she assured me that she's not a fatso. I had nothing better to do, so i went there. She was real and everything. It's just that she was sick. She had this born condition of heart, that caused her to be pretty thin and physically weak. She made it clear, that she'll probably die within a year or two but may be a goner by tomorrow. She wasnt beatyful of course, being pretty skinni and she had absolutely no tits whatsoever but she was still very cute. We spent nice time, BBQing in her grandmothers farm nearby and in the night i uncherried her :P She was pretty eager fucker i might say! So she started visiting me cause I lived alone in my apartment and she could come whenever she wanted. We banged like rabbits for about a year. Then I went to another country for a while and lost contact with her. When I came back i tried to call her but got no answer. I was sure, she had died as she predicted and didn't even want to go to ask her parents. so i just let it go. 4 years later i was working as a clerk in a pathology center in our citys major hospital. We had all pathology services up to autopsies in our building. The workers usually smoked outside but i got along well with the so called basement people who prepared the corpses for autopsy and later sewed them together and gave them make-up and clothed them and so on. So i usually went smoke into basement when it was winter outside. Not only autopsy corpses came to us, but almost everybodu who died in our hospital. Lots were not autopsied because the cause of death was obvious - for example long and well-documented illnesses and stuff like that. They were just transported to basement to wait for their make-up. The autopsies took place exclusively in the mornings, so before noon all the basement guys were cutting up corpses on the ground floor and basement was empty. So I was smoking there all alone with fridges full of corpses and usually some fresh ones just brought in waiting to be auopsied or put to fridge. So this one day I was baffled. Because on one of the newcomers was - well, you already guessed it! The chick! Let's call her Tiina, because that was her name (yes, with double i's because its a common name in my country). So, obviously she hadn't died back then. I was everyhting from surprised to sad to angry because i would have wanted to bang her all those years.! Well, I went back upstairs. And after an hour when I went back to have a next regular smoke I did it one last time. Wasn't very comortable because rigor mortis had already sytarted to set in and she wasnt warm anymore. But because she was really light and quite short (maybe 155 cm), i managed to turn her and bend her legs so thay had my chance. It was pretty weird doing her with all those needles still in her veins and heart monitor stickers where she sould've had her tits. I didnt want the basment boy to see her cunt being full of cum, so afer finishing i wiped her clean deeply and set her back as she was. It was pretty weird i must say....